Jennifer Komis, Jennifer Phelps, Mindfulness, Grief, Anxiety

Tools for Your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: Mindfulness

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Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap with Mindfulness (Part 2)

Imagine you are walking into the ocean. The waves crash against your knees and the sand slides
between your toes. As you walk deeper into the water, you notice subtle currents pull you in different
directions, left, right, or out further. It’s hard not to drift in the direction of the current; at times, it may
even feel impossible. You glance at the shore and notice you’ve drifted quite a ways in a direction you
did not intend. Now, imagine that instead of amid the currents, you are standing on the shore looking
out at the ocean. You’re noticing how the water rolls in and out, how the currents swirl and pull and
push the water. This time, you’re just watching the currents as your feet remain firmly fixed on the sand.
You notice the sun warming your shoulders, the seagulls singing overhead, and you begin to walk down
the beach in a direction of your choosing.

You may be wondering, what in the world does the beach have to do with mindfulness? Well, it provides
a metaphor for the experience of our daily lives. We may live on autopilot and go, go, go where the
currents takes us, without pausing to decide for ourselves if we really want to go there, how we really
want to respond, or if, maybe, we would just like to rest. Mindfulness reminds us that we have the
choice to ground our feet in the steadiness of any moment, observe it and decide how we would like to
respond to it. Mindfulness suggests that when we notice the current, we step back, observe it, and
decide what’s next, instead of reacting like perhaps we always have. In short, mindfulness allows us to
awaken from the autopilot and take back control of our lives.

If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and observe your body’s
sensations, and making intentional choices from that space, the mindfulness approach we specialize in
at The Mindfulness Center may be the perfect way to free yourself from the stress and anxiety trap.
Don’t worry, you don’t need a yoga studio membership, extra time in your day, or even a clear mind to
practice mindfulness. We’ll teach you how to do it in the everyday moments of your life, whether at
your desk at work or while driving a carful of kids home from school. And don’t forget to check out our
next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your toolbox: the internal family systems approach
to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

 

Therapist Kim Hamilton’s Journey to Therapy & Self Discovery

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Kim Hamilton’s Journey to Therapy and Self-Discovery 

Therapy is often seen as a tool for individuals seeking support and guidance in navigating their personal challenges and mental health issues. However, it is important to recognize that therapists themselves can also benefit greatly from therapy. Just like any other individual, therapists are not immune to the struggles and complexities of life, and they too may require professional help to navigate their own personal and emotional journeys.

In the transcript provided from Shifting Our Shit Podcast Season 2, Episode 4 (Part 2), therapist Kim Hamilton discusses her own experience with therapy and how it has positively impacted her life. She acknowledges that therapists, just like their clients, can face anxiety and perfectionism, which can affect their relationships and overall well-being. Seeking therapy allowed her to gain a deeper understanding of herself and her own struggles, and ultimately led to personal growth and improved relationships.

One of the key takeaways from Kim’s experience is the importance of self-awareness. Therapists, by nature of their profession, are trained to be empathetic, supportive, and objective listeners. However, it is crucial for therapists to also have a space where they can be vulnerable, explore their own emotions, and gain insight into their own thoughts and behaviors. Therapy provides this safe and non-judgmental space for therapists to reflect on their own experiences and gain a better understanding of themselves.

Additionally, therapy helps therapists maintain their own mental and emotional well-being. The demands of the therapeutic profession can be emotionally draining, as therapists often hear and witness their clients’ pain and struggles. Without proper self-care and support, therapists can experience burnout and compassion fatigue. Engaging in therapy allows therapists to process their own emotions and experiences, preventing the accumulation of emotional baggage that can hinder their ability to effectively support their clients.

Through their own therapy, therapists gain a firsthand understanding of the vulnerability and courage required to engage in the therapeutic process. This personal experience enhances their ability to create a safe and empathetic space for their clients, fostering trust and facilitating deeper therapeutic connections.

Therapists benefit greatly from therapy. Just like any other individual, therapists face their own challenges and emotional struggles. Engaging in therapy allows therapists to gain self-awareness, maintain their mental and emotional well-being, and enhance their ability to empathize with and support their clients. By recognizing the importance of therapy for therapists, we can promote a culture of self-care and continuous growth within the therapeutic profession.

Release negative energy, embrace positive.

