Boundaries, Balance, and Being the Parent You Need to Be

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By Megan Bayles Bartley, LMFT

“My 12 year-old daughter thinks I’m the meanest parent in the world because I won’t let her go to the mall with a friend unsupervised. Am I being overprotective? Am I pushing her away by setting these limits?”

If you’ve ever asked yourself questions like these, you’re in good company. At The Mindfulness Center, I hear variations of this concern almost daily from parents trying to find the delicate balance between protection and freedom, between setting boundaries and supporting independence.

Let me offer you this reassurance: Boundaries aren’t barriers to connection—they’re the foundation for it.

The Paradox of Boundaries

Adolescents need two seemingly contradictory things from us: limits and freedom. They need to know that someone is keeping them safe, even as they’re driven to explore and take risks.

One father put it beautifully: “My son pushes against my boundaries constantly, but I can tell he’s actually checking to see if they’ll hold. There’s relief in his eyes when I stay firm, even as he’s arguing with me.”

Your teenager’s job is to push boundaries. Your job is to be the steady presence that holds them.

Setting Boundaries with Compassion

The way we set boundaries matters as much as the boundaries themselves. When we approach limit-setting from a place of fear or control, our teens naturally resist. When we set boundaries from a place of care and clarity, we invite understanding (even if it’s accompanied by some eye-rolling).

Try this mindful approach:

  • Connect before correcting (“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear…”)
  • Explain the values behind your boundary (“Your safety is my priority…”)
  • Acknowledge their feelings (“I understand you’re disappointed…”)
  • Offer appropriate choices within your boundary (“You can go to the mall with your friend if I can be nearby”)

This approach honors both your parental responsibility and your teen’s growing need for agency.

Creating Space for Your Own Needs

Parenting adolescents is exhausting, emotionally complex work. You cannot show up for this journey if you’re running on empty.

One mother shared how transformative it was when she started blocking out one hour each week just for herself: “I felt guilty at first. But I’m a better parent when I have that time to reconnect with myself. My son actually seems to respect me more now that I respect my own needs.”

What do you need to feel centered and resourced? Is it quiet time for reflection? Movement? Creative expression? Connection with other adults who understand your journey?

Whatever it is, claim it. Schedule it. Protect it.

This isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you honor your own boundaries and needs, you model self-respect for your teen. You show them that being a parent doesn’t mean being a martyr—it means being a whole, healthy human.

The Gift of Imperfect Parenting

In all my years as a therapist, I’ve never met a perfect parent. But I’ve met many courageous ones—parents who show up day after day, who apologize when they make mistakes, who keep trying even when it’s hard.

Your teen doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be real.

They need to see how you navigate your own emotions, set healthy boundaries, repair relationships, and treat yourself with compassion. These lived examples will shape them far more powerfully than any lecture or rule ever could.

So breathe deeply. Trust yourself. Remember that underneath all the emotional intensity of adolescence is a child who still needs your steady presence.

At The Mindfulness Center, we understand the unique challenges of parenting adolescents. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply want support on this journey, reach out. Our providers are all Marriage and Family Therapists and are experts in navigating relationships.

You are enough. You are not alone. And it’s okay to ask for support.

Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

 

Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT, is a proud member of The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and The International Society of Hypnosis.

She has written several contributions for the Ericksonian FoundationNewsletter multiple times! She’s even had her book RESET: Six Powerful Exercises to Refocus Your Attention on What Works for You and Let Go of What Doesn’t reviewed in the Newsletter. Read the review HERE!

train your brain

When Emotions Run High While Parenting Teens: Communicating Through the Storm

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By Megan Bayles Bartley, LMFT

We’ve all been there—standing in the kitchen, completely blindsided by our teenager’s emotional response to what seemed like a simple question. “How was your day?” somehow escalated into slammed doors and tears, leaving you wondering, “What just happened?”

Parents often come to me feeling like they’re walking on eggshells around their teens. They describe conversations that explode without warning and wounds that deepen with each miscommunication.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know something important: This isn’t a reflection of your parenting. It’s an invitation to a new way of connecting.

