Meet Anxiety Expert, Jennifer Komis, LMFT!

10 October 2023/in Blog, Podcast, Stress/by Megan Bartley

Jennifer Komis is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in anxiety and panic disorders. She is also passionate about pet-assisted therapy and works for the Humane Society. Jennifer grew up in Wisconsin and Kentucky, and she got into therapy due to her personal experiences and the influence of her therapists.

Jennifer pursued both a Master of Divinity and a Master of Family Therapy at Presbyterian Seminary. Initially, her focus was on the Master of Divinity because she wanted to work within spiritual communities to advocate for animal welfare. She quickly realized that becoming a therapist would be a more nuanced way to help people. She changed her focus to the Master of Family Therapy while maintaining the Master of Divinity to be able to speak the language of the people she would be assisting.

Jennifer’s interest in animals has always been present, and she has always had cats as pets. She is deeply passionate about pet-assisted therapy and believes in the healing power of animals. In addition to her work as a therapist, Jennifer also works for the Humane Society as a director of marketing. Through her work, she strives to ensure that animals are cared for internationally.

Jennifer’s love for animals and her belief in the power of therapy led her to combine her interests in spirituality and counseling. She is dedicated to helping individuals who may have been hurt or are struggling with deeper meaning in their lives. Jennifer’s goal is not to provide all the answers but to be a supportive presence and help her clients explore their own answers.

Slowing down reduces anxiety.

Jennifer Komis discusses her journey into the world of animal shelters and how it led her to want to make a difference. She emphasizes the need for awareness of the needs that animals in Kentucky have and the importance of mobilizing community members to help. Jennifer and her family and friends started volunteering for a local animal foundation, and they have since fostered cats, kittens, and dogs. This experience has been inspirational for Jennifer, as she has witnessed the resilience and adaptability of these animals, which has taught her a lot.

Jennifer is passionate about the topic of anxiety and panic disorders. Jennifer has written a series of blogs on anxiety and expresses her desire to communicate important information about anxiety to the general public. There is the misconception that a person’s life needs to be constantly in motion and filled with high expectations in order to be successful. Jennifer wishes to convey that there is an alternative, slower path that can lead to a better and more mindful way of living. Slowing down can actually optimize one’s functioning and diminish anxiety. This countercultural message challenges the notion that faster is always better.

Jennifer knows that slowing down allows individuals to respond rather than react in their lives, which can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. She believes that this message is valuable for her clients at The Mindfulness Center, as it helps them become their best selves in various aspects of their lives, such as their careers and family relationships. Jennifer emphasizes that faster is not always better and hopes to convey this message through her blogs.

Jennifer also touches on the importance of self-awareness and being mindful of one’s own desires and boundaries. Instead of constantly feeling the need to do things out of obligation or pressure, Jennifer encourages individuals to take a step back and evaluate whether they truly want to engage in certain activities. By doing so, individuals can gain clarity and make choices that align with their own values and preferences, reducing feelings of anxiety and overwhelm.

Rest is resistance, chronic illness.

One of the key themes that Jennifer Komis explores is the concept of rest as resistance. In a society that values productivity and constant activity, taking time to rest and recharge can be seen as a form of resistance against the pressures of capitalism. Komis argues that rest is not only necessary for our physical and mental well-being, but it is also a way to push back against societal expectations and prioritize our own needs.

Komis points out that our bodies often send us signals when we are not taking enough time to rest. Chronic headaches, stomach aches, and other psychosomatic symptoms can be a result of holding onto stress and not giving ourselves the opportunity to slow down. By paying attention to these signals and listening to our bodies, we can begin to understand what they are trying to tell us. Perhaps our body is urging us to slow down and take a break, to prioritize self-care and rest.

The idea of rest as resistance is particularly relevant in a capitalist society that values constant productivity and hustle. Komis highlights the importance of recognizing that we need periods of rest and rejuvenation in order to function at our best. Just as nature follows cycles of rest and growth, so too could we. In fall and winter, before the spring and summer of productivity, we could take the time to rest and recharge. Similarly, in a 24-hour period, we have the nighttime for sleep and rejuvenation. These natural cycles remind us that rest is an essential part of life.

As individuals reach their 40s, Komis suggests that they often experience a shift in mindset. Referred to as the “fuck it 40s,” this stage is characterized by a desire to prioritize one’s own well-being and do what is best for oneself. After years of grinding and pushing through, individuals reach a point where they realize that the current way of life is no longer working for them. This is a natural progression towards recognizing the importance of rest and self-care.

Komis also touches on the topic of chronic illness, which many individuals at The Mindfulness Center have experienced. She acknowledges that the cultural pressure to constantly be active and productive can contribute to chronic illness. By not allowing ourselves to rest and recover, we put our bodies under immense stress, which can lead to physical and mental health issues. Komis and her colleagues at The Mindfulness Center have personally dealt with chronic illness and have found healing through mindfulness and self-care practices.

Listen to this SOS Podcast Episode HERE!

Find out more about Jennifer HERE!

