All relationships – especially our romantic ones – experience conflict from time to time.  Sometimes issues are easily worked through, and sometimes it takes an objective, third-party to help you understand what’s really going on and how to get through it.  

Oftentimes the issues in a r​elationship are perpetual issues – they’re never going away.  Instead, you and your partner have to figure out how to best manage these perpetual issues in a way that works for both of you – how to dance the dance that works for your relationship.  If the dance you have been dancing doesn’t work anymore, it’s time to find a new dance.

Sometimes the issues we face in relationships are a result of stored-up irritability, frustration, and anger that we ultimately become resentful about.  Relief and true connection can take place when both parties share their grievances, the origins of the grievances are better understood, and a new plan is put in place to manage these patterns of behavior when they begin to pop up again.

Oftentimes when people point the finger at their partner or spouse, wanting them to do something different, it’s the perfect platform for learning more about yourself.  Why are you frustrated with the other’s behavior? What is that behavior bringing up for you? Does it remind you of something your mother, father, or sibling said or did when you were growing up? Grievances about another person is the perfect opportunity for exploring yourself and gaining deeper self-awareness.

Are you looking to End Your Relationship Well? Sometimes a person come to therapy already having made up their mind that it is time to end their relationship and they want to do that well. While we can’t determine how the other person will receive the information we offer them when ending a relationship, we can control our own non-verbal communication to help that difficult conversation can go as well as possible.

And let’s not forget all that is good in our relationships.  Sometimes we focus solely on the negative aspects of our relationships because they hurt the most or make the most “noise”.  What you feed, grows. When we shift our focus and start listing all the good things, we can put the not-so-good things into a better perspective.

As a couples therapist, Bridgette Allen, LMFT finds in our busy and overwhelming world, we often run on autopilot and go about life in a numb and mindless manner. We hold on to secrets and hidden stories we tell ourselves, keeping us trapped by the lies our mind tells us. In order to survive, we find unhealthy ways to feel alive, soothe stress, or ignore emotional pain. We become easily consumed by anxiety, anger, an affair, depression, distraction, and addictions. Without awareness, old patterns of reacting blind us from seeing our present reality, and keep us stuck in destructive cycles that hinder achievement and deeply wound relationships. Somehow along the way we simply stop living and forget that we get to play a proactive role in our lives.

Bridgette assists and encourages clients to accept where they are and see their strengths and possibilities. She helps them hear what they are saying. and explore new ways of showing up in their relationship with self and others. Her work includes clients struggling with self-doubt and inadequacy (not good enough), anxiety, life transitions, loneliness, and complex relationship issues.

Rob Giltner, LMFT works with couples to heal:

• Communication
• Trust
• Infidelity Recovery
• Closeness and Intimacy
• Conflict

He focuses on attachment and emotional connection within relationships, along with mindfulness-based approaches. Communication is the key the starts the engine of healing, connection, and rebuilding trust. Couples will receive a unique plan for their treatment and will receive concrete materials that they can leave each session with.  In session, Rob’s clients work together with their partner in a safe, engaging, and fun environment. His clients develop a deeper connection with their partner and healthy communication that builds resistance to future issues that may arise.