The Gap Between Intention and Impact

One parent told me, “I thought I was being supportive by offering solutions, but my daughter just kept saying I wasn’t listening. It took me months to realize that when she talked about a problem, she didn’t want me to fix it—she wanted me to understand how she felt about it.”

This gap between what we intend to communicate and what our teens actually receive is the source of so much unnecessary pain.

The Art of Reflective Listening

When emotions are high, the most powerful thing you can do is this: Listen to understand, not to respond.

Try this mindful approach:

  • Pause before responding (count to three in your head if you need to)
  • Reflect what you hear (“It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because…”)
  • Validate their emotional experience (“That makes sense. I can see why you’d feel that way”)
  • Ask what they need (“Would it help to talk more about this, or would you prefer some space?”)

When we respond from this place of presence, something shifts. The defensiveness begins to dissolve. The connection strengthens.

Repair Is More Important Than Perfection

Despite our best intentions, we will say the wrong thing. We will misunderstand. We will lose our patience.

And when that happens, we have an opportunity to model something profoundly important: how to repair relationship ruptures.

A sincere “I’m sorry I interrupted you. I really want to understand what you’re saying” goes further than perfect communication ever could. It shows our teens that relationships can withstand conflict—that love remains even when things get messy.

One mother told me how transformative it was when she started apologizing to her teenager: “It completely changed our dynamic. Now he apologizes too, without me asking. He’s learning that strong people admit when they’re wrong.”

Creating Space for Emotion

Many of us were raised to believe that certain emotions were unacceptable—that anger should be suppressed, that tears were a sign of weakness, that frustration should be overcome quickly and quietly.

If we want our teens to develop emotional intelligence, we need to make space for the full spectrum of feelings—theirs and ours.

Try saying: “It’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to be hurtful.” “I see that you’re upset. Your feelings matter to me.” “I’m feeling frustrated right now and need a moment to calm down before we continue this conversation.”

When we honor emotion without being controlled by it, we teach our teens to do the same.

Remember, through all the storms of adolescence, your relationship is the lighthouse. Keep it lit with presence, compassion, and a willingness to begin again.

In next month’s blog, we’ll explore how to set boundaries that respect both your needs and your teen’s growing independence. Until then, breathe deeply and trust that each moment of connection, however brief, is making a difference.

 

Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT, is a proud member of The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and The International Society of Hypnosis.

She has written several contributions for the Ericksonian FoundationNewsletter multiple times! She’s even had her book RESET: Six Powerful Exercises to Refocus Your Attention on What Works for You and Let Go of What Doesn’t reviewed in the Newsletter. Read the review HERE!

How Negative Capability can make us Better Humans

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by Ashley Vaden, LMFT

 

It was one of those Sundays when the weight of an endless to-do list—each task not insurmountable in itself—still managed to overwhelm me. Rather than spiral into endless doom scrolling, I reached for “The Antidote:  Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking” by Oliver Burkeman, and discovered a concept buried in the epilogue that resonated with me deeply:  Negative Capability.

Negative Capability, as the philosopher John Keats so eloquently defines, is the ability “to be in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” In other words, it’s about becoming comfortable with ambiguity instead of compulsively chasing neat, tidy answers. Burkeman emphasizes this in “The Antidote” by adding “sometimes the most valuable of all talents is to be able to not seek resolution; to notice the craving for completeness or comfort, and not feel compelled to follow where it leads.” In a culture that prizes certainty and quick fixes, learning to sit with the unknown can feel both rebellious and liberating.

What’s most brilliant and somewhat maddening about Negative Capability is that Keats was a mere 22 when he casually penned this concept in a letter after a drunken night with his pal, Dilke. Disgruntled by Dilke’s endless quest for definitiveness, Keats writes , “he will never come at a truth so long as he lives, because he is always trying at it.” Philosophers, historians and the like have been elaborating and musing on the concept of Negative Capability ever since. The neuropsychologist and author Paul Pearsall also seems to have been inspired by Keats’ wisdom, as Pearsall describes a kind of “openture,” where we open ourselves up to experiences of awe and even shock when we let go of the endless struggle for certitude.