Jennifer Komis, Jennifer Phelps, Mindfulness, Grief, Anxiety

Tools for Your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: Mindfulness

08 August 2023/in Blog, Mindfulness, Stress, Therapy/by Megan Bartley

Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap with Mindfulness (Part 2)

Imagine you are walking into the ocean. The waves crash against your knees and the sand slides
between your toes. As you walk deeper into the water, you notice subtle currents pull you in different
directions, left, right, or out further. It’s hard not to drift in the direction of the current; at times, it may
even feel impossible. You glance at the shore and notice you’ve drifted quite a ways in a direction you
did not intend. Now, imagine that instead of amid the currents, you are standing on the shore looking
out at the ocean. You’re noticing how the water rolls in and out, how the currents swirl and pull and
push the water. This time, you’re just watching the currents as your feet remain firmly fixed on the sand.
You notice the sun warming your shoulders, the seagulls singing overhead, and you begin to walk down
the beach in a direction of your choosing.

You may be wondering, what in the world does the beach have to do with mindfulness? Well, it provides
a metaphor for the experience of our daily lives. We may live on autopilot and go, go, go where the
currents takes us, without pausing to decide for ourselves if we really want to go there, how we really
want to respond, or if, maybe, we would just like to rest. Mindfulness reminds us that we have the
choice to ground our feet in the steadiness of any moment, observe it and decide how we would like to
respond to it. Mindfulness suggests that when we notice the current, we step back, observe it, and
decide what’s next, instead of reacting like perhaps we always have. In short, mindfulness allows us to
awaken from the autopilot and take back control of our lives.

If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and observe your body’s
sensations, and making intentional choices from that space, the mindfulness approach we specialize in
at The Mindfulness Center may be the perfect way to free yourself from the stress and anxiety trap.
Don’t worry, you don’t need a yoga studio membership, extra time in your day, or even a clear mind to
practice mindfulness. We’ll teach you how to do it in the everyday moments of your life, whether at
your desk at work or while driving a carful of kids home from school. And don’t forget to check out our
next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your toolbox: the internal family systems approach
to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

Tools for your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: CBT Exercises

08 August 2023/in Blog, Boundaries, Relationships, Stress, Therapy/by Megan Bartley

Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap

by Jennifer Komis, LMFT

Do you know that your body knows you are anxious before you are conscious of anxiety? Your body
reacts to stress triggers rapidly, creating a tightening in your chest, tension across your forehead, or
maybe a dry mouth or upset stomach. Because the mind and body are inextricably linked like this,
therapists can treat anxiety and stress in multiple ways: we can provide interventions to help calm the
mind AND we can collaborate with you to help calm the body. This is good news, as you have MANY
options of treatment that can help you find your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!
If you prefer to examine how your thoughts impact your behaviors, cognitive behavioral therapy may be
a good fit for you. If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and
observe your body’s sensations, a mindfulness approach may be most helpful. If identifying the inner
parts of yourself that feel anxious and working to calm them sounds appealing, internal family systems
could be just your thing. And if learning breathing techniques and physical relaxation exercises floats
your boat, therapy that focuses first on the body could be perfect for you.
At the Louisville Mindfulness Center, we are well-versed in all these approaches to treating stress and
anxiety. We consider it a privilege to get to know you personally and determine which approach (or
approaches) feels like the right fit for you. In this blog series, we’ll give you a preview of these
techniques and show you how to alleviate anxiety through each approach. Today’s focus? The cognitive
behavioral approach!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you uncover the core thoughts leading you to feel anxious and helps you become aware of
how those thoughts may be driving your actions. Check out an example:

 Stressful event: I got frustrated and raised my voice to my child today.
 What are the resulting thoughts that maintain my stress or anxiety? (e.g., I’m not a good mom.)
 What feelings do these thoughts lead me to have? (e.g., sadness, hopelessness, apathy)
 What behaviors do these thoughts lead me to do? (e.g., give up on tasks, crash on couch, avoid
to-do list)

CBT offers hope because it reminds us that if you change your thoughts, you change your actions! So, in
therapy, we work on reframing the core thoughts that are keeping you stuck and replacing them with
thoughts that bring you more freedom and the actions you desire. For example:

 Old thought: I’m not a good mom.
 New thought: I’m normal because most (if not all) parents struggle with frustration with their
children. I shouldn’t beat myself up. I also did a lot of things well today as a parent.
 New feelings: accepted, calm, motivated
 New behaviors: takes a break for self-care and reflection, calls friend to process stress, moves on
with the day’s tasks

Your turn! What’s a reoccurring thought that may be keeping you stuck? Can you challenge it? Think
about it another way? Give it a try and see how changing your thoughts can cause a positive ripple effect
throughout your day. Then, check out our next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your
toolbox: the mindfulness approach to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

Meet Britt Riddle, DMin, MAMFT!

07 July 2023/in Blog, Podcast, Relationships, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

Reassessing midlife for fulfillment—transition from minister to therapist.

In season 2, episode 2 (part 1) of Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) podcast, Megan introduces Britt
Riddle, a therapist at The Mindfulness Center. Britt is originally from Louisville, but more
recently she lived in Virginia and Western Kentucky while serving in congregations as an
ordained minister. Britt describes how she found herself drawn to the moments she calls “deep
spaces,” in ministry such as the sacred conversations that happened in hospital rooms, in nursing
homes, and at funeral services. Though no longer serving professionally in a congregation, Britt
continues to engage in spiritual practices by attending a Quaker meeting (where there is no
ordained leadership) where she is learning new ways of being in community with people without
being responsible for leading or managing the space.
Britt holds both a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree,
and it was this path and her own experience of burnout that eventually led her to return to
Louisville in order to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy. Britt shares that being a
therapist had always been in the back of her mind, but the timing was not right to make this shift
until more recently.

Self-care for sensitive people.

