boundaries, self awareness, self, selfish

How Self-Awareness Plays a Role with Boundaries

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The Importance of Self-Awareness for Boundaries

 

Self-awareness plays a crucial role in establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for maintaining our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They define the limits and expectations we have for ourselves and others in various aspects of our lives, such as relationships, work, and personal space. Without self-awareness, it becomes challenging to recognize our own needs, desires, and limits, making it difficult to establish and enforce boundaries effectively.

 

Self-awareness involves having a clear understanding of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It requires introspection and reflection to gain insight into our values, beliefs, and personal boundaries. When we are self-aware, we can identify when our boundaries are being crossed, and we can take appropriate action to protect ourselves.

 

Here are a few reasons why self-awareness is crucial for setting and maintaining boundaries:

 

  1. Understanding Personal Values and Needs: Self-awareness helps us identify our core values and needs. When we know what is important to us, we can set boundaries that align with these values. For example, if honesty is a core value, we can establish boundaries that prevent others from lying to us or expecting us to lie for them.

 

  1. Recognizing Emotional and Physical Limits: Self-awareness allows us to recognize our emotional and physical limits. We can identify when we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or exhausted, and set boundaries that protect our well-being. This may involve saying no to additional responsibilities, taking breaks when needed, or asking for support when necessary.

 

  1. Communicating Boundaries Effectively: Self-awareness enables us to communicate our boundaries effectively. When we understand our own needs and limits, we can clearly express them to others. This helps prevent misunderstandings and allows for open and honest communication in relationships.

 

  1. Respecting Others’ Boundaries: Self-awareness not only helps us establish our own boundaries but also enables us to respect the boundaries of others. When we are aware of our own boundaries, we are more likely to recognize and honor the boundaries set by others. This promotes healthy and respectful relationships.

 

  1. Building Self-Confidence: Self-awareness contributes to building self-confidence. When we have a clear understanding of our values, needs, and limits, we feel more confident in asserting ourselves and setting boundaries. This confidence allows us to prioritize our well-being and advocate for ourselves effectively.

 

Psychoeducation is not therapy, but it is an important aspect of therapy that provides educational information and tools for individuals to learn and understand themselves better. Therapy, on the other hand, delves deeper into the underlying reasons for our emotions and behaviors, exploring past experiences and their impact on our current triggers and reactions.

 

The podcast transcript highlights the distinction between psychoeducation and therapy. The hosts emphasize that they are not therapists and that the information they provide is not a substitute for therapy. Instead, their goal is to offer listeners an opportunity to learn new vocabulary and gain a better understanding of how they interact in the world and in their relationships.

 

Psychoeducation focuses on providing education about emotions, self-awareness, and communication dynamics. It offers insights into different theories and therapeutic techniques that can be helpful in understanding oneself and others. It may provide metaphors, tidbits, and ideas to consider, but it is not a substitute for the personalized and specific guidance that therapy provides.

 

Therapy, on the other hand, goes beyond psychoeducation. It involves delving deeper into the individual’s unique experiences and exploring the root causes of their emotions and reactions. Therapy aims to help individuals understand why they feel the way they do and how their early childhood experiences may be linked to their current triggers. It is a space for individuals to explore their own situations and work towards finding ways to stop becoming reactive in certain situations or with certain people.

 

Take control of your feelings.

Taking control of our feelings is crucial for our overall well-being and personal growth.we discuss the importance of understanding our emotions and how they impact our behavior. They explain that our prefrontal cortex is responsible for language and understanding, allowing us to connect our feelings to descriptive words and reasons behind them.

 

When we are stuck in the feeling part of our brain, we may struggle to express our emotions or understand why we are feeling a certain way. This is because the more primitive section of our brain, which develops early on, lacks the ability to use words to describe our emotions. This is why it is important to use feeling words with children to improve their vocabulary and emotional intelligence.

 

However, we also acknowledge that many adults may not have received this kind of emotional education in their childhood. As a result, they may struggle to regulate their own emotions and find it challenging to model healthy emotional expression for their children. We suggest that it is never too late to learn and improve in this area, and encourage adults to go back to the drawing board and develop their emotional vocabulary.

 

Control emotions, choose thoughtful response.

We discuss the importance of controlling our emotions and choosing thoughtful responses in various situations. We emphasize the need to claim our emotions and acknowledge that it is okay to feel upset when someone’s behavior upsets us. However, we also highlight the importance of not reacting impulsively but instead responding in a more controlled and thoughtful manner.

 

While it is crucial to react quickly in certain situations, such as avoiding a car accident, it is more beneficial to respond in situations involving loved ones and friends. Responding implies being in control of our emotions and thoughts, considering the best outcome for the situation, and acting accordingly.

 

Responding instead of reacting requires being in control of our emotions and feelings, as well as thinking through the situation. This distinction is significant because it allows us to approach the situation with a level-headed mindset and consider the consequences of our actions. By doing so, we can make more informed decisions and choose responses that are beneficial for all parties involved.

 

curious, curiosity, boundaries, self, care

Stay Curious!

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Curiosity fosters understanding and connection.

Curiosity fosters understanding and connection. Elizabeth McCormack and Meganl, delve into the importance of curiosity in relationships and how it can lead to a deeper understanding of others.

Curiosity is a mindset that allows individuals to approach situations with a neutral to positive mindset. It is a place of open-mindedness and wonder, where one is not trying to control or change the thoughts of others. Instead, curiosity encourages individuals to seek understanding and learn from different perspectives.

Megan emphasizes that curiosity can be particularly beneficial in situations of miscommunication or conflict. By approaching these situations with curiosity, individuals can avoid reactive responses and instead respond in a more helpful manner. They can acknowledge the emotions or thoughts of the other person without feeling the need to change them. This creates a space for open dialogue and fosters a sense of connection.