I want to be clear that this is not about resigning ourselves to mediocrity. It’s more of an invitation to embrace life’s inherent messiness—recognizing that not ever mystery needs to be unraveled, and there is nothing noble about banging our heads against the wall. These reflections remind us that our relentless pursuit of the truth can blind us to the quiet beauty found in simply experiencing life as it unfolds. Negative here holding the dual meaning of “doing less” or “not doing,” and intentionally and willingly turning toward unpleasant emotions and sensations.

Frankly, I’m quite bored by the endless trope of platitudes—the insistence that we “have it all together.” In moments of vulnerability, the bravest thing we can do is sit with someone in the dark, offering no contrived advice or smug “I told you so’s,” but simply hold space and be present. Whether it’s the labyrinth of modern dating or the relentless demands of work, we’re conditioned to believe that every problem must have a swift solution, that we can manifest and abundance mindset our way out of suffering, and a gratitude practice means the end of our struggles. Yet sometimes the most profound wisdom is found in doing less—allowing ourselves and others to sit with discomfort and uncertainty, instead of feeling pressured to “know” or “fix” things immediately. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is to say “I don’t know why that happened to you” and believe that they have value and deservingness nonetheless.

We might connect with the concept of Negative Capability in our mindfulness practice. By simply learning to sit with discomfort from the perspective of observer, to face the negative emotion and take a step back,  by creating distance between ourselves and a preconceived identity and coinciding thoughts, we not only reduce anxiety but also build emotional resilience and adaptability over time. In embracing Negative Capability, we open ourselves to a more authentic way of being—a practice that values the journey over the destination, mystery over resolution, and quiet acceptance over frenetic striving. Perhaps in admitting that we don’t, and may never, have all the answers, we discover deeper and more resilient forms of peace. At the very least, it seems in our best interest to embrace with humility our humanness and discard the arrogance of recycled advice.

I’ve always taken issue with the idea that sociology and psychology are the “soft sciences,” not Nobel Prize worthy in and of themselves because they are less quantifiable and hard to credit to one person vs another. However, I argue that the hardest thing we can do is face uncertainty head on, and hold the hands of our loved ones as they venture to do the same.

 

After acquiring my Master’s Degree at the University of Rochester, I returned to my home state of Kentucky. For the past 5 years, I have been serving adults, teens, and couples at The Mindfulness Center. I help clients heal and grow through means of self compassion and self-derived skills. I have felt especially drawn to attachment theory and Internal Family Systems, as I have found them to be the most empowering and effective modalities for complex trauma and relational distress. I hope to help people make use of their suffering and find purpose and meaning through life’s struggles.

To schedule an appointment with me click here.

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3 Less Obvious Reasons to Start Therapy

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by Ashley Vaden, LMFT

  1. Therapy sharpens your critical thinking.

Many people assume therapy is just about processing emotions or revisiting the past, but it’s actually a tool for refining how you think. A therapist acts as an objective thought partner, helping you challenge assumptions, recognize blind spots, and weigh pros and cons without getting lost in self-doubt. They’ll ask questions that expose where your logic might not add up, helping you make decisions with clarity and confidence. Over time, you’ll become better at identifying patterns in your thinking, understanding how your beliefs shape your reality, and approaching problems with a clearer, more grounded perspective. This skill doesn’t just improve your personal life—it sharpens your ability to navigate work, relationships, and major life decisions.

  1. Therapy helps you become more comfortable with uncertainty.

Life is full of contradictions, and therapy teaches you how to hold opposing truths at the same time. This is called dialectical thinking—the ability to accept that two things can be true at once. You can take accountability without internalizing shame. You can feel hurt and still maintain boundaries. You can be a work in progress and love yourself as you are. Therapy helps you develop the emotional flexibility to navigate the grey areas of life without shutting down, overanalyzing, or needing a perfect answer. Instead of feeling stuck when things aren’t black and white, you’ll learn to sit with discomfort, embrace nuance, and make peace with uncertainty—an essential skill in both relationships and personal growth.