Britt self-identifies as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and shares how the “sensitive” trait is
often overlooked and/or misunderstood—as a personality it exists on a continuum—we all have
some level of sensitivity and those with higher levels tend to take on more energy and feelings
from others. Britt discusses how having high empathy and high sensitivity traits led to
compassion fatigue and burnout as a minister, and ultimately, a career shift to become a
therapist.
For those who are HSPs, Britt describes the importance of recognizing and honoring your needs
for downtime and solitude in order to process and recharge emotions. HSPs are often drawn to
personal and professional work that involve caring for others, which makes the need for
boundaries essential in order to maintain emotional and physical health.
Britt highlights the importance for HSPs of seeking support and professional help when
needed—especially when feeling emotionally overwhelmed. She pursued a degree in marriage
and family therapy to better understand her own experiences and now works with clients who are
experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout.

Pause before reacting to emotions.

Britt highlights the practice of pausing before reacting to emotions. In her own experience Britt
does this by paying close attention to her internal, somatic experience, allowing her to recognize
when her heart rate is increasing and any other physical symptoms she may notice. These
physical cues serve as a reminder to pause and take a moment before responding/reacting to a
situation, which allows our brain to kick in and make active, mindful decisions about how to
respond (rather than react in a way that may be unhelpful). Mindfulness involves being present in
the moment and fully aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. By practicing
mindfulness, we can become more attuned to our emotions and recognize when we are starting to
feel dysregulated or overwhelmed.

couples, therapy, counseling, near me, louisville

Transitions and Resets

06 June 2023/in Blog, Podcast, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

THIS. IS. BIG! In the final episode of Season 1 of Shifting Our Shit, Rob hands over the reins of the S.O.S. Podcast to Megan. They wrap up the past year (and 28 episodes!) and talk about what they have learned and what they appreciate about each other. Megan has much gratitude for Rob as he was integral in helping get this podcast launched. It is with both sadness and joy that we launch Rob off to focus his attention on other things. We will still hear from him from time to time, just not every episode. Stay tuned for Season Two coming any day now as we “Meet the Team” at The Mindfulness Center. Hear why therapists decide to become therapists (messed up childhoods, no doubt! lol j/k) and therapists’ own experience with therapy!

Transition can be bittersweet.

Transition can be bittersweet. This is a sentiment that many of us can relate to, especially in times of change and uncertainty. The SOS Podcast recently aired its final episode of the season, marking a transition for the show. Megan and Rob discussed their plans for the future, the emotions of both excitement and sadness were palpable. This is a common experience for anyone who has gone through a significant life change, whether it be graduating from school, starting a new job, or moving to a new city.

Megan and Rob likened their transition to graduation season, where one leaves behind a familiar environment and moves on to something new. While there is excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead, there is also a sense of loss for what is being left behind. This is a natural part of the human experience, and it is important to acknowledge and honor these emotions.

As Megan and Rob discussed their highlights from the past season, it was clear that they had created a special bond through their podcasting journey. They had shared their thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences with their listeners, and in doing so, had created a sense of community. This is one of the many benefits of podcasting, as it allows individuals to connect with others who share similar interests and experiences.

However, transitions also bring new opportunities. Megan will be taking over as the new host of the podcast, and Rob will be taking on a different role. This change will allow for new voices and perspectives to be heard and will bring fresh energy to the show. While it may be difficult to say goodbye to the old, it is important to embrace the new and look forward to what lies ahead.

In conclusion, transition can be bittersweet. It is natural to feel a sense of loss when leaving behind something familiar, but it is also important to embrace new opportunities and experiences. Megan and Rob demonstrated this sentiment through the discussion of their upcoming transition. As they move on to new roles and new experiences, they will undoubtedly continue to inspire their listeners to embrace change and look forward to the future.

Stay connected and be conversational.

Throughout season 1 of the podcast, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of staying connected and being conversational. As therapists, it can be easy to feel isolated and disconnected from others, especially when working with clients all day. However, Megan and Rob recognized the value of connecting with others in their field and in their personal lives.

By staying connected, therapists can sharpen their skills and learn from others’ experiences. Megan and Rob highlighted the benefits of interacting with colleagues and friends, whether through professional associations or casual conversations. These connections can help therapists feel less isolated and more supported in their work.

In addition to staying connected, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of being conversational in their approach to therapy. Rather than relying solely on clinical techniques and jargon, they sought to create a warm and inviting environment for their clients. By being conversational, therapists can build rapport with their clients and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This conversational approach was also evident in the podcast episodes. Megan and Rob engaged in casual, yet informative conversations about a variety of topics related to mental health and therapy. By adopting this approach, they were able to connect with their listeners and make complex topics more accessible.

As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will undoubtedly carry these values with them. By staying connected and being conversational, they can continue to make a positive impact on their clients and the broader mental health community. Their podcast serves as a reminder of the importance of these values and the power of connection and conversation.

The team at Mindfulness Center shares vulnerability.

The podcast episode centers around the upcoming season, which will focus on introducing the team at the Mindfulness Center. Megan and Rob plan to record conversations with each team member, allowing listeners to hear from them and potentially see them on video. The goal is to expand curiosity and learning among listeners by sharing each therapist’s unique approach and experience with therapy.

As mentioned, vulnerability is important in creating a safe and supportive environment. By being vulnerable themselves, they hope to encourage others to do the same. This vulnerability has allowed for natural compatibility and understanding between team members, much like playing doubles in tennis. It has also allowed for flexibility and growth among therapists, as they are encouraged to make their practice their own.

Megan started the group practice did so with the intention of using the synergy of the group to help everyone succeed. It was never about making herself look good, but rather supporting each therapist in doing what they do best. By taking care of the business side of things, she allows her team to focus on therapy with their clients. This support and trust among team members is evident in the way they speak about each other and their abilities.

The importance of vulnerability and connection cannot be overstated in the mental health field. Clients need to feel safe and supported in order to open up and make progress in therapy. By modeling vulnerability and creating a supportive environment among team members, the mindfulness center is setting a positive example for the broader mental health community. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

How vulnerability, intuition, and support create connections.

In the podcast, Megan and Rob discuss the importance of realness, intuition, and support in creating a connection between therapists and clients. They emphasize:

The value of being authentic and not striving for perfection- this approach allows clients to feel comfortable and supported, which is crucial for effective therapy.
Intuition in therapy- when therapists are comfortable in their own skin and understand their strengths and weaknesses, they can better connect with clients on an intuitive level. This connection allows for deeper understanding and empathy, which is essential for creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment.
Create a nice environment for clients- clients come to therapy to feel better and creating a calming and supportive environment can help them achieve this goal. This includes intentional office design, the language used on the website, and the overall vibe of the practice.

The episode emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, intuition, and support to create connections in therapy. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients feel safe and supported, which is essential for effective therapy. These values are crucial not just for the Mindfulness Center, but for the broader mental health community as well. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

Own who you are.

One of the key messages of the podcast is the importance of owning who you are. This means being true to yourself, embracing your quirks and idiosyncrasies, and not worrying about what others may think. Megan and Rob discuss how this applies not just to their own lives, but also to their work as therapists.

For example, Megan talks about how she used to feel pressure to conform to certain expectations in her therapy practice. She worried about being seen as “weird” or “out there” if she didn’t follow the traditional clinical model. However, she eventually realized that by embracing her own style and personality, she could actually be more effective as a therapist. Clients respond better when they feel that their therapist is authentic and genuine, rather than just following a script.

Megan also discusses how she had to set boundaries in her practice, such as not seeing couples anymore. While she was initially hesitant to do this, she ultimately found that it allowed her to focus on the clients she was most passionate about working with. By owning her own preferences and needs, she was able to provide better care for her clients.

The concept of owning who you are extends beyond just therapy, of course. It’s a message that can apply to all areas of life. By being true to ourselves, we can build stronger relationships, make more meaningful contributions to our communities, and find greater fulfillment in our work and personal lives.

However, it’s not always easy to own who you are. There may be societal pressures or personal insecurities that make us feel like we need to conform or hide certain aspects of ourselves. It takes courage and vulnerability to be open and honest about who we are, especially in a world that can be judgmental and critical.

When we feel safe and supported, we are more likely to be ourselves and embrace our true identities. This can lead to greater happiness, confidence, and success.

In conclusion, the podcast’s message of owning who you are is a powerful one. By embracing our own unique qualities and being true to ourselves, we can live more fulfilling and authentic lives. This message is especially important in therapy, where clients need to feel safe and supported in order to make progress. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients own who they are and find greater happiness and fulfillment.

How to show up differently to see change.

Take responsibility for our own actions and emotions– this means being mindful of our thoughts and feelings and taking steps to improve ourselves.
Being true to ourselves– embrace our unique qualities and perspectives and not be afraid to be different. By doing so, we can attract like-minded people who share our values and beliefs.

We all face challenges and struggles, but by showing up differently, we can overcome them and find greater happiness and fulfillment. This means being open to new perspectives, taking risks, and being willing to learn and grow.

Gratitude shifts negative mindset.

One of the most effective ways to shift from a negative mindset to a positive one is through gratitude. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem, we can shift our perspective and find joy in the present moment.

You can do a simple exercise of writing thank you notes to people we appreciate. This act of gratitude not only benefits the recipient but also has a ripple effect on our own emotional state. By expressing gratitude, we create a positive energy that can spread to others.

Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting our mindset because it helps us focus on the positive aspects of our lives. It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking, especially during challenging times. However, by intentionally focusing on the good things in our lives, we can train our minds to see the positive instead of the negative.

In addition to its emotional benefits, gratitude has been shown to have physical health benefits as well. Studies have found that practicing gratitude can improve sleep quality, reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and even boost the immune system.

Overall, the podcast’s message of gratitude is a powerful one. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, we can shift our mindset and find greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Whether it’s through writing thank you notes or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on what we are grateful for, incorporating gratitude into our daily lives can have a profound impact on our well-being.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

Finding Peace and Joy in Everyday Life

06 June 2023/in Blog, Mindfulness, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

What would it take for you to feel more peace and joy in your life?

Perhaps a whole life overhaul? Perhaps not.

Someone asked me recently how to be less judgemental and negative. I gave her a few options to experiment with. Maybe they’ll be helpful for you too!

Focus on all the things you can be thankful for – even if they seem small. Having a roof over your head, food in your belly, a car that runs. Find a handful of gratitudes every day. If they’re the same ones for a bit, that’s ok too. Perhaps with time, you can see more.
Surround yourself with sensory things that feel good. For example, drink your favorite tea or coffee, wear your favorite shirt or shoes, burn that candle that smells divine, listen to your favorite songs, and surround yourself with your favorite colors. It seems trivial, yet it’s not!
Use more adjectives to describe things, people, and events. See things from many angles. Instead of seeing things or people or situations in black/white terms (good/bad, right/wrong, etc.), use more descriptive adjectives to describe these things. Instead of a situation just being horrible and awful, perhaps it was also hard, taxing, and exhausting, and maybe there were some things to be learned from it.

Boundaries That Work

06 June 2023/in Blog, Boundaries, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

Are you like most people and struggle with overcommitting and saying yes to everything? Then you will not want to miss the WHAS Great Day Live segment with Megan Bartley as she offers tips for setting healthy boundaries. Megan offers advice for setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care and references her online class on boundaries: The Art of Saying “No”: Boundaries That Work for You. By setting a time limit for events and reflecting on which events energize or drain us, we can protect our time and energy. It’s important to know when to say no and prioritize our well-being.

Set boundaries for self-care.

In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and it can be challenging to set aside time for self-care. However, it is crucial to establish healthy boundaries to protect our time and energy. Recently, Megan appeared on a WHAS segment and discussed the importance of setting boundaries for self-care.

Megan explained that it is natural to want to say yes to people who invite us to events. It feels good to be wanted, and we don’t want to disappoint others. However, saying yes to everything can be draining and exhausting, leaving us with little time and energy to take care of ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we invite others to do the same.

Setting boundaries can be challenging, as many people view it as being selfish. However, it is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. We need to know when we need downtime and protect our time and energy. It is essential to understand that we don’t always have to take care of everyone else and that it is okay to say no.

Megan suggests that we change our “shoulds” to “coulds.” Instead of feeling like we should do something, we can think about what we could do and decide what is best for us. If we feel like we need to attend an event, we can set boundaries to limit our time there, so we don’t get drained.

Boundaries are an art form.

The art of setting boundaries involves learning how to say no in a polite and respectful manner. People often tend to say yes to everything, even if they do not have the time or energy to do it. Megan suggests that it is better to say, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you” instead of saying yes right away. This way, we give ourselves time to decide if we want to commit to something or not.

Setting boundaries is not only about saying no to others but also about setting limits on our own behavior. We can empower ourselves and fix our own “problems” when we see how we contribute to the issue and become intentional about fixing it. When we to learn how to prioritize our time and energy, we can focus on the things that matter the most. This means learning how to say no to and for ourselves when we need to take a break or rest.

In conclusion, setting boundaries for self-care is essential to protect our time and energy. It is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. By setting boundaries, we invite others to take care of themselves, creating a healthier and happier community. The art of setting boundaries requires practice and patience, but it is worth it in the end.

Check out the Boundaries Class HERE!

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

WHAS The Art of Saying No: Boundaries That Work for You!

Shrinking

05 May 2023/in Anger, Blog, Podcast, Relationships, Stress, Therapy/by Megan Bartley

In this episode of the SOS Podcast, hosts Megan and Rob discuss the TV show “Shrinking,” which follows therapists as they navigate their own personal traumas and questionable boundaries with clients. Megan finds the show cringe-worthy but also humorous, while Rob is energized and motivated by the show’s portrayal of therapists working through their own issues. Overall, the hosts have an engaging conversation about the complexities of therapy and the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

What not to do as a therapist.

Therapists must be extremely careful not to tell their clients what to do. This is a boundary that must be respected in order to maintain the therapeutic relationship and ensure the client is receiving the best care possible. Unfortunately, this boundary is often crossed in the popular TV show Shrinking, where the main characters are therapists who sometimes tell their clients what to do, rather than allowing them to form their own conclusions and make their own decisions.

It is important to remember that the therapist is there to provide support and guidance, not to dictate how the client could live their life. A therapist could never use their power or authority to pressure a client into a certain decision or action. Instead, they could listen to the client and help them to explore their options and find the best solution for them. The client could be the one who ultimately makes the decisions about their life and how they want to move forward.

In Shrinking, the main characters often cross this boundary and tell their clients what to do, which can be damaging to the therapeutic relationship. This is especially true when the therapist is trying to help the client leave a toxic relationship or situation. In this case, the therapist could be careful to allow the client to make the decision for themselves and not pressure them into a certain action.

In addition to respecting the client’s autonomy, therapists could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form. This is when a therapist and client become involved in a relationship outside of the therapeutic setting, such as a friendship or romantic relationship. This can be dangerous as it can blur the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship and can lead to a conflict of interest.

In conclusion, it is important for therapists to remember not to tell their clients what to do and to respect their autonomy. They could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

Set healthy boundaries in therapy.

Therapy is a powerful tool that can help people work through difficult issues and gain insight into their lives. However, it is important to remember that it is a professional relationship and that it is important to set healthy boundaries. This is especially true when it comes to telling clients what to do.

Therapists could not be telling their clients what to do or what decisions to make. It is important to remember that the client is in control of their own life and they could be allowed to make their own decisions. Instead, therapists could focus on providing their clients with the information they need to make informed decisions. They could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them.

Therapists could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them. While it is natural for clients to become attached to their therapist, it is important to remember that the relationship is professional and could remain that way. Therapists could be aware of the signs of an unhealthy attachment and take steps to ensure that the client does not become too attached.

Finally, it is important to remember that the therapeutic relationship is based on trust. Therapists could strive to maintain this trust by being honest and open with their clients. They could also be aware of their own emotions and take steps to ensure that they are not projecting their own feelings onto their clients.

Setting healthy boundaries in therapy is essential to ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional and that the client receives the best care possible. Therapists could be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. They could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them and strive to maintain the trust between them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

Maintain healthy boundaries.

Boundaries are the guidelines that therapists use to maintain a professional, therapeutic relationship. They are essential to ensure that the client is receiving the best possible care. Boundaries could be established early on in the therapeutic relationship and could be discussed with the client. These boundaries could include the topics that will be discussed in therapy, the amount of contact between sessions, and the expectations of the therapist.

Boundaries could also be established to prevent dual relationships from forming. Dual relationships can occur when a therapist and a client become too close or when the therapist begins to treat a client like a friend. This can be damaging to the client and can lead to a breakdown in the therapeutic relationship. To prevent this, therapists could make sure that they maintain a professional relationship with their clients and that they do not share personal information or engage in activities outside of the therapy session.

Therapists could also be aware of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them. This can be a difficult situation for both the client and the therapist, as it can lead to feelings of guilt or confusion. To prevent this, therapists could strive to maintain a trusting relationship with their clients. They could also be aware of their own boundaries and be prepared to set limits when needed.

In conclusion, setting healthy boundaries in therapy is essential to ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional and that the client receives the best care possible. Therapists could be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. They could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them and strive to maintain the trust between them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

Mindfulness aids mental health.

Mindfulness has become an increasingly popular tool for helping people to manage their mental health. Mindfulness is a form of meditation that focuses on being present at the moment and paying attention to one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment. It has been found to be effective in treating a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and stress.

Mindfulness is beneficial for mental health in a number of ways:

First, it helps people to become more aware of their thoughts and feelings. This increased awareness can help people to identify patterns in their thoughts and feelings that may be contributing to their mental health issues. For example, if someone is feeling anxious, they may be able to recognize that they are ruminating on negative thoughts and feelings. This awareness can help them to take steps to address the underlying issue.
Second, mindfulness can help to reduce stress. When people are mindful, they are less likely to become overwhelmed by their thoughts and feelings. Instead, they can observe them without judgment and take steps to reduce their stress levels. This can be done through activities such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery.
Third, mindfulness can help to increase self-compassion. People who practice mindfulness are more likely to be kinder and more understanding of themselves. This can help them to be more accepting of their own mistakes and to be less critical of themselves. This can be especially beneficial for those who struggle with low self-esteem or perfectionism.
Finally, mindfulness can help to improve the quality of relationships. People who practice mindfulness are better able to be present in their relationships and to be more understanding of their partner’s feelings. This can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Overall, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for improving mental health. It can help people to become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, reduce stress, increase self-compassion, and improve their relationships. For these reasons, mindfulness is an important tool for mental health professionals and those seeking to improve their mental health.

Ways to practice mindfulness.

One way to practice mindfulness is to focus on the present moment. This can be done by focusing on the breath, observing thoughts without judgment, and being mindful of one’s physical sensations. By focusing on the present moment, we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, which can help us to better understand ourselves and our reactions to certain situations. This can also help us to become more aware of how we interact with others and how our behavior impacts our relationships.
Mindfulness can also be used to expand our perspective on certain issues. This can be done by questioning our assumptions and looking at situations from different angles. By doing this, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities and gain a better understanding of the situation. This can help us to make more informed decisions and find solutions that we may have overlooked before.
Lastly, mindfulness can be used to cultivate self-compassion. This can be done by recognizing our own pain and suffering and offering ourselves kindness and understanding. By doing this, we can learn to accept ourselves and our flaws, rather than judging ourselves harshly. This can help us to become more resilient in the face of difficult emotions and better able to cope with challenging situations.

Overall, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for improving mental health. It can help us to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, expand our perspective on certain issues, and cultivate self-compassion. By practicing mindfulness, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships, and find ways to better cope with difficult emotions and challenging situations.

Expand your compassion.

Einstein famously said, “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of our consciousness.” This quote speaks to the idea of expanding our compassion to include all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. When we are so caught up in our own narrow view of ourselves and what is best for us, we can easily forget the interconnectedness of all things.

Mindfulness can help us to expand our compassion in a number of ways. Firstly, it can help us to become more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, which can lead to greater understanding and empathy for others. Mindfulness can also help us to become more aware of our own biases and prejudices, and to recognize and challenge them. Finally, mindfulness can help us to recognize the interconnectedness of all things and to cultivate compassion for all living creatures.

To cultivate greater compassion, we can practice mindfulness through conflict. This means recognizing and accepting our own emotions and those of others and using them as a tool to become more mindful. We can also use mindfulness to become more open and compassionate towards those with whom we may disagree. Finally, we can use mindfulness to create a safe space to explore different perspectives and to become more mindful of our own beliefs and values.

By expanding our compassion, we can create a more peaceful and compassionate world. Through mindfulness, we can become more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, recognize our biases and prejudices, and cultivate understanding and empathy for others. We can also use mindfulness to become more open and compassionate towards those with whom we may disagree and to create a safe space to explore different perspectives. By expanding our compassion, we can create a more peaceful and compassionate world.

Trust your instincts.

Trusting your instincts is an important concept to remember in life. We all have a natural intuition that can help guide us in the right direction. By trusting our instincts, we can make decisions that are in our best interest and that will lead us to a more positive outcome.

However, it is important to remember that our intuition could not be the only factor in making decisions. We could also consider our own code of ethics and morals, as well as the opinions of those around us. It is important to be mindful of our own biases and prejudices and to be open to different perspectives. We could also be aware of our own limitations and be willing to seek advice and help from others when necessary.