In the podcast transcript, the speaker discusses the concept of releasing negative energy and embracing positive energy. This idea is explored through various therapeutic approaches, including talk therapy and alternative practices like Reiki. The speaker emphasizes the importance of addressing not only the mind but also the body when it comes to releasing negative energy and promoting overall well-being.

Megan and Kim acknowledge that talking about one’s struggles can be helpful, but it may not be enough to release deeply held emotions and negative energy. They explain that our bodies hold onto these emotions and can manifest physical symptoms, such as tightness in the chest for individuals with anxiety. This understanding highlights the mind-body connection and the need to address both aspects in therapy.

One approach mentioned in the podcast is Reiki, which is a form of energy healing. The speaker explains that Reiki helps release negative energies and brings in positive energies to promote healing and balance. It is described as a way to release negative energy and replace it with positive energy, promoting overall well-being.

Kim mentions the importance of understanding the different energy centers in the body, known as chakras. She shares a personal experience of focusing on their throat chakra and researching how to open it. By exploring the concept of chakras and understanding how a closed chakra can affect an individual, they gained insight into how energy can impact different areas of the body.

Kim highlights the importance of releasing negative energy and embracing positive energy for emotional well-being. Therapeutic approaches like talk therapy and alternative practices like Reiki can help individuals address their emotional struggles and promote healing. By exploring the mind-body connection and understanding the impact of energy on the body, individuals can work towards releasing negative energy and embracing positivity. This understanding can be beneficial not only for individuals seeking therapy but also for therapists themselves, as they can gain self-awareness and maintain their mental and emotional well-being. Ultimately, by recognizing the significance of releasing negative energy and embracing positive energy, individuals can promote a culture of self-care and continuous growth within the therapeutic profession.

Importance of self-awareness and growth.

Self-awareness and growth are crucial aspects of personal development and emotional well-being. This podcast transcript highlights the importance of self-awareness and growth in the context of therapy and alternative healing practices.

Kim mentions that she was in a situation where they needed to stand up for themselves and speak up, rather than staying quiet. This demonstrates the importance of self-awareness in recognizing one’s needs and boundaries. By being self-aware, individuals can identify areas in their lives where they need to assert themselves and make positive changes.

Megan and Kim also discusses the benefits of alternative healing practices like acupuncture and Reiki. These practices focus on the mind-body connection and the flow of energy within the body. By understanding how emotions and energies can affect the body, individuals can work towards releasing negative energy and promoting healing. This requires self-awareness to recognize and address emotions and energies that may be causing distress or imbalance.

The podcast also touches on the concept of past lives and the idea that there may be unresolved emotions or energies from previous lifetimes. While the host expresses skepticism, they also acknowledge the possibility of gaining more information and self-awareness through exploring this concept. This highlights the importance of being open-minded and willing to explore new ideas and perspectives in order to foster personal growth.

Kim mentions her therapist, who they have been seeing for a long time and trust implicitly. This demonstrates the importance of a strong therapeutic relationship and the role of the therapist in guiding individuals towards self-awareness and growth. The therapist’s guidance and support can help individuals navigate their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

She emphasizes the significance of self-awareness and growth in therapy and alternative healing practices. By being self-aware, individuals can identify areas in their lives where they need to make positive changes and assert themselves. Through therapy and alternative practices, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their emotions, energies, and past experiences, leading to healing and personal growth. The role of the therapist is crucial in guiding individuals towards self-awareness and facilitating their growth. Ultimately, self-awareness and growth contribute to emotional well-being and the development of a harmonious and fulfilling life.

Trusting the process is key.

One of the main themes discussed in the podcast is the importance of trusting the process. The hosts and guest speaker highlight that healing and personal growth are not instantaneous or easy. It takes time and patience to work through challenges and make positive changes in one’s life. This is especially true in therapy and alternative healing practices.

The guest speaker mentions that things often get worse before they get better. This is a common experience for many individuals who embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing. It can be uncomfortable and even painful to confront deep-rooted issues and emotions. However, by trusting the process and staying committed to the journey, individuals can ultimately experience growth and transformation.

The hosts also discuss the idea of being a “miracle worker” and how it is unrealistic to expect immediate results or a quick fix. They acknowledge that therapy and alternative practices are not about magically solving all problems overnight. Instead, they emphasize the importance of embracing the process and recognizing that healing takes time and effort.

Trusting the process also involves being patient with oneself. The guest speaker mentions the importance of being okay with the fact that progress may not always be linear. There may be setbacks and moments where it feels like nothing is improving. However, by staying patient and continuing to work through challenges, individuals can eventually see positive changes in their lives.

The concept of the miracle question is also mentioned in the podcast. This question encourages individuals to imagine what their life would look like if all their problems were miraculously solved. While this exercise can be helpful in identifying goals and aspirations, it also highlights the fact that real change takes time and effort. It is not about wishing for a quick fix, but rather about actively working towards creating a better future.

Kim emphasizes that trusting the process is key in therapy and alternative healing practices. It is about recognizing that healing and personal growth are not immediate or easy. It takes time, patience, and commitment to work through challenges and make positive changes. By embracing the process and staying patient, individuals can ultimately experience healing, growth, and a more fulfilling life.

Kim, Hamilton, Kim hamilton, child psychologist

Meet Teen & Parenting Expert, Kim Hamilton, MAMFT

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Midlife shift, becoming a therapist.

Sometimes we need to make a shift in our lives. That is exactly what Kim Hamilton did. 

In her mid-30s, she found herself at a crossroads in her life. She had been working as an accountant for several years, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. She had accomplished what she had set out to do in her career, but she didn’t feel fulfilled. She began to question if this was truly what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

During this time of introspection, she started to reassess her priorities and what truly brought her joy. She realized that she had always been drawn to helping others and had a natural inclination for listening and providing support. She had always been the go-to person for her friends and family when they needed someone to talk to, and she found deep satisfaction in being there for them.

It was during this period of self-reflection that she stumbled upon the field of therapy. Kim was immediately captivated by the idea of helping people navigate their challenges and find healing and growth. The more she learned about therapy, the more she felt a deep resonance with the principles and values that guided it.

Kim says, “I made the decision to pursue a career in therapy, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I went back to school and obtained my master’s degree in counseling psychology. The journey was not always easy, but every step of the way, I felt a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had never experienced before.”

Becoming a therapist has allowed her to combine her natural inclination for empathy and support with the knowledge and skills she has gained through her education and training. It has given Kim the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others, and she is grateful for every client she has had the privilege of working with.

One of the things she loves most about being a therapist is the opportunity for growth and learning. Every client she works with brings a unique set of experiences and challenges, and she is constantly challenged to expand her knowledge and skills to meet their needs. It is a profession that keeps her on my toes and pushes her to continually evolve and improve.

In addition to the fulfillment she finds in her work, being a therapist has also brought a sense of personal growth and healing to her own life. Through her training and practice, she has gained a deeper understanding of herself and her own patterns and has learned valuable tools for self-care and self-reflection. It has been a transformative journey that has enriched every aspect of her life.

As she reflects on her midlife shift to becoming a therapist, she is grateful for the courage she had to listen to her inner voice and follow her passion. It was a leap of faith, but one that has brought immense joy and fulfillment. She is excited to continue this journey and help others find their own path to healing and growth.

Family harmony through therapy.

Kim shares her personal journey of finding her purpose and passion in becoming a therapist. She explains that she always knew she wanted to help people in some way, but it took time and exploration to discover the right path for her. She tried different career paths, such as accounting and nursing, but none of them felt fulfilling or aligned with her true calling.

It was through personal experiences and therapy that she realized the profound impact that our environments and relationships have on our lives. She became fascinated by how these factors shape who we are and the choices we make. This realization sparked her interest in therapy and led her to pursue a career in the field.

As a mother, she wanted to teach her children how to communicate their feelings and needs effectively, rather than bottling them up. She recognized the value of healthy relationships and setting boundaries, which she felt she lacked in her own family of origin. This desire to provide her children with the tools for healthy emotional expression and relationships further fueled her passion for becoming a therapist.

Kim specializes in working with families, couples, and children. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the dynamics of the entire family system, rather than focusing solely on the identified client. She explains that families are interconnected systems, and addressing the issues of one individual often requires addressing the underlying dynamics within the family as a whole.

Her approach to family therapy is grounded in systems theory, which recognizes that individuals are influenced by and influence their family system. For example, a child’s anger or temper tantrums may not be isolated incidents, but rather symptoms of larger issues within the family dynamic.

Therapy is a process of growth.

Kim knows that there is often more to a person’s behavior than meets the eye, and that therapy can help uncover the underlying factors contributing to challenges within a family.

Kim is a therapist at the Mindfulness Center, and acknowledges that therapy is not about pathologizing individuals, but rather about seeing the puzzle pieces of a family and how they fit together. She stresses the importance of considering factors such as what is happening between parents, with siblings, and at school, in order to gain a comprehensive understanding of the dynamics at play. By doing so, therapy can help identify areas where adjustments can be made to promote family harmony.

One of the key points is that therapy is not a quick fix or a one-time solution. It is a process that takes time and effort from both the therapist and the individuals involved. Kim emphasizes that therapy requires unlearning certain behaviors and beliefs that may have been ingrained over many years. This process allows individuals and families to develop new ways of relating to one another and moving forward in a healthier and more positive manner.

She also touches on the importance of understanding developmental stages and age-appropriate behaviors. Kim highlights that it is normal for children to have big feelings and tantrums, and that it is the role of parents to provide them with tools to navigate these emotions. Therapy can help parents understand and respond to their children’s emotions in a way that fosters growth and development, rather than causing further conflict within the family.

Therapy is not limited to individuals with diagnosed mental health conditions. Anxiety and ADHD are examples of real challenges that individuals and families may face, but the focus is on providing tools to manage these challenges as a whole. Therapy can offer support and guidance to parents in supporting their children through anxiety or overwhelm, and can help families function more smoothly as a unit.

If you are interested in hearing more about how therapy can help your family, or more of Kim’s story make sure to listen to this episode of the shift your shit podcast! 

 

LISTEN HERE!

Ashley Vaden Shares Her Experience With Getting Therapy

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Therapy helps with personal growth.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 2) of Shifting Our Shit Podcast, we discuss the idea that therapy is a powerful tool that can aid in personal growth and development. It provides individuals with the opportunity to explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Through therapy, individuals can gain insight into themselves, understand their patterns of behavior, and make positive changes in their lives.

One of the key benefits of therapy is the ability to gain self-awareness. Many people go through life on autopilot, not fully understanding why they think, feel, or act the way they do. Therapy allows individuals to delve deeper into their thoughts and emotions, uncovering underlying beliefs and motivations. This self-awareness is essential for personal growth, as it provides a foundation for making meaningful changes in one’s life.

In therapy, individuals can also learn valuable coping skills and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Therapists can teach techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals navigate difficult emotions and challenging situations. By learning and practicing these skills, individuals can develop resilience and improve their overall well-being.

Therapy provides a space for individuals to process and heal from past traumas or unresolved issues. Many people carry emotional baggage from their past that affects their present lives. Therapy offers a safe and non-judgmental environment to explore and address these issues. Through techniques like talk therapy, art therapy, or experiential therapy, individuals can work through their emotions and find healing and closure.

Another significant aspect of therapy is the opportunity for personal growth in relationships. Therapy can help individuals develop better communication skills, establish healthy boundaries, and navigate conflicts effectively. By understanding their own needs and emotions, individuals can improve their relationships with others, whether it be with romantic partners, family members, or friends.

Therapy also promotes self-acceptance and self-compassion. Many individuals struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, constantly comparing themselves to others or feeling inadequate. Through therapy, individuals can challenge negative self-talk, develop a more positive self-image, and cultivate self-compassion. This newfound self-acceptance allows individuals to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, leading to increased self-confidence and personal growth.

Emotions stem from unmet needs.

The statement “Emotions stem from unmet needs” is a powerful and insightful concept that can greatly impact our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. This idea suggests that our emotions are not random or arbitrary, but rather, they are a response to our unmet needs.

When we experience emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear, it is often because there is something within us that is not being fulfilled. These unmet needs can be physical, emotional, or psychological in nature. For example, if we feel angry, it may be because our need for respect or fairness is not being met. If we feel sad, it may be because our need for connection or love is not being fulfilled. And if we feel fearful, it may be because our need for safety or security is not being addressed.

Understanding that our emotions stem from unmet needs can be a transformative realization. It allows us to shift our focus from simply reacting to our emotions to exploring the underlying needs that are driving them. By identifying and addressing these needs, we can begin to find healthier and more constructive ways to meet them.

This concept also highlights the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. When we recognize that our emotions are a signal that something is lacking in our lives, we can approach ourselves with kindness and understanding. Instead of judging or criticizing ourselves for feeling a certain way, we can acknowledge our emotions as valid and explore what they are trying to tell us about our needs.