  1. A therapist acts as a mirror, not just a cheerleader.

Therapy isn’t just about encouragement—it’s about clarity. A good therapist will reflect back your patterns, strengths, and self-sabotaging tendences with precision. They’ll remind you not just of how far you’ve come, but of who you actually are, separate from the stories you tell yourself or have ingested from others. Therapy can help you notice which behaviors are moving you forward and which ones are holding you back. Sometimes real progress isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about seeing yourself accurately and recognizing when to pivot, when to be patient, and when to trust yourself.

A therapist won’t just validate your experience; they’ll challenge you to see it more fully. They’ll call attention to the areas where you minimize your achievements or over-identify with your struggles. They’ll help you track your growth with real, tangible evidence, so that when self-doubt inevitably creeps in, you’ll have proof that you’re evolving. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us of our resilience and who we are, and therapy does that with receipts.

 

When finding a therapist, I suggest you be choosy. Just like you may seek a second opinion after visiting the doctor, don’t be afraid to keep looking until you find a good fit. Try to find a therapist who is passionate working with your specific struggles, and one where you are their ideal client.

 

Ashley, vaden, therapist, couples, louisville

After acquiring my Master’s Degree at the University of Rochester, I returned to my home state of Kentucky. For the past 5 years, I have been serving adults, teens, and couples at The Mindfulness Center. I help clients heal and grow through means of self compassion and self-derived skills. I have felt especially drawn to attachment theory and Internal Family Systems, as I have found them to be the most empowering and effective modalities for complex trauma and relational distress. I hope to help people make use of their suffering and find purpose and meaning through life’s struggles.

 

To schedule an appointment with me click here.

The Gifts of Depression

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by Ashley Vaden, LMFT

 

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase:  make use of suffering.” These words, attributed to Henri-Frederic Amiel, hold a quiet truth that many of us resist. Depression, in all its weight and misery, feels like the enemy—something to escape, numb, or conquer. But what if depression were not an adversary, but a guide? An indicator or your next rite of passage?

 

Carl Jung reminds us that depression is not necessarily pathological. Often, it signals the need for profound change, a harbinger of transformation. Depression, when viewed through this lens, becomes less a punishment and more a messenger, carrying within it the potential for psychological renewal and creativity.

 

To “depress” means to “press down,” to force us into the depths of our own psyche. And though this descent is painful, is it purposeful. Depression pulls our energy and focus inward, away from the external world and distractions that we so often fixate upon. It demands that we stop looking outward for meaning and instead confront what lies within—the forgotten, the suppressed, the unconscious treasure of our own being.

 

James Hollis writes “It takes great courage to value depression, to respect it, not to try and medicate it away or distract ourselves from its misery. Down there is potential meaning split off from consciousness, but alive, dynamic.” Beneath the heaviness, beneath the despair, depression points us to what is hidden:  our instincts, passions, creative drives, and the fragments of our true selves. Depression serves as an opportunity to sift through our value system and determine what matters most. What we often experience as unbearable heaviness is, paradoxically, the weight of something alive struggling to emerge.

 

This descent into the depths is not a journey to be resisted. What we resist, after all, persists. The greatest treasures lie at the deepest places. Depression teaches us to dig, sift, and to descent without resistance, and unearth the psychological gold buried beneath. Yet, this does not mean identifying with depression or becoming lost within it. There is power in maintaining objectivity—in stepping back and observing it, not as something we are but as a part of us with something to teach.

 

In modern society, depression is heavily stigmatized, often seen as a personal failing or a condition to be cured quickly and quietly. We have little tolerance for its presence and even less space for expression. Thomas Moore in Care of the Soul challenges this perspective by suggesting that we reframe our relationship with depression entirely. Rather than pushing it to the margins of our lives, Moore argues that we create intentional spaces for depression—quiet, solitary sanctuaries within our communities. Imagine office buildings with dedicated rooms for solitude, , where people can retreat to sit with their feelings without shame or interruption. By making room for depression, not as an inconvenience but as a natural and meaningful part of life, we begin to strip away the stigma and embrace its potential to transform and renew us.