Trusting your instincts is an important concept in life, but it could be balanced with other considerations. By being mindful of our own biases and prejudices, and by being open to different perspectives, we can make decisions that are in our best interest and that will lead us to a more positive outcome.

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Can Men and Women Be Friends?

05 May 2023/in Blog, Podcast, Relationships, Stress/by Megan Bartley

In this episode (Episode 12, 2022) of the SOS podcast, Megan Bartley and Rob Giltner discuss the dynamics of the friendship of letting go of preconceived notions and allowing conversations to unfold naturally. They also reflect on their experience creating the podcast and how it’s been going so far. They both express their joy and excitement about continuing the podcast and the valuable conversations they are having. Although they may not know everything, they both find the podcast helpful for their own growth and hope that listeners will find it helpful too.

Allow yourself to be open.

When it comes to being open and allowing yourself to experience life, it can be a difficult task. We often get caught up in our own thoughts and beliefs, and it can be hard to step outside of our comfort zone and be open to new experiences. However, allowing yourself to be open can be a rewarding and transformative experience.

The first step to being open is to be aware of your own thoughts and feelings. Take the time to explore your inner world and ask yourself questions such as, “What do I believe?”, “What do I want out of life?”, and “What do I need to feel fulfilled?” When you take the time to explore your own thoughts and beliefs, you can start to understand yourself better and gain insight into what you need to be open to.

The next step is to practice being open to different experiences. This can include trying new activities, meeting new people, or even exploring new ideas. When you take the time to open yourself up to new experiences, you can learn more about the world around you and gain a better understanding of different perspectives. This can lead to more meaningful connections and help you to become more open-minded.

Lastly, it is important to practice self-compassion. When you are open to new experiences, it can be difficult to accept yourself and your feelings. It is important to be gentle with yourself and to recognize that it is okay to make mistakes and to feel uncomfortable. When you practice self-compassion, you can be more open to the world around you and to yourself.

Being open can be a difficult task, but it can be a rewarding and transformative experience. When you take the time to explore your own thoughts and feelings, practice being open to new experiences, and practice self-compassion, you can start to open yourself up to the world around you and to yourself. Through this process, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you, and you can start to experience life in a more meaningful way.

No drama friends are best.

One of the best ways to practice being open is to make friends who are drama-free. Having friends who are drama-free can be incredibly beneficial because it allows you to have a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings without the added stress of drama. These friends can be a great source of support and understanding and can help you to stay grounded and focused on your goals.

When it comes to making drama-free friends, it is important to remember that it is not always easy. It can take some time to find people who are drama-free, but it is worth the effort. It is important to remember that it is not always about finding people who are drama-free, but rather finding people who are supportive, understanding, and open-minded.

When you find friends who are drama-free, it is important to remember that it is not a one-way street. You must also be supportive, understanding, and open-minded. This means that you must be willing to listen to your friends and be there for them when they need it. You must also be willing to be honest and open about your own thoughts and feelings. This can be a difficult process, but it can also be incredibly rewarding.

Having friends who are drama-free can be a great way to experience life in a more meaningful way. These friends can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings without the added stress of drama. They can also provide support, understanding, and openness. So, if you are looking for a way to experience life in a more meaningful way, consider making friends who are drama-free.

Set boundaries and intentions.

When it comes to friendships, it is important to set boundaries and intentions. This can help ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is healthy. Boundaries help define the limits of the relationship, while intentions help to clarify the purpose of the friendship. Setting boundaries and intentions can also help to ensure that the friendship is drama-free.

When it comes to setting boundaries, it is important to be clear and direct. Being clear about what is and isn’t acceptable in the friendship can help to ensure that everyone is on the same page. It is also important to be aware of your own boundaries and to communicate them to your friends. This can help to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

When it comes to setting intentions, it is important to be honest and open. This can help to ensure that your friendship is built on trust and understanding. Being honest and open about your intentions can also help to ensure that the relationship is drama-free.

Finally, it is important to remember that boundaries and intentions can change over time. As your friendship grows and evolves, it is important to reassess the boundaries and intentions of the relationship. This can help to ensure that the friendship remains drama-free and healthy.

Overall, setting boundaries and intentions can be a great way to ensure that your friendships are drama-free and healthy. By being clear and honest about your boundaries and intentions, you can ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is built on trust and understanding.

Understand sexual boundaries.

When it comes to understanding sexual boundaries, it is essential to be aware of your own intentions and to be mindful of the other person’s boundaries. It is important to be aware of the power dynamics at play and to ensure that no one feels uncomfortable or manipulated. In a therapeutic setting, it is important to remember that the focus should always be on helping the client, not on any kind of sexual energy.

When it comes to friendships, it is important to be aware of the lines that can be crossed. For example, if you are sending pictures or texts that could be interpreted as having a sexual connotation, it is important to be mindful of the other person’s feelings and boundaries. It is also important to recognize that not everyone may feel the same way about these types of interactions.

In any type of relationship, it is important to be aware of the boundaries and to communicate openly and honestly about them. It is also important to be aware of the power dynamics and to ensure that no one is feeling manipulated or taken advantage of. By being mindful of these things, you can ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is built on trust and understanding.

Progressively affirming and open.

The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is an example of a progressive and open environment. It is a place where everyone is accepted and respected, regardless of gender, sexuality, or religion. The seminary encourages its students to engage in open dialogue and to explore their own perspectives on various topics. This open dialogue allows students to learn from one another and to gain a better understanding of different perspectives.

The seminary also encourages its students to be aware of the power dynamics in any relationship, especially those between a therapist and a client. In this instance, it is important to be aware of the potential for a client to develop feelings for the therapist, and for the therapist to maintain an unconditional loving presence and to remain within the boundaries of their professional role. This helps to ensure that the client feels heard and understood, while also feeling safe and respected.

The movie When Harry Met Sally is a great example of this kind of progressive and open dialogue. In the movie, the two main characters, Harry and Sally, start off as friends but eventually develop feelings for each other. Through their conversations, they are able to explore their own perspectives and gain a better understanding of each other. This dialogue serves as a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship.

In conclusion, it is important to be mindful of the power dynamics in any relationship and to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and respected. The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is an example of a progressive and open environment, where open dialogue and understanding are encouraged. The movie When Harry Met Sally serves as a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship.

Boundaries are important for relationships.

Boundaries are important for relationships. In a healthy relationship, both parties should feel respected and safe. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that their needs are being met.

Boundaries are important for relationships for a variety of reasons. For example, boundaries can help protect against power dynamics in relationships. Power dynamics can be seen in relationships between people of different genders, sexual orientations, and social classes. When one person has more power than the other, it can lead to feelings of inequality and unfairness. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved in a relationship is respected and that their needs are considered.

Boundaries are also crucial for relationships because they help to maintain open and honest communication. Without boundaries, it can be difficult to talk about sensitive topics and feelings. Boundaries provide a safe space to talk about these topics without fear of judgment or criticism.

The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is a great example of a progressive and open environment that encourages open dialogue and understanding. At the seminary, students are encouraged to talk openly about gender, sexuality, and other sensitive topics. In one class, a student conducted an exercise in which everyone wrote down their gender identity and what gender they would be interested in dating or having intimacy with. This exercise showed the students that sexuality is on a spectrum and that people can have an attraction to different genders.

The movie When Harry Met Sally is another example of an open and affirming relationship. In the movie, Harry and Sally are able to maintain a platonic relationship while still being honest and open with each other. This is a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship.

Overall, boundaries are important for relationships. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved in a relationship is respected and that their needs are considered. The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and the movie When Harry Met Sally are two examples of how boundaries can help create open and affirming relationships.

Teach kids about consent.

When it comes to teaching kids about consent, it is important to start early. Kids need to understand that their bodies and their feelings are their own and that they have the right to say “no” to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. Teaching kids about consent goes beyond just saying “no means no.” It is important to talk to kids about what consent is and why it is important.

When talking to kids about consent, it is important to emphasize that consent is not just about physical contact. It is also about verbal and emotional boundaries. Kids need to understand that they have the right to set boundaries and that it is okay to say “no” even if someone is pressuring them to do something they don’t want to do. It is also important to talk to kids about how they can tell if someone is not respecting their boundaries.

It is also important to talk to kids about respecting the boundaries of others. Kids need to understand that just because someone says “yes” to something, it does not mean that they are obligated to do it. They need to understand that if someone says “no” then it is important to respect that decision.

It is also important to talk to kids about the concept of “alpha culture.” Alpha culture is a term used to describe a certain type of masculinity that is often associated with aggressive behavior and an attitude of entitlement. It is important to talk to kids about how this type of culture is damaging and how it can lead to unhealthy relationships.

Teaching kids about consent is an important part of raising healthy and respectful children. By talking to kids about boundaries, respect, and consent, we can help them to create relationships that are open, affirming, and respectful.

Explore different perspectives.

As parents, it is important to explore different perspectives when it comes to talking to kids about sex and consent. It is important to understand the different ways that people may view sex, consent, and relationships. Different cultures, religious backgrounds, and personal experiences can all shape our perspectives on these topics.

It is important to create an open dialogue with kids when it comes to talking about sex and consent. This can be done by using language that is respectful and non-judgmental. Asking questions and listening to the answers can help to create a safe and trusting environment. It is also important to use language that is age appropriate and that is not too complicated for young children.

It is also important to create an environment in which kids feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their feelings. This can be done by using positive affirmations and by avoiding shaming language. It is also important to recognize that kids may have different views and opinions on these topics and to allow them to express those views without judgment.

Exploring different perspectives can also help to create an environment in which kids feel empowered to make their own decisions. By giving kids the tools to make informed decisions, they can learn to respect themselves and others. Exploring different perspectives can also help to create a more inclusive and understanding environment.

In conclusion, exploring different perspectives when it comes to talking to kids about sex and consent is essential in raising healthy and respectful children. By creating an open dialogue and using positive affirmations, we can help kids to make informed decisions and to create relationships that are open, affirming, and respectful.

To listen to the Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) Podcast, CLICK HERE!

Megan Bartley, Mega, Bartley, Hand Mirroring, Hand, Mirroring, Hypnosis, Ernest Rossi

Hypnosis Made Simple: Hand Mirroring Exercise

05 May 2023/in Blog, Podcast, Self Love, Stress, Therapy, Trauma/by Megan Bartley

Megan Bayles Bartley here.

In our most recent episode (#27) of Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) Podcast (CLICK HERE to listen), I referenced a cool technique I’ve been reading about in Creating Consciousness: How Therapists Can Facilitate Wonder, Wisdom, Truth, & Beauty called Hand Mirroring. As promised in that episode I promised to make a video and offer it for you for free! Please fill out the form below to instantly receive the video link AND have the video link emailed to you! I hope you enjoy it!