In addition, this concept aligns with the principles of nonviolent communication, which emphasizes taking responsibility for our own feelings and needs. By recognizing that our emotions stem from unmet needs, we can communicate our needs more effectively and compassionately to others. This can lead to greater understanding, connection, and resolution in our relationships.

Overall, the idea that emotions stem from unmet needs is a powerful concept that can greatly enhance our self-awareness, personal growth, and relationships. By recognizing and addressing our needs, we can find healthier and more fulfilling ways to meet them. This understanding also allows us to approach ourselves and others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding. Ultimately, it can lead to greater fulfillment, happiness, and harmony in our lives.

Eliminate unnecessary suffering, self-compassion.

In the podcast, Ashley discusses the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion. She emphasizes that while there may be unavoidable suffering in life, much of the suffering we experience is self-inflicted through shame, guilt, and self-judgment. Her purpose in therapy is to help individuals validate their feelings and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them in avoiding further self-inflicted suffering.

The idea of unnecessary suffering stems from the belief that when we struggle with anxiety or depression, we often add an element of shame and self-judgment to our experiences. This self-inflicted suffering arises from the way we relate to ourselves and others. Ashley’s goal is to help individuals acknowledge their suffering and validate their emotions, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Overall, the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion is a powerful one. It encourages individuals to validate their emotions and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others. By addressing our needs and treating ourselves with kindness and empathy, we can break free from self-inflicted suffering and find greater fulfillment and happiness in our lives. This understanding also allows us to approach others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding, leading to more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.

 

Make sure to listen to Season 2 Episode 3 (Part 2) to hear our interview with Ashley Vaden! 

 

Ashley, vaden, therapist, couples, louisville

Meet Mindfulness & IFS Guru Ashley Vaden, LMFT

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Reassessing midlife for more fulfillment.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 1) Megan discusses the common experience of feeling stuck or unfulfilled in her midlife journey. She acknowledges the feeling of being a hamster on a hamster wheel, going through the motions without making progress or finding joy. This sentiment resonates with many individuals who reach a point in their lives where they question if they have accomplished all they set out to do and if there is more to life.

Midlife is a natural time for reflection and reassessment. It is a period where individuals evaluate what is working for them and what is not. This introspection is normal and can lead to personal growth and positive change. Megan encourages listeners to reclaim their time, energy, and joy in order to make the most of the second half of their lives.

Ashley Vaden, shares her personal experience and perspective. She talks about growing up in Frankfurt, Kentucky, and the culture shock she experienced when moving to Shelby County. Despite the challenges, she used this time to focus on her studies and develop a love for learning. Ashley expresses her desire to be a lifelong student and emphasizes the importance of continuous growth and curiosity.

Ashley’s journey led her to study psychology in college, driven by her own positive experience with therapy in high school. This decision reflects her desire to understand human behavior and help others. Megan commends Ashley for her work as an office therapist at the Mindfulness Center and highlights her contributions to mindfulness classes.

There is great significance in reassessing midlife for more fulfillment. It encourages individuals to take stock of their lives, identify areas that need improvement, and seek out new experiences that bring joy and peace. By acknowledging the need for change and actively pursuing personal growth, individuals can find greater fulfillment and happiness in the second half of their lives.

Reassessing midlife is not about regret or feeling like time has been wasted. Instead, it is an opportunity to realign priorities, set new goals, and make conscious choices that align with one’s values and passions. It is about finding the courage to make changes and explore new possibilities.

This is a reminder that it is never too late to reassess and make positive changes. Megan encourages listeners to embrace the second half of their lives with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and a commitment to personal growth.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy are crucial aspects that can greatly impact both the therapist and the client. 

Flexibility allows therapists to adapt their approach and techniques to meet the unique needs of each client. Ashley had initially considered pursuing a career in fashion or moving to New York. However, due to financial responsibilities and student loans, she decided to utilize her psychology degree and work as a therapist. This decision demonstrates the flexibility she had to make in order to support her son and pay off her debts. By being open to different possibilities and adapting to the circumstances, she was able to find a job that aligned with her skills and interests.

Furthermore, flexibility in therapy allows therapists to be responsive to the changing needs and goals of their clients. Ashley initially did not want to work with children but found herself working with them in her first job. However, she discovered a love for working with kids and found it to be a profound and life-changing experience. This demonstrates how being open to new experiences and adapting to different client populations can lead to unexpected growth and fulfillment in therapy.