When we allow ourselves to sit with depression, to listen without judgement, it reveals its purpose:  to elicit dynamic change, to force a reorientation of the soul. It reminds us of what we have neglected within ourselves. Depression is not the end; it is the beginning of a renewal, a signpost pointing toward transformation and meaning.

 

So, when depression visits, as unwelcome as it may feel, consider this:  what lies beneath its weight? What treasure is hidden in the depth of it urges you to explore? It is in the descent, in the courage to feel and observe, that we begin to rise.

 

After acquiring my Master’s Degree at the University of Rochester, I returned to my home state of Kentucky. For the past 5 years, I have been serving adults, teens, and couples at The Mindfulness Center. I help clients heal and grow through means of self compassion and self-derived skills. I have felt especially drawn to attachment theory and Internal Family Systems, as I have found them to be the most empowering and effective modalities for complex trauma and relational distress. I hope to help people make use of their suffering and find purpose and meaning through life’s struggles.

 

To schedule an appointment with me click here.

The Gift of Nothing

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One of the ways I practice self-care is regular float therapy appointments—90 minutes effortlessly floating in a dark and silent tank filled with 1000+ pounds of Epsom salt—it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I come away from my floats with relaxed muscles and a quieted mind. Before my most recent float I noticed an illustrated book on the table in the waiting area called The Gift of Nothing by Patrick McDonnell. It is about Mooch (the cat) who desperately wants to get his friend Earl (the dog) a gift for the holidays. Mooch notices Earl already has everything he needs and asks himself, “What do you give a guy who has everything?” Mooch comes up with the perfect gift: nothing!

 

It was a cute book that only took a couple of minutes to read, but it has had me thinking about nothing all week—and how nothing can be a gift.

 

As we anticipate a new year, it’s easy to feel the pressure to set grand resolutions, start fresh, and make huge changes to our lives. But what if, instead of diving into a list of “new year, new me” goals, we embrace something a little different in 2025? What might it look like to give ourselves the gift of nothing? This doesn’t have to be about doing less or being inactive. It’s about creating space—space for stillness, reflection, mindfulness, and maybe even silence. It’s about slowing down enough to be in the present moment without the constant push to achieve or prove ourselves.

 

Here are some ways I’ve been considering giving myself the gift of nothing in 2025—or at least a little more mindfulness—maybe some of these will resonate with you or spark your own ideas:

 

  1. Taking a Technology Break
    Unplugging from my phone, computer, and TV for set periods of time. It may be as little as 30 minutes or as long as a weekend—time to allow my mind to decompress and my eyes to rest.

 

  1. Walking Without Purpose
    Taking walks with no particular destination in mind. Walking slowly, noticing how my body feels with each step, and how the air feels on my skin. Paying attention to the sights and sounds around me—the rustling of leaves or the distant chatter of birds. Not rushing to be anywhere, but simply walking to feel my body move.

 

  1. Cooking or Eating Without Distractions
    Cooking a meal without multitasking—not checking emails, scrolling through social media, or listening to podcasts while I’m making dinner. Focusing solely on the food in front of me: the colors, textures, smells, and the process of preparing it. When I’m eating, savoring each bite. Enjoying the flavors and the sensations of eating, without rushing or distractions. Noticing how it feels to be able to nourish myself.

 

  1. Doing Nothing for 5 Minutes
    Setting a timer for five minutes and doing absolutely nothing. Not checking my phone or scrolling through emails (there seems to be a pattern here!). Not making plans. Just sitting quietly, breathing, and being with (or without) my thoughts. Creating space for clarity, creativity, and sense of relaxation.

 

  1. Pausing Before Responding
    When someone speaks to me, instead of immediately responding, taking a short pause. Giving myself a moment to truly hear what they’re saying, and to reflect before offering an answer. This mindful pause can help improve communication, reduce the likeliness that I say “yