Do I Stay or Do I Go?

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In general, relationships are tough, even for those who’ve been married, friends, or coworkers for years.

How do we recognize when a relationship is good for us or when a relationship isn’t good for us? Often, the lines are fuzzier than we’d like, black and white don’t apply, and we live in a foggy grey, feeling stuck. Sometimes happy. Sometimes frustrated. Almost always anxious. 

So much of this is normal. The images portrayed to us in movies or books present relationships, especially romantic relationships, and decisions that look easy. “The one” is always obvious. Friends are always funny and supportive. Sex is always amazing. Conversations over tough topics are nonexistent or minimal. So, when we encounter a real relationship and it doesn’t look like that, we really aren’t sure what to make of it, or how to assess if it’s “good” or not. Whether it’s a friend, coworker, or spouse, the proverbial question becomes, “do I stay or do I go?” 

Jennifer, Komis, Mindfulness, CenterAs a therapist, I specialize in helping people flourish, whether that means leaving a toxic relationship of some sort or working to improve a relationship in their life that’s worth it. I work with individuals who aren’t sure what they want and help them determine what’s a right choice for them, not THE right choice, as right choices are almost always multiple.

So, we talk about boundaries, feeling safe, communication, fears, hopes, and how in the world we might honor all of those things in the decisions we make for ourselves. We talk about how the messages we experience growing up sometimes influence how we see people or relationships now. We discuss how to choose what to do in our relationships, as opposed to living a life on autopilot that feels consistently unfulfilling. We make all the space we need to calmly tackle the hard questions about what the next steps might look like in workplaces, marriages, and friendships.

In short, I partner with you as you build a future you can be excited about and that nourishes you, mind, body, and spirit.

If this sounds interesting to you and you’d like to explore working with me, please feel free to schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation or first appointment with me HERE. I look forward to chatting with you!

self love

The Healing Power of Art

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Did you know that you can be creative without actually drawing?!

Art therapy is an “expressive therapy” like dancing, music, drama, and writing. The purpose is to express yourself in a way that works best for you and open up new ways of thinking. Making art can give you a sense of empowerment and confidence as you work through what is bothering you. The most important thing to remember is to relax and trust the process as you explore what your mind, body, and spirit are telling you so that you can heal.

Doing something physical and creative, creating something outside of ourselves, is a wonderful way to restore peace. Holding, touching, and experiencing the sensation of changing the art material into something we can relate to is very rewarding. It can be done with model magic, Play-Doh, or clay. Something happens as we tap into our feelings and just allow the natural process of creation to occur. It reminds me of simpler times when our ancestors would make their own pottery, furniture, and clothing.

The simple act of slowing down and connecting with our thoughts and feelings can be a wonderful journey to self-discovery. Oftentimes, people seek therapy when they have come to a point in their life where things have built up inside and they are having difficulty balancing or functioning. It is challenging to unlock these feelings by yourself. Having someone to talk to and validate your feelings can speed up the healing process.

Here are a few ways art therapy can help unlock the healing power of art:

Collage art is kind of like scrapbooking. You can combine colorful papers, magazine words, and various images to express yourself creatively. As you arrange the art materials on the paper it allows you to make sense of your world and what is going on inside of you so you can get a better understanding and clear your mind of the clutter that has been building up. It can be eye-opening when you look at the final product and see how the art tells your story.

Creating mandalas (circle-shaped designs), mosaic designs (small pieces of colored paper or materials arranged to provide texture), and Zentangles (tiny doodles, patterns, or spontaneous designs inside of a space) are great ways to get focused and lost in the zone as you slow down and connect with the art.

Painting gives you an opportunity to use the colors to unlock the feelings you have been holding inside. You may experience relief as the feelings appear on the paper and you can see what has been hurting you. Just holding the paintbrush in your hand can give you some emotional distance as the feelings move from inside of you onto the paper. Remember it is not about producing a beautiful piece of artwork it is more about healing and discovering what has been going on inside and letting it out.

Journaling is another way to experience this. You can play around with colored pencils, markers, crayons, and chalk or oil pastels which allows the intensity of your underlying feelings to appear visually with soft or vibrant colors. Something happens as the thought or feeling travels from your mind to your hand and on to the paper in front of you. It is a kind of release that can be a very emotional and healing experience depending on what you are expressing as you create your art.