Curiosity is present during the holiday season, a time when family gatherings and social events can bring about uncomfortable conversations or disagreements. Megan and Elizabeth encourage listeners to approach these situations with curiosity, rather than trying to change or convince others of their own opinions. By listening and being open to different perspectives, individuals can maintain a sense of connection and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

She also discusses the importance of boundaries in fostering curiosity. She explains that setting boundaries allows individuals to protect their time and energy. If someone does not feel emotionally secure in a relationship, they can limit their time and energy spent with that person. By setting boundaries, individuals can create a safe space for curiosity to thrive and promote understanding and connection.

Curiosity fosters understanding and connection by allowing individuals to approach situations with an open mind and a desire to learn from others. It encourages active listening and creates a safe space for dialogue, even in situations of disagreement. By setting boundaries, individuals can protect their emotional well-being and create an environment where curiosity can flourish. Ultimately, curiosity is a powerful tool that can lead to deeper connections and a greater understanding of others.

Setting boundaries is self-care.

Setting boundaries is an essential aspect of self-care. We know the importance of establishing limits in relationships to protect one’s emotional well-being and maintain a sense of comfort and safety.

Megan and Elizabeth discuss the concept of emotional trust, which involves trusting others to regulate their emotions in a way that is predictable and comfortable for us. When we trust someone emotionally, we know what to expect from them, and this predictability creates a sense of safety. On the other hand, if someone has a history of unpredictable emotional behavior, it becomes more challenging to trust them, and we may need to be more cautious and expend more energy in our interactions with them.

It is crucial to recognize that setting boundaries is our responsibility, not the responsibility of others. Boundaries are not meant to manage or control the behavior of others but to protect our own well-being. It is up to us to follow through with the boundaries we set and communicate our needs and limits clearly.

There are different types of boundaries. For instance, it may involve setting a time limit for social engagements and being firm in leaving when that time is up, even if others try to persuade us to stay longer. It could also involve establishing a boundary for ourselves in response to a family member who tends to shout during conversations, such as leaving the room when the shouting begins.

By setting and maintaining our boundaries, we prioritize our own needs and energy levels. This allows us to avoid becoming people-pleasers or sacrificing our well-being for the sake of others’ comfort. It is essential to remember that our needs are our responsibility, and we can challenge ourselves to not let the needs of others overshadow our own.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-care. It involves recognizing and communicating our needs, limits, and comfort levels in relationships. By establishing and maintaining boundaries, we protect our emotional well-being and create a space where we can prioritize ourselves. It is crucial to remember that boundaries are not about controlling others but about taking care of ourselves. Through setting boundaries, we can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

 

Click HERE to listen to this episode!

Find out more about Elizabeth HERE!

 

Boundaries are Essential for Self-Care

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Boundaries are essential for self-care

Boundaries are essential for self-care. This is a statement that holds true in all aspects of our lives, whether it be in our personal relationships, work environments, or even within ourselves. Boundaries are the limits and guidelines we set for ourselves and others to ensure that our needs, values, and well-being are respected and protected.
Megan Bayless-Bartley, introduces the topic of boundaries by addressing the feeling of being stuck or unfulfilled in life. She acknowledges that it is normal to reassess what is working and what is not at midlife. This is an important realization because it highlights the need for boundaries as a means to reclaim our time, energy, and joy.
Elizabeth McCormick, a boundaries expert, emphasizes the importance of boundaries by stating that it is what she does all day. She further explains that boundaries require both offense and defense, just like in the game Sequence. This analogy highlights the proactive and protective nature of boundaries. They are not just about setting limits, but also about preventing others from crossing them.
Megan and Elizabeth also touch on the challenges of maintaining boundaries, especially during the holiday season. This is a time when we may be required to spend time and energy around people or in situations that may test our boundaries. It is crucial to have clear boundaries in place to protect our mental and emotional well-being.
The comparison between boundaries and the game of Jenga further reinforces the idea that boundaries require delicacy and balance. Just like removing blocks in Jenga, setting and maintaining boundaries requires careful consideration and thoughtfulness. It is about finding the right balance between asserting ourselves and respecting the needs and boundaries of others.
Boundaries are not selfish or restrictive; they are a form of self-care. They allow us to prioritize our own well-being and ensure that we are not constantly sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others. By setting boundaries, we create a space for self-care, self-respect, and personal growth. We give ourselves permission to say no when necessary, to protect our time and energy, and to establish healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Setting boundaries is self-protection

Setting boundaries is self-protection. This holds true in various aspects of our lives, whether it be in our personal relationships, professional environments, or even within ourselves. Boundaries act as a safeguard, ensuring that we prioritize our own well-being and establish healthy boundaries with others.
Boundaries are described as limits or lines that mark the extent of an area or subject. However, boundaries extend beyond physical spaces and also encompass emotional boundaries. These emotional boundaries are crucial in understanding where we end and others begin in terms of our thoughts, feelings, and energy.
Megan uses the analogy of a yard to explain the concept of boundaries. Just as we have clear boundaries that define our physical space, we also need emotional boundaries to protect ourselves. These emotional boundaries allow us to have a sense of self-awareness and identify our own feelings. Without this self-awareness, we may find ourselves constantly influenced by the energy and emotions of others, leading to a lack of personal boundaries.
Setting boundaries is a form of self-protection. Boundaries serve as a means to establish what is acceptable and what is not for ourselves. By clearly defining our limits, we can create a space where we feel safe, respected, and valued. This self-protection extends to our emotional well-being, ensuring that we do not allow others to manipulate or exploit our emotions.
Setting boundaries is not only about protecting ourselves but also about fostering healthy relationships. When we have clear boundaries, we can communicate our needs, desires, and limits to others. This open communication allows for mutual understanding and respect, strengthening the foundation of any relationship. Boundaries also prevent us from overextending ourselves or sacrificing our own well-being for the sake of others.
In a society where we are often taught to prioritize the feelings and needs of others, setting boundaries can be seen as selfish or confrontational. However, Megan challenges this notion by highlighting that it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves. By prioritizing our own well-being and setting boundaries, we create space for growth, self-discovery, and personal fulfillment.

