Or in other words, what we give our attention to, is what we see. If we are always focusing on the negative aspects of our relationships or lives, that is what we will see. If we start focusing on the positive aspects of our relationships and lives, that is what we will see.
When you start thinking about a topic in a new way you are forging new neural pathways. It’s difficult because your brain is not yet used to thinking about things in this new way. After a few weeks of repeatedly thinking this new way, the neural pathways get stronger and stronger. The former neural pathway becomes weaker and weaker.
I like to use the analogy of a hiking path. The way you have always thought about something (neurologically) is like a well kept hiking path, free of debris and well manicured. The new way of thinking about something is the hiking path that you need to forge yourself, getting scratched and dirty along the way. After weeks of hiking the new path you notice you’re not getting scratched as much and there is a visible path. When you look over at the other previously well manicured path you notice it’s starting to look shabby and overgrown.
Life is an adventure. Change doesn’t come without some discomfort. Stick with it! It will pay off in the long run.