Art therapy is for all people. Of course, children will benefit because they are so open to trying new things. After all, everything is new to them. They are eager to learn and love the colors because they are engaging and fun. When a child doesn’t know the words they can express themselves with art. It can give them a voice if they have been unable to talk about deep feelings. And, the same thing can happen with adults. Most of us do not make time for ourselves. However, finding time to explore what is causing our pain will provide comfort and relief so we can have more time for things that really matter to us.

If this sounds like an interesting experience for you, and you’d like to find out more, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

art therapy, art therapist, rachel martin, rachel

Rachel Taylor Martin, LPAT specializes in art therapy with people of all ages to help process, heal, and make sense of feelings and experiences that are hard to put words to. If you have a sense that art therapy could be an interesting experience and/or right for you, then likely it will be! Plus, there’s no need to be artistic! It is in the act of creating that healing and insight can come, not necessarily in the finished product. Creating art connects us to our subconscious which is full of wonderfully helpful information. Clients report Rachel is genuine, compassionate, holistic, and non-judgmental.

Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Rachel to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for you.

Find out more on Rachel’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

What is art therapy and how can it help people

Is Art Therapy Right for You?!

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Hello there! My name is Rachel Taylor Martin and I am a Licensed Professional Art Therapist. I’m wondering how long has it been since you colored, drew, or made some type of art. Unless you are artistic, you probably stopped making art around age 11 or 12. Creating art can help you to de-stress and relax. It can give you the opportunity to get lost (in the zone).

Have you heard the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words?” The reason behind this is that a single image can inspire many words. Art therapy helps us to work through our emotional issues.

When this occurs it can bring underlying thoughts and feelings to the surface where they can be examined and worked through. This can enhance and speed up the healing process. Sometimes we don’t have the words to describe how we are feeling inside. Art can increase self-awareness visually without using words, opening up a new way of expressing ourselves. It can be beneficial to anyone who is experiencing distress and looking for relief from the emotional pain that is keeping them from enjoying or moving forward in life.

Some of the people I have worked with have found the experience of art therapy eye-opening and empowering. It really doesn’t matter what age you are. Can you remember a piece of art you saw that took your breath away, really captured your attention, or made you more curious? Whether you experienced the artwork in person, in a book, or online art is powerful. It truly is a way of connecting with ourselves and others.

Here are some things I love about Art Therapy:

+ Art is universal
+It doesn’t matter how it turns out – it is about the art-making experience
+It can enhance the healing process
+It is a great way to take time for yourself which is self-care
+It can be a rewarding experience.
+It is a wonderful way to increase self-love and self-worth
+Sometimes just opening up and letting go of the things that have been causing you pain can provide a sense of peace and acceptance.
+Making art allows for self-reflection
+Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to learn something new which helps us to grow and become the best version of ourselves
+It can give you a chance to look within and discover what is actually bothering you so you can express it
+It can help you to organize your thoughts and improve clarity and focus
+It allows you to get in touch with your senses through various types of art media
+Connections can be made as you resonate with the art.
+It can provide quiet time

When we take time for ourselves and try new things it makes us feel better and gives us the courage to make the changes we want to make in ourselves and our lives. It can alleviate the pain we have been holding on to and give us relief. Art therapy is a way to restore a sense of well-being and help us become unstuck. Being open-minded and trusting the process can allow emotions to move through you as you experience the therapeutic value of art.

If this sounds like an interesting experience for you, and you’d like to find out more, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

art therapy, art therapist, rachel martin, rachel

Rachel Taylor Martin, LPAT specializes in art therapy with people of all ages to help process, heal, and make sense of feelings and experiences that are hard to put words to. If you have a sense that art therapy could be an interesting experience and/or right for you, then likely it will be! Plus, there’s no need to be artistic! It is in the act of creating that healing and insight can come, not necessarily in the finished product. Creating art connects us to our subconscious which is full of wonderfully helpful information. Clients report Rachel is genuine, compassionate, holistic, and non-judgmental.

Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Rachel to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for you.

Find out more on Rachel’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

How parents can use tools like self-compassion and reframing at home to help.

Tools for Your Parenting Toolbox: SELF-COMPASSION & REFRAMING

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Welcome back to the third and final post in my series on how we can support our kids by using some simple therapeutic strategies at home. I’m Kim Hamilton and a therapist at Louisville Mindfulness Center. I specialize in working with kids, teens, and parents to create family harmony. I love to support parents by offering them tools for their parenting toolbox to handle the stress and uncertainty that comes along with parenting.

In the past weeks, I have told you about three other tools  – Attunement, Emotional Literacy, and Self-Regulation. With these skills, you are able to take notice when your child needs a deeper level of attention, help them to understand what they are feeling and why, and give them tips on how to cope in the moment. Be sure to check out the previous posts for more detail!

Today I will share with you the final two tools: self-compassion and reframing.

SELF-COMPASSION

Give yourself and your child a break! If your child is hard on themselves, don’t just tell them to calm down. Instead, talk with them about the three steps to implement self-compassion:

  1. Acknowledge that you are experiencing pain and be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself increases well-being, reduces anxiety and depression and can help fend off other health issues like substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation.
  2. Recognize that you are not alone. We are so creatures and mostly all harbor some amount of empathy for other people. If someone around you is feeling anxious, you will most likely pick up on that and feel some anxiety. This is especially true for close relationships, like parents and children. 
  3. Put your experiences in perspective to moderate your own negative reactivity. If your child is having a high-intensity moment and you are feeling yourself getting worked up, instead of exploding, implement self-compassion instead. You can do this by speaking out loud or silently to calm yourself. Your child benefits regardless.
REFRAMING

This final tool is one of my favorites! When we get annoyed, mad, or frustrated with our kids, we often begin labeling them either out loud or in our heads. Instead of automatically going to that place, try thinking about other ways you can look at the situation.

By avoiding assumptions and judgments you can see and become open to other possibilities and can envision positive paths forward. For example, if your child is upset because they are having trouble with a friend, they may immediately go to the worst possible scenario and assume things like the friend doesn’t like them anymore or maybe even that nobody likes them. You can help them feel better by reframing the situation and asking questions like, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Is it forever or just temporary? Is it everybody?”

Help them to question the assumptions they are making and to think optimistically. This way they are able to see bad things as temporary and specific. It’s easy to generalize and view bad situations as permanent when we are sad or upset. By reframing, we can see the other, more realistic, possibilities.

I hope you have enjoyed learning these five skills and are now able to implement them into practice with yourself and with your family! By learning how to be a more effective parent and really listening to our kids, we build their resilience so they can be happy, motivated, and empowered.

If you have experimented with these tools with your children, I’d love to know how it went! Feel free to email me and let me know: Kim@LouisvilleMindfulnessCenter.com.

If you liked what you read and feel I could be of assistance to you and your family, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

Kim Hamilton, MAMFT specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents to bring emotional regulation and harmony to families and households. She works from a non-judgmental, solution-focused, non-pathologizing perspective that creates win-win scenarios within relationships. Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Kim to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for your family.

Find out more on Kim’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

 

 

*This blog was inspired by the Washington Post article: “Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope”

speaking your truth

Tools for Your Parenting Toolbox: EMOTIONAL LITERACY & SELF-REGULATION

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Welcome back to my series on how we can support our kids by using some simple therapeutic
strategies at home. My name is Kim Hamilton and I’m a therapist at Louisville Mindfulness Center. I
specialize in working with kids, teens, and parents to create family harmony. I love to support
parents by offering them tools for their parenting toolbox to handle the stress and uncertainty
that comes along with parenting.

Last time I talked about Attunement and discussed three ways of noticing when they need a
deeper level of attention, therefore strengthening our relationships with them and helping
them to better understand themselves and their feelings. We can do this by 1) paying attention,
2) reflecting, and 3) validating. If you missed it or want a refresher, you can check it out here.

Today I’ll share two more tools: emotional literacy and self-regulation.

EMOTIONAL LITERACY

Let’s start with Emotional Literacy. We can help our kids by helping them to understand their own feelings and how their body physically responds to those emotions. We’ve all experienced “butterflies” in our stomachs when we get nervous, but what about that stomach ache or headache; or that pressure in our chest or inability to catch a breath? What do they mean? When they can learn to tune in to their emotions, to become aware of them, and notice them, they will not only get better at managing their emotions but also at being able to predict them.

SELF-REGULATION

But what do we do when it is already happening?

When we are in the moment of strong emotion, it is difficult to regulate that feeling. Think about when your child is having a tantrum or has asked you 20 times for the same thing. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with emotions, which often lead to behaviors we may regret later. The same is true for kids when they are fighting with a friend or anxious about a big test.

By learning to self-regulate in those moments, we can be in control of how we react. Pausing and breathing intentionally is key to this.

One breathing technique I like is box breathing – breath in for four second, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and then hold for four seconds again.

You can also use grounding techniques like 5-4-3-2-1. Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. You can also go for a
walk, jump up and down, listen to music, or do anything else that helps.

Model this self-regulation to your kids and explain to them what you are doing. This will show them how they can also cope in the midst of difficult feelings.

I invite you to experiment with emotional literacy and self-regulation and see how it goes! Feel free to email me and let me know: Kim@LouisvilleMindfulnessCenter.com.

If you liked what you read and feel I could be of assistance to you and your family, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

 Kim Hamilton, MAMFT specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents to bring emotional regulation and harmony to families and households. She works from a non-judgemental, solution-focused, non-pathologizing perspective that creates win-win scenarios within relationships. Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Kim to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for your family.

Find out more on Kim’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

 

 

*This blog was inspired by the Washington Post article: “Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope”

Tools for Your Parenting Toolbox: ATTUNEMENT

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Parenting is hard. Period. But it is especially difficult and disheartening when your child is struggling and you don’t know how to best help them. Kids are experiencing unprecedented amounts of mental health issues due to the coronavirus pandemic, but we as parents can support them by using some simple therapeutic strategies at home. This will be the first in a series teaching you various healthy coping skills to implement with your children.

Hi! I’m Kim Hamilton. I’m a new therapist at Louisville Mindfulness Center. I specialize in working with kids, teens, and parents to create family harmony. I love to support parents by offering them tools for their parenting toolbox to handle the stress and uncertainty that comes along with parenting.

ATTUNEMENT

Let’s start with attuning. Our lives are busy chauffeuring kids to activities, helping with homework, making dinner, and still trying to fit in our own needs. It is easy to get caught up in the stress of it all and not pay attention to what is actually going on in our kids’ minds and lives. By noticing when they need a deeper level of attention, we strengthen our relationships with them and help them to better understand themselves and their feelings. So how exactly do we do attune?

Pay Attention

The first tool for your toolbox is to simply pay attention! Has their mood changed or has there been a shift to their normal routine? Take notice and dig deeper. They are most likely going to say they are fine and nothing is wrong, but don’t let the conversation stop there. Share with them what you are noticing and even offer a guess at what might be wrong in order to get the conversation started.

Reflect

Reflective listening is another tool that is great to use, not only with your kids but in all your relationships. Begin by listening closely to what they have to say. Then, repeat back to them what you heard them say in a paraphrased way. Lastly, ask your child if your understanding is correct and if you missed anything. For example, if they are arguing with a friend, ask them to explain to you what is going on. You can repeat back to them what you heard by saying, “What I heard you say is…Is that correct? Did I miss anything?” This will allow your child to process their emotions, consider how their actions contributed to the situation, and decide how to move forward.

Validate

Lastly, and possibly, most importantly, is validation. Your child may tell you something that you don’t like and is upsetting, and it is important for you as the parent not to react immediately. Just listen. Then validate their perspective instead of dismissing their feelings or trying to change their mind. As parents, we want to fix everything for our children. When we do this, when we fix things or give them the answer, they don’t experience the struggle that comes with the learning process. It’s ok for our kids to struggle a bit. Growth doesn’t happen without some discomfort. Validating doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but by acknowledging their pain, the struggle becomes easier for them and leads to behavior change.

I invite you to experiment with these steps to attune with your children. I’d love to know how it goes! Feel free to email me and let me know: Kim@LouisvilleMindfulnessCenter.com.

If you liked what you read and feel I could be of assistance to you and your family, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

 

Kim Hamilton, MAMFT specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents to bring emotional regulation and harmony to families and households. She works from a non-judgemental, solution-focused, non-pathologizing perspective that creates win-win scenarios within relationships. Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Kim to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for your family.

Find out more on Kim’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

 

 

*This blog was inspired by the Washington Post article: “Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope”

Join Us As We Meditate For Louisville, KY!! Sept. 11-21, 2022

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Louisville Mindfulness Center has been asked to partner with the Louisville Resonant City Peace Project as they assist the Global Peaceful Cities Project study the effects of 3500+ people joining forces to spread peace throughout Louisville during a two-week span of time. The intention is to decrease Louisville’s crime and violence rate by 25%. Previous cities have seen a 25+% reduction in crime and violence during the two weeks of meditation.

Are you interested in participating? Go to PeacefulCities.org to sign up to receive a daily email with a 20-minute guided meditation. This is a wonderful way to join as you’ll have a different member of the Louisville community devoted to peace leading you through that day’s meditation. Our fearless leader, Megan Bayles Bartley, will be leading one of the meditations… perhaps you can listen for her!

Join Megan and friends at the Kickoff Celebration on September 8th at 6:30pm – 740 Old Harrods Creek Rd.

Louisvile, Peace, Peaceful, Cities

Shifting Our Shit, Shifting Shit, Shit, Shifting, Podcast, Megan, Bartley, Rob, Giltner

Introducing Our NEW Podcast!!!

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Shifting Our Shit, Shifting Shit, Shit, Shifting, Podcast, Megan, Bartley, Rob, Giltner

 

After years of making guest appearances on podcasts and lots of encouragement from friends and clients to do my own, I have teamed up with one of Louisville Mindfulness Center’s very own therapist extraordinaire (and experienced podcaster), Rob Giltner. We talk candidly about our work with mindfulness and mental and emotional well-being. We also share plenty of our own personal stories so we can shift our shit right along with you!

Why stay Stuck With Sh!t when we can Shift Our Sh!t?!

UPDATE: We are now on SPOTIFY! (CLICK HERE TO LISTEN)  and APPLE Podcasts (CLICK HERE TO LISTEN). You will soon be able to find it wherever you normally get your podcasts AND we plan to release the video of our recordings as well! Sign up below to stay updated on new releases!

And thank you. Thank you all for all your encouragement. We couldn’t make this happen without you! <3 – Megan

A Gift For You!

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A Gift For You! 

We had a wonderful time during our Open House as Louisville Mindfulness Center celebrated its 5th anniversary!  We enjoyed catching up with friends and family from near and far with a few fun blasts from the past to boot! 

Again, we want to thank all of our supporters, whether you were able to make the event or not!! We are definitely feeling the love!

AND…. we want to spread that love even more! We are extending our half-price offer on our online courses through the month of July in honor of our anniversary! 

The two key online courses we currently have are “The Art of Saying No” and “Dealing With Difficult People”.

Whether you’re new to setting mindful boundaries, needing a quick yet comprehensive refresher on your boundary-setting skills, or you’re wanting to take your self-care practice to the next level, these wonderful, bite-sized videos are written and presented by Megan Bayles Bartley herself! For those of you who have spent time with Megan, you know she’s bursting with inspiration and empowerment to help you live your best life! You don’t want to miss out!

Plus, these courses are cheaper than ONE therapy session! Who can say “No” to that?! 

Check them out here: https://mindfulness-center.com/awaken-autopilot/

Setting Boundaries = Regain Your Time and Energy

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Many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be our best, most helpful, kind, and caring selves. People like us. They want to spend time with us. What a wonderful feeling! Yet sometimes we may just want and NEED time to ourselves.

When we let our boundaries slide or we feel guilty for saying no, we start to feel burnt out, exhausted, or even apathetic. Question: Are you ready to feel less stressed and anxious? Have you tried things in the past that have worked but need a refresher? Or does it feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work?

Our new self-paced, online courses are a wonderful way to learn and set boundaries that WORK! After twenty-plus years of refining our techniques, we are making our methods more accessible to more people so anybody can live their most optimal life.

Let’s face it, none of us need more to DO. So what if we could THINK a bit differently and that could make all the difference? Our courses help you see new perspectives and shift your thinking just enough that you are able to begin to rewire your brain. Sign. Me. Up!

Here are some questions to ask yourself if it’s time to refresh your skills and abilities on setting excellent boundaries and “The Art of Saying No”:

  • Are you needing to refocus your time and attention less on others and more on yourself?
  • Do you get pulled into helping others when you wish you could say “No”?
  • Do you feel guilty when others need help and you can’t or don’t want to help?
  • Are others encouraging you to set boundaries and reduce the amount you offer your time to others?
  • Are you ready to reclaim your time, your energy, and perhaps even your identity?
  • Are you ready to FEEL MORE ALIVE and excited about life?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, we have a tried and true solution for you.

Ultimately, we want you to feel lighter, freer, and more empowered.  Let us show you how!

CLICK HERE to find out more about our affordable self-paced online course options. 

 

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