Self-awareness is key for communication

Self-awareness is key for communication. The ability to recognize and understand our own feelings and desires is essential for effective communication and building healthy relationships. In a world filled with constant sensory input and distractions, it is easy to lose touch with our own needs and emotions. However, by taking the time to check in with ourselves and ask what we need in each moment, we can better understand our own desires and communicate them effectively to others.
The concept of self-awareness is further explored through the idea of emotional boundaries. Megan and Elizabeth discuss how emotional boundaries involve assessing what we need in a given situation and how we will show up. This requires us to regulate ourselves based on our own needs and emotions, rather than being solely influenced by how others are showing up. By being aware of our own emotions and needs, we can navigate social situations more effectively and respond in a way that aligns with our own well-being.
They also touch on the importance of feeling identification and being able to articulate how we feel in different spaces. This level of self-awareness allows us to better understand ourselves and communicate our needs to others. It also enables us to have more productive and meaningful conversations, as we can express ourselves authentically and seek understanding from others.

Hold space for others’ feelings.

“Holding space for others’ feelings” is a concept that emphasizes the importance of creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for individuals to express their emotions and thoughts. It involves actively listening to others without interrupting or imposing our own opinions and judgments on them. This practice requires self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to regulate our own emotions.
They discuss the idea of observing and slowing down in order to hold space for others’ feelings. They emphasize the importance of mindfulness, which involves noticing and acknowledging our own emotions and reactions without attaching judgment to them. By practicing mindfulness, we can create a space where others feel heard and validated, allowing them to freely express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism.
One aspect of holding space for others’ feelings is co-regulation. This involves being a non-anxious presence and providing support to others in times of distress. Instead of trying to control or fix their emotions, we can simply be there for them, offering empathy and understanding. This approach is particularly effective with children, as it allows them to feel safe and supported, helping them to regulate their emotions more effectively.
Megan and Elizabeth also discuss the importance of curiosity in holding space for others’ feelings. By being curious, we can seek clarification and understanding, rather than jumping to conclusions or making assumptions. Curiosity allows us to approach conversations with an open mind, fostering deeper connections and reducing misunderstandings. It also encourages us to ask questions and actively listen, demonstrating our genuine interest in others’ experiences and perspectives.

 

Listen to Season 3, Episode 2 (Part 1) HERE!

More about Elizabeth McCormack HERE!

Jennifer Komis

Anxiety Expert Jennifer Komis Shares Her Therapy Journey

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Mindful living improves mental health.

Mindful living improves mental health. Jennifer discusses the impact of anxiety and chronic illness on the body. Jennifer shares her personal experience with Lyme disease and how it led her to adopt a more mindful approach to life.

Before being diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2018, Jennifer was constantly on the go, prioritizing productivity over rest and self-care. She rarely allowed her body to rest or heal, always pushing herself to do more. However, her experience with chronic illness taught her the importance of rest and self-care. She realized that her constant forward motion was contributing to her symptoms.

Jennifer emphasizes the significance of living mindfully to decrease anxiety and improve overall health. By adopting a more mindful approach, she now exercises less, eats healthier, and prioritizes sleep. Surprisingly, she finds that she is physically healthier despite doing less. This serves as a powerful reminder that taking care of your mental and emotional well-being can have a positive impact on your physical health.

Societal pressures contribute to stress and anxiety. The societal expectation to work out intensely, eat super healthy, and constantly push oneself is constantly having us on the go. There is great importance in finding moderation and not beating oneself up for indulging in treats or missing a workout. Optimal health and well-being don’t need to be solely focused on physical achievements but could also consider mental and emotional well-being.

She discusses how she was not believed by doctors and had to seek alternative treatments. She knows the challenges individuals with chronic illnesses face when searching for the right healthcare providers who will listen and provide appropriate treatment. Jennifer echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the need for support and validation from physicians and researchers.

They shed light on the importance of mindful living for mental health and emphasize the need to prioritize rest, self-care, and moderation in daily life. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can reduce anxiety and improve their overall well-being. 

Open-mindedness in healthcare choices.

One aspect of mindful living is the importance of being open-minded when it comes to healthcare choices. We discuss our own experiences with functional medicine and how we find it fascinating. There is a need for healthcare providers who have an open mind and are willing to explore different approaches to treatment.

Traditional medicine may sometimes have a narrow focus and may not always have all the answers. Looking for providers who are open to alternative practices and have had success with them can be beneficial for individuals dealing with chronic illness or anxiety.

There are various healthcare practitioners who have been found helpful, including therapists, massage therapists, energy healers, functional medicine doctors, and acupuncturists. There is also an importance of combining Eastern medicine with traditional medicine for a holistic approach to healing.

In their work at the Mindfulness Center, Megan and Jennifer focus on helping clients identify and make conscious their unconscious thoughts and assumptions. They encourage clients to sit with their energy in the present moment, rather than constantly driving it forward or backward. This approach allows individuals to be more restful and present in their lives, reducing anxiety and stress.

There are always choices.

Megan and Jennifer emphasize the idea that there are always choices available to individuals when it comes to their healthcare and overall well-being. They begin by discussing the importance of deciding which thoughts to hold onto and which ones no longer serve a person’s current phase of life. This suggests that individuals have the power to choose their thoughts and beliefs, and that they can actively let go of thoughts that are not beneficial to them.

They then discuss the concept of attachment to certain thoughts and the need to learn how to let go. They use the example of being 16 years old and needing to be faster for a state competition. At that age, it may be possible to achieve that goal, but as a person gets older, their capacity may change. 

Ashley Vaden Shares Her Experience With Getting Therapy

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Therapy helps with personal growth.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 2) of Shifting Our Shit Podcast, we discuss the idea that therapy is a powerful tool that can aid in personal growth and development. It provides individuals with the opportunity to explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Through therapy, individuals can gain insight into themselves, understand their patterns of behavior, and make positive changes in their lives.

One of the key benefits of therapy is the ability to gain self-awareness. Many people go through life on autopilot, not fully understanding why they think, feel, or act the way they do. Therapy allows individuals to delve deeper into their thoughts and emotions, uncovering underlying beliefs and motivations. This self-awareness is essential for personal growth, as it provides a foundation for making meaningful changes in one’s life.

In therapy, individuals can also learn valuable coping skills and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Therapists can teach techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals navigate difficult emotions and challenging situations. By learning and practicing these skills, individuals can develop resilience and improve their overall well-being.

Therapy provides a space for individuals to process and heal from past traumas or unresolved issues. Many people carry emotional baggage from their past that affects their present lives. Therapy offers a safe and non-judgmental environment to explore and address these issues. Through techniques like talk therapy, art therapy, or experiential therapy, individuals can work through their emotions and find healing and closure.

Another significant aspect of therapy is the opportunity for personal growth in relationships. Therapy can help individuals develop better communication skills, establish healthy boundaries, and navigate conflicts effectively. By understanding their own needs and emotions, individuals can improve their relationships with others, whether it be with romantic partners, family members, or friends.

Therapy also promotes self-acceptance and self-compassion. Many individuals struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, constantly comparing themselves to others or feeling inadequate. Through therapy, individuals can challenge negative self-talk, develop a more positive self-image, and cultivate self-compassion. This newfound self-acceptance allows individuals to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, leading to increased self-confidence and personal growth.

Emotions stem from unmet needs.

The statement “Emotions stem from unmet needs” is a powerful and insightful concept that can greatly impact our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. This idea suggests that our emotions are not random or arbitrary, but rather, they are a response to our unmet needs.

When we experience emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear, it is often because there is something within us that is not being fulfilled. These unmet needs can be physical, emotional, or psychological in nature. For example, if we feel angry, it may be because our need for respect or fairness is not being met. If we feel sad, it may be because our need for connection or love is not being fulfilled. And if we feel fearful, it may be because our need for safety or security is not being addressed.

Understanding that our emotions stem from unmet needs can be a transformative realization. It allows us to shift our focus from simply reacting to our emotions to exploring the underlying needs that are driving them. By identifying and addressing these needs, we can begin to find healthier and more constructive ways to meet them.

This concept also highlights the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. When we recognize that our emotions are a signal that something is lacking in our lives, we can approach ourselves with kindness and understanding. Instead of judging or criticizing ourselves for feeling a certain way, we can acknowledge our emotions as valid and explore what they are trying to tell us about our needs.

In addition, this concept aligns with the principles of nonviolent communication, which emphasizes taking responsibility for our own feelings and needs. By recognizing that our emotions stem from unmet needs, we can communicate our needs more effectively and compassionately to others. This can lead to greater understanding, connection, and resolution in our relationships.

Overall, the idea that emotions stem from unmet needs is a powerful concept that can greatly enhance our self-awareness, personal growth, and relationships. By recognizing and addressing our needs, we can find healthier and more fulfilling ways to meet them. This understanding also allows us to approach ourselves and others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding. Ultimately, it can lead to greater fulfillment, happiness, and harmony in our lives.

Eliminate unnecessary suffering, self-compassion.

In the podcast, Ashley discusses the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion. She emphasizes that while there may be unavoidable suffering in life, much of the suffering we experience is self-inflicted through shame, guilt, and self-judgment. Her purpose in therapy is to help individuals validate their feelings and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them in avoiding further self-inflicted suffering.

The idea of unnecessary suffering stems from the belief that when we struggle with anxiety or depression, we often add an element of shame and self-judgment to our experiences. This self-inflicted suffering arises from the way we relate to ourselves and others. Ashley’s goal is to help individuals acknowledge their suffering and validate their emotions, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Overall, the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion is a powerful one. It encourages individuals to validate their emotions and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others. By addressing our needs and treating ourselves with kindness and empathy, we can break free from self-inflicted suffering and find greater fulfillment and happiness in our lives. This understanding also allows us to approach others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding, leading to more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.

 

Make sure to listen to Season 2 Episode 3 (Part 2) to hear our interview with Ashley Vaden! 

 

Ashley, vaden, therapist, couples, louisville

Meet Mindfulness & IFS Guru Ashley Vaden, LMFT

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Reassessing midlife for more fulfillment.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 1) Megan discusses the common experience of feeling stuck or unfulfilled in her midlife journey. She acknowledges the feeling of being a hamster on a hamster wheel, going through the motions without making progress or finding joy. This sentiment resonates with many individuals who reach a point in their lives where they question if they have accomplished all they set out to do and if there is more to life.

Midlife is a natural time for reflection and reassessment. It is a period where individuals evaluate what is working for them and what is not. This introspection is normal and can lead to personal growth and positive change. Megan encourages listeners to reclaim their time, energy, and joy in order to make the most of the second half of their lives.

Ashley Vaden, shares her personal experience and perspective. She talks about growing up in Frankfurt, Kentucky, and the culture shock she experienced when moving to Shelby County. Despite the challenges, she used this time to focus on her studies and develop a love for learning. Ashley expresses her desire to be a lifelong student and emphasizes the importance of continuous growth and curiosity.

Ashley’s journey led her to study psychology in college, driven by her own positive experience with therapy in high school. This decision reflects her desire to understand human behavior and help others. Megan commends Ashley for her work as an office therapist at the Mindfulness Center and highlights her contributions to mindfulness classes.

There is great significance in reassessing midlife for more fulfillment. It encourages individuals to take stock of their lives, identify areas that need improvement, and seek out new experiences that bring joy and peace. By acknowledging the need for change and actively pursuing personal growth, individuals can find greater fulfillment and happiness in the second half of their lives.

Reassessing midlife is not about regret or feeling like time has been wasted. Instead, it is an opportunity to realign priorities, set new goals, and make conscious choices that align with one’s values and passions. It is about finding the courage to make changes and explore new possibilities.

This is a reminder that it is never too late to reassess and make positive changes. Megan encourages listeners to embrace the second half of their lives with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and a commitment to personal growth.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy are crucial aspects that can greatly impact both the therapist and the client. 

Flexibility allows therapists to adapt their approach and techniques to meet the unique needs of each client. Ashley had initially considered pursuing a career in fashion or moving to New York. However, due to financial responsibilities and student loans, she decided to utilize her psychology degree and work as a therapist. This decision demonstrates the flexibility she had to make in order to support her son and pay off her debts. By being open to different possibilities and adapting to the circumstances, she was able to find a job that aligned with her skills and interests.

Furthermore, flexibility in therapy allows therapists to be responsive to the changing needs and goals of their clients. Ashley initially did not want to work with children but found herself working with them in her first job. However, she discovered a love for working with kids and found it to be a profound and life-changing experience. This demonstrates how being open to new experiences and adapting to different client populations can lead to unexpected growth and fulfillment in therapy.

In addition to flexibility, freedom in therapy is also crucial.She mentioned that she decided to transition to a different job after five years of working in a high-intensity setting. She desired more flexibility and freedom to be with her child. This highlights the importance of work-life balance and the need for therapists to prioritize their own well-being and personal lives. By seeking out a job that provides more flexibility, therapists can create a healthier and more fulfilling work environment for themselves.

Freedom in therapy allows clients to feel empowered and in control of their own healing journey. Ashley mentioned how she appreciated having someone tell her what to do when she was feeling burnt out in grad school. By providing clients with the freedom to make choices and take ownership of their healing process, therapists can empower them to overcome challenges and achieve their goals.

Internal Family Systems empowers change.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic modality that empowers individuals to create change from within. It recognizes that within each person, there are multiple parts that make up their internal system. These parts can be seen as different aspects of the individual’s personality, each with its own unique characteristics and motivations. The goal of IFS is to help individuals understand and connect with these parts, and ultimately, to find harmony and balance within themselves.

In this episode, Megan talks about the transformative power of IFS in the lives of both therapists and clients. Ashley shares her experience of transitioning from working in an agency to starting her own private practice. Initially, she felt afraid and uncertain about this change, but when she shared her decision with her boss, he expressed his support and decided to join her in this new venture. This moment of validation and support brought a sense of relief and confirmation that she was on the right path. It highlights how IFS can provide individuals with the courage and confidence to make significant life changes.

Internal Family Systems empowers change by providing individuals with the tools and understanding to explore and connect with their internal selves It encourages flexibility, adaptability, and self-compassion, allowing individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives. 

If you are interested in learning more about Internal Family Systems and therapy, make sure to check out this interview with Ashley on the shift your shit podcast! 

 

Britt, Riddle, Religious, Spiritual, Development, Injury

Therapists Talking About Their Personal Experience With Therapy

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Somatic experiencing therapy helps regulate emotions.

In season 2, episode 2 (part 2) of the Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S) podcast, therapist Britt Riddle,
D.Min., MAMFT shares her personal experience with somatic experiencing therapy. She
explains that as a competitive gymnast as a child, she was very in tune with her body, but after
experiencing trauma as a teenager, she lost her connection with her body and the wisdom it held.
Somatic experiencing therapy is based on the idea that traumatic experiences can get trapped or
frozen in our bodies, which can keep us from fully processing a traumatic experience, leading to
dysregulation in our nervous systems. Somatic experiencing therapy invites awareness and
expression of physical sensations and movement associated with the trauma in order to release
“frozen” energy—this might look like screaming in a safe environment like a parked car or
letting tears freely flow rather than trying to block them.
Britt also incorporates somatic work into her practice of therapy, particularly when working with
individuals in helping professions who often have to suppress their own emotions in order to be
“on” for other people, which over time, can lead to a build-up of stress.

Pay attention to your body.

Many of us go through life without paying much attention to the physical sensations and signals
that our bodies are sending us. This lack of awareness can lead to a variety of problems,
including difficulty managing emotions, chronic stress, and even physical health issues.
Britt discusses how holding our breath during times of stress can contribute to feelings of panic
and dysregulation. By practicing breath work, we can create a muscle memory of deep and
regulated breathing. This can help us stay grounded and calm during moments of heightened
emotions or stress.

Britt also talks about the importance of grounding practices, such as intentionally noticing your
feet on the floor (or ground) in order to feel connected to the earth. Mindfulness does not have to
require a huge time commitment, but can be incorporated into daily life—taking a few moments
at a red light to focus on your breath or noticing sensations happening in your body. These
mindfulness practices can create a greater sense of emotional awareness and nervous system
regulation.

Grounding is important for self-care.

Grounding is an important aspect of managing personal energy and practicing self-care. Megan,
a Reiki master, discusses how our energy is often concentrated in the upper chakras (the mind),

causing us to feel disconnected from our bodies and the present moment. The shift this, Megan
suggests the practice of grounding, which brings the energy down through the body and into the
feet, creating a sense of connection and presence. This can be done through practices such as
stomping your feet or wiggling your toes.
Grounding can also be done with our thoughts. By consciously naming the experience of being
grounded, we can create a pause in our thoughts and bring ourselves to the present moment. This
pause allows for a deeper sense of awareness and a break from the constant stream of thoughts
and distractions that put us into autopilot mode.
Britt is an expert in working with clients who want to increase self-care and decrease compassion
fatigue and burnout. Her calm and grounded presence is appreciated by those who have worked
with her, and she personally understands the challenges faced by individuals in helping
professions. Her approach to therapy emphasizes the importance of grounding, mindfulness, and
body awareness to help clients maintain nervous system regulation, which can lead to healthier
and more fulfilling lives.

Britt, Britt Riddle, Religious trauma

Meet Britt Riddle, DMin, MAMFT!

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Reassessing midlife for fulfillment—transition from minister to therapist.

In season 2, episode 2 (part 1) of Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) podcast, Megan introduces Britt
Riddle, a therapist at The Mindfulness Center. Britt is originally from Louisville, but more
recently she lived in Virginia and Western Kentucky while serving in congregations as an
ordained minister. Britt describes how she found herself drawn to the moments she calls “deep
spaces,” in ministry such as the sacred conversations that happened in hospital rooms, in nursing
homes, and at funeral services. Though no longer serving professionally in a congregation, Britt
continues to engage in spiritual practices by attending a Quaker meeting (where there is no
ordained leadership) where she is learning new ways of being in community with people without
being responsible for leading or managing the space.
Britt holds both a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree,
and it was this path and her own experience of burnout that eventually led her to return to
Louisville in order to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy. Britt shares that being a
therapist had always been in the back of her mind, but the timing was not right to make this shift
until more recently.

Self-care for sensitive people.

Britt self-identifies as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and shares how the “sensitive” trait is
often overlooked and/or misunderstood—as a personality it exists on a continuum—we all have
some level of sensitivity and those with higher levels tend to take on more energy and feelings
from others. Britt discusses how having high empathy and high sensitivity traits led to
compassion fatigue and burnout as a minister, and ultimately, a career shift to become a
therapist.
For those who are HSPs, Britt describes the importance of recognizing and honoring your needs
for downtime and solitude in order to process and recharge emotions. HSPs are often drawn to
personal and professional work that involve caring for others, which makes the need for
boundaries essential in order to maintain emotional and physical health.
Britt highlights the importance for HSPs of seeking support and professional help when
needed—especially when feeling emotionally overwhelmed. She pursued a degree in marriage
and family therapy to better understand her own experiences and now works with clients who are
experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout.

Pause before reacting to emotions.

Britt highlights the practice of pausing before reacting to emotions. In her own experience Britt
does this by paying close attention to her internal, somatic experience, allowing her to recognize
when her heart rate is increasing and any other physical symptoms she may notice. These
physical cues serve as a reminder to pause and take a moment before responding/reacting to a
situation, which allows our brain to kick in and make active, mindful decisions about how to
respond (rather than react in a way that may be unhelpful). Mindfulness involves being present in
the moment and fully aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. By practicing
mindfulness, we can become more attuned to our emotions and recognize when we are starting to
feel dysregulated or overwhelmed.

Yes, Therapists Go To Therapy!

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Megan Bayles Bartley is a mental health and relationship expert. Over the last twenty years, she has honed her unique skills as a therapist and now shares her knowledge with you in Season 2 of her podcast – Shifting Our Shit.

 

In Episode 1, Part 2, Megan talks about her own experience with therapy over the last 30-plus year starting when she was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue at 16 years old and was told “it’s all in your head!”

 

About Megan.

Therapy provides support and growth. It is a valuable tool that can help individuals navigate through life’s challenges, gain insight into themselves, and develop the necessary skills to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life.

 

In this episode, Megan Bayless-Bartley shares her personal experience with therapy. She first sought therapy at the age of 16 when she was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. Medical professionals believed her condition was a psychosomatic response to stress, and therapy was recommended to help her identify and manage the underlying stressors.

 

Megan describes herself as a firstborn, type A personality, and a high empath. She also admits to being a deep thinker and running on the anxious side. She had a tendency towards perfectionism and exhibited signs of OCD, such as vacuuming her bedroom carpet with precision. These characteristics, combined with certain family dynamics, contributed to her need for therapy.

 

At the age of 16, Megan started therapy with a marriage and family therapist named Joy. This experience provided her with a trusted adult who offered undivided attention and a safe space to explore her thoughts and emotions. Megan emphasizes the importance of having a therapist who didn’t judge her or make her feel crazy or wrong. This support allowed her to be herself and work through her difficulties.

 

Megan continued therapy on and off throughout her life. In her 20s, she sought therapy again when she was struggling to navigate a romantic relationship with someone dealing with addiction. Therapy provided her with guidance and coping mechanisms during this challenging time.

 

When Megan started her master’s program in marriage and family therapy, she found it beneficial to seek therapy herself. She needed help managing her anxiety about her future and the unknowns that lay ahead. This experience highlighted the importance of therapists seeking therapy for their own well-being and growth.

 

Therapy provides support by offering a non-judgmental space for individuals to express themselves and explore their thoughts and emotions. It allows them to gain insight into their own behaviors, patterns, and underlying issues. Through therapy, individuals can develop coping strategies, improve their communication skills, and learn to navigate relationships more effectively.

 

Therapy also promotes personal growth. It helps individuals identify and challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns that may be holding them back. It encourages self-reflection and self-awareness, enabling individuals to make positive changes in their lives. Therapy provides the tools and resources necessary for individuals to overcome obstacles, improve their mental health, and achieve their goals.

 

Anxiety in relationships requires therapy.

Anxiety in relationships is a common issue that many individuals face. It can manifest in various ways, from controlling behavior to emotional vulnerability. However, therapy has proven to be a valuable resource in addressing and managing anxiety within relationships. Megan shares her personal experiences with anxiety in her own relationship and how therapy played a crucial role in her journey.