In addition to flexibility, freedom in therapy is also crucial.She mentioned that she decided to transition to a different job after five years of working in a high-intensity setting. She desired more flexibility and freedom to be with her child. This highlights the importance of work-life balance and the need for therapists to prioritize their own well-being and personal lives. By seeking out a job that provides more flexibility, therapists can create a healthier and more fulfilling work environment for themselves.

Freedom in therapy allows clients to feel empowered and in control of their own healing journey. Ashley mentioned how she appreciated having someone tell her what to do when she was feeling burnt out in grad school. By providing clients with the freedom to make choices and take ownership of their healing process, therapists can empower them to overcome challenges and achieve their goals.

Internal Family Systems empowers change.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic modality that empowers individuals to create change from within. It recognizes that within each person, there are multiple parts that make up their internal system. These parts can be seen as different aspects of the individual’s personality, each with its own unique characteristics and motivations. The goal of IFS is to help individuals understand and connect with these parts, and ultimately, to find harmony and balance within themselves.

In this episode, Megan talks about the transformative power of IFS in the lives of both therapists and clients. Ashley shares her experience of transitioning from working in an agency to starting her own private practice. Initially, she felt afraid and uncertain about this change, but when she shared her decision with her boss, he expressed his support and decided to join her in this new venture. This moment of validation and support brought a sense of relief and confirmation that she was on the right path. It highlights how IFS can provide individuals with the courage and confidence to make significant life changes.

Internal Family Systems empowers change by providing individuals with the tools and understanding to explore and connect with their internal selves It encourages flexibility, adaptability, and self-compassion, allowing individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives. 

If you are interested in learning more about Internal Family Systems and therapy, make sure to check out this interview with Ashley on the shift your shit podcast! 

 

Tools for your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: CBT Exercises

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Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap

by Jennifer Komis, LMFT

Do you know that your body knows you are anxious before you are conscious of anxiety? Your body
reacts to stress triggers rapidly, creating a tightening in your chest, tension across your forehead, or
maybe a dry mouth or upset stomach. Because the mind and body are inextricably linked like this,
therapists can treat anxiety and stress in multiple ways: we can provide interventions to help calm the
mind AND we can collaborate with you to help calm the body. This is good news, as you have MANY
options of treatment that can help you find your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!
If you prefer to examine how your thoughts impact your behaviors, cognitive behavioral therapy may be
a good fit for you. If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and
observe your body’s sensations, a mindfulness approach may be most helpful. If identifying the inner
parts of yourself that feel anxious and working to calm them sounds appealing, internal family systems
could be just your thing. And if learning breathing techniques and physical relaxation exercises floats
your boat, therapy that focuses first on the body could be perfect for you.
At the Louisville Mindfulness Center, we are well-versed in all these approaches to treating stress and
anxiety. We consider it a privilege to get to know you personally and determine which approach (or
approaches) feels like the right fit for you. In this blog series, we’ll give you a preview of these
techniques and show you how to alleviate anxiety through each approach. Today’s focus? The cognitive
behavioral approach!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you uncover the core thoughts leading you to feel anxious and helps you become aware of
how those thoughts may be driving your actions. Check out an example:

 Stressful event: I got frustrated and raised my voice to my child today.
 What are the resulting thoughts that maintain my stress or anxiety? (e.g., I’m not a good mom.)
 What feelings do these thoughts lead me to have? (e.g., sadness, hopelessness, apathy)
 What behaviors do these thoughts lead me to do? (e.g., give up on tasks, crash on couch, avoid
to-do list)

CBT offers hope because it reminds us that if you change your thoughts, you change your actions! So, in
therapy, we work on reframing the core thoughts that are keeping you stuck and replacing them with
thoughts that bring you more freedom and the actions you desire. For example:

 Old thought: I’m not a good mom.
 New thought: I’m normal because most (if not all) parents struggle with frustration with their
children. I shouldn’t beat myself up. I also did a lot of things well today as a parent.
 New feelings: accepted, calm, motivated
 New behaviors: takes a break for self-care and reflection, calls friend to process stress, moves on
with the day’s tasks

Your turn! What’s a reoccurring thought that may be keeping you stuck? Can you challenge it? Think
about it another way? Give it a try and see how changing your thoughts can cause a positive ripple effect
throughout your day. Then, check out our next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your
toolbox: the mindfulness approach to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

 

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