 

Megan recalls meeting her now-husband during a time of high anxiety in her life. Recognizing the importance of compatibility and open communication, she took the initiative to involve him in therapy sessions. This decision highlights the significance of therapy in addressing relationship concerns and fostering understanding between partners. By engaging in a couple’s assessment, they were able to explore topics that they may not have discussed otherwise. This assessment served as a foundation for their relationship and allowed them to navigate potential challenges more effectively.

 

Premarital counseling further exemplifies the role of therapy in addressing anxiety within relationships. Megan wanted to ensure that her marriage did not replicate the negative aspects of her parents’ relationship. By seeking outside help, she and her husband were able to address their concerns and establish a healthier foundation for their marriage. Premarital therapy provided them with the necessary tools to communicate openly and honestly, setting them up for success in their relationship.

 

Therapy also played a crucial role in Megan’s personal journey with anxiety. She acknowledges the challenges of living with someone and knowing that it is a long-term commitment. The anxiety she experienced in this context led her to seek therapy once again. By engaging in couples therapy, Megan was able to explore the root causes of her anxiety and work towards healing and growth. Through therapy, she learned to trust her partner emotionally and address the emotional hurts from her past. This vulnerability and growth within the relationship were vital in managing her anxiety and fostering a healthier dynamic.

 

Furthermore, Megan’s decision to seek therapy was influenced by her desire to prevent her anxiety from affecting her children. Recognizing the potential impact of her anxiety on her children, she made it a priority to get her anxiety under control. Therapy provided her with the necessary tools and strategies to manage her anxiety and prevent it from negatively impacting her children. This demonstrates the proactive approach therapy offers in addressing anxiety within relationships and its potential ripple effects on family dynamics.

 

Therapy is important for growth.

Therapy is important for growth. It provides individuals with the necessary support, guidance, and tools to navigate life’s challenges and achieve personal development. Megan shares her own experience in this episode with therapy and how it has been instrumental in her growth and progress.

 

  • Megan emphasizes the importance of being emotionally available to her children and putting her anxiety into perspective. She recognizes that how she shows up with her kids matters and that she needs to be in an emotionally open and vulnerable space. Therapy has helped her own her imperfections, acknowledge when she is wrong, and repair any parenting mistakes. By modeling this behavior for her children, she teaches them the importance of accountability, growth, and repair in relationships.

 

Throughout her life, Megan has sought therapy during various periods of difficulty and transition. She attended group therapy with new moms to discuss the challenges of motherhood. When her father passed away, therapy provided her with the necessary support to navigate grief and the changes it brought to her family dynamics. Megan’s experience showcases how therapy can be a valuable resource during times of loss and change.

 

  • Furthermore, Megan highlights that therapy does not always have to be traditional talk therapy. There are other modalities such as energy healing and Reiki work to release tension and promote healing in the body. This shows that therapy can take many forms and individuals can find what works best for them in their own healing journey.

 

  • Megan also emphasizes the importance of finding a therapist or practitioner that one trusts and feels comfortable with. She describes her current therapist as a coach and energy healer who provides her with the support and guidance she needs at this stage of her life. This highlights the importance of finding a therapeutic relationship that aligns with one’s specific needs and goals.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

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Transitions and Resets

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THIS. IS. BIG! In the final episode of Season 1 of Shifting Our Shit, Rob hands over the reins of the S.O.S. Podcast to Megan. They wrap up the past year (and 28 episodes!) and talk about what they have learned and what they appreciate about each other. Megan has much gratitude for Rob as he was integral in helping get this podcast launched. It is with both sadness and joy that we launch Rob off to focus his attention on other things. We will still hear from him from time to time, just not every episode. Stay tuned for Season Two coming any day now as we “Meet the Team” at The Mindfulness Center. Hear why therapists decide to become therapists (messed up childhoods, no doubt! lol j/k) and therapists’ own experience with therapy!

Transition can be bittersweet.

Transition can be bittersweet. This is a sentiment that many of us can relate to, especially in times of change and uncertainty. The SOS Podcast recently aired its final episode of the season, marking a transition for the show. Megan and Rob discussed their plans for the future, the emotions of both excitement and sadness were palpable. This is a common experience for anyone who has gone through a significant life change, whether it be graduating from school, starting a new job, or moving to a new city.

Megan and Rob likened their transition to graduation season, where one leaves behind a familiar environment and moves on to something new. While there is excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead, there is also a sense of loss for what is being left behind. This is a natural part of the human experience, and it is important to acknowledge and honor these emotions.

As Megan and Rob discussed their highlights from the past season, it was clear that they had created a special bond through their podcasting journey. They had shared their thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences with their listeners, and in doing so, had created a sense of community. This is one of the many benefits of podcasting, as it allows individuals to connect with others who share similar interests and experiences.

However, transitions also bring new opportunities. Megan will be taking over as the new host of the podcast, and Rob will be taking on a different role. This change will allow for new voices and perspectives to be heard and will bring fresh energy to the show. While it may be difficult to say goodbye to the old, it is important to embrace the new and look forward to what lies ahead.

In conclusion, transition can be bittersweet. It is natural to feel a sense of loss when leaving behind something familiar, but it is also important to embrace new opportunities and experiences. Megan and Rob demonstrated this sentiment through the discussion of their upcoming transition. As they move on to new roles and new experiences, they will undoubtedly continue to inspire their listeners to embrace change and look forward to the future.

Stay connected and be conversational.

Throughout season 1 of the podcast, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of staying connected and being conversational. As therapists, it can be easy to feel isolated and disconnected from others, especially when working with clients all day. However, Megan and Rob recognized the value of connecting with others in their field and in their personal lives.

By staying connected, therapists can sharpen their skills and learn from others’ experiences. Megan and Rob highlighted the benefits of interacting with colleagues and friends, whether through professional associations or casual conversations. These connections can help therapists feel less isolated and more supported in their work.

In addition to staying connected, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of being conversational in their approach to therapy. Rather than relying solely on clinical techniques and jargon, they sought to create a warm and inviting environment for their clients. By being conversational, therapists can build rapport with their clients and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This conversational approach was also evident in the podcast episodes. Megan and Rob engaged in casual, yet informative conversations about a variety of topics related to mental health and therapy. By adopting this approach, they were able to connect with their listeners and make complex topics more accessible.

As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will undoubtedly carry these values with them. By staying connected and being conversational, they can continue to make a positive impact on their clients and the broader mental health community. Their podcast serves as a reminder of the importance of these values and the power of connection and conversation.

The team at Mindfulness Center shares vulnerability.

The podcast episode centers around the upcoming season, which will focus on introducing the team at the Mindfulness Center. Megan and Rob plan to record conversations with each team member, allowing listeners to hear from them and potentially see them on video. The goal is to expand curiosity and learning among listeners by sharing each therapist’s unique approach and experience with therapy.

As mentioned, vulnerability is important in creating a safe and supportive environment. By being vulnerable themselves, they hope to encourage others to do the same. This vulnerability has allowed for natural compatibility and understanding between team members, much like playing doubles in tennis. It has also allowed for flexibility and growth among therapists, as they are encouraged to make their practice their own.

Megan started the group practice did so with the intention of using the synergy of the group to help everyone succeed. It was never about making herself look good, but rather supporting each therapist in doing what they do best. By taking care of the business side of things, she allows her team to focus on therapy with their clients. This support and trust among team members is evident in the way they speak about each other and their abilities.

The importance of vulnerability and connection cannot be overstated in the mental health field. Clients need to feel safe and supported in order to open up and make progress in therapy. By modeling vulnerability and creating a supportive environment among team members, the mindfulness center is setting a positive example for the broader mental health community. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

How vulnerability, intuition, and support create connections.

In the podcast, Megan and Rob discuss the importance of realness, intuition, and support in creating a connection between therapists and clients. They emphasize:

  • The value of being authentic and not striving for perfection- this approach allows clients to feel comfortable and supported, which is crucial for effective therapy.
  • Intuition in therapy- when therapists are comfortable in their own skin and understand their strengths and weaknesses, they can better connect with clients on an intuitive level. This connection allows for deeper understanding and empathy, which is essential for creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment.
  • Create a nice environment for clients- clients come to therapy to feel better and creating a calming and supportive environment can help them achieve this goal. This includes intentional office design, the language used on the website, and the overall vibe of the practice.

The episode emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, intuition, and support to create connections in therapy. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients feel safe and supported, which is essential for effective therapy. These values are crucial not just for the Mindfulness Center, but for the broader mental health community as well. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

Own who you are.

One of the key messages of the podcast is the importance of owning who you are. This means being true to yourself, embracing your quirks and idiosyncrasies, and not worrying about what others may think. Megan and Rob discuss how this applies not just to their own lives, but also to their work as therapists.

For example, Megan talks about how she used to feel pressure to conform to certain expectations in her therapy practice. She worried about being seen as “weird” or “out there” if she didn’t follow the traditional clinical model. However, she eventually realized that by embracing her own style and personality, she could actually be more effective as a therapist. Clients respond better when they feel that their therapist is authentic and genuine, rather than just following a script.

Megan also discusses how she had to set boundaries in her practice, such as not seeing couples anymore. While she was initially hesitant to do this, she ultimately found that it allowed her to focus on the clients she was most passionate about working with. By owning her own preferences and needs, she was able to provide better care for her clients.

The concept of owning who you are extends beyond just therapy, of course. It’s a message that can apply to all areas of life. By being true to ourselves, we can build stronger relationships, make more meaningful contributions to our communities, and find greater fulfillment in our work and personal lives.

However, it’s not always easy to own who you are. There may be societal pressures or personal insecurities that make us feel like we need to conform or hide certain aspects of ourselves. It takes courage and vulnerability to be open and honest about who we are, especially in a world that can be judgmental and critical.

When we feel safe and supported, we are more likely to be ourselves and embrace our true identities. This can lead to greater happiness, confidence, and success.

In conclusion, the podcast’s message of owning who you are is a powerful one. By embracing our own unique qualities and being true to ourselves, we can live more fulfilling and authentic lives. This message is especially important in therapy, where clients need to feel safe and supported in order to make progress. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients own who they are and find greater happiness and fulfillment.

How to show up differently to see change.

  • Take responsibility for our own actions and emotions– this means being mindful of our thoughts and feelings and taking steps to improve ourselves.
  • Being true to ourselves– embrace our unique qualities and perspectives and not be afraid to be different. By doing so, we can attract like-minded people who share our values and beliefs.

We all face challenges and struggles, but by showing up differently, we can overcome them and find greater happiness and fulfillment. This means being open to new perspectives, taking risks, and being willing to learn and grow.

Gratitude shifts negative mindset.

One of the most effective ways to shift from a negative mindset to a positive one is through gratitude. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem, we can shift our perspective and find joy in the present moment.

You can do a simple exercise of writing thank you notes to people we appreciate. This act of gratitude not only benefits the recipient but also has a ripple effect on our own emotional state. By expressing gratitude, we create a positive energy that can spread to others.

Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting our mindset because it helps us focus on the positive aspects of our lives. It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking, especially during challenging times. However, by intentionally focusing on the good things in our lives, we can train our minds to see the positive instead of the negative.

In addition to its emotional benefits, gratitude has been shown to have physical health benefits as well. Studies have found that practicing gratitude can improve sleep quality, reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and even boost the immune system.

Overall, the podcast’s message of gratitude is a powerful one. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, we can shift our mindset and find greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Whether it’s through writing thank you notes or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on what we are grateful for, incorporating gratitude into our daily lives can have a profound impact on our well-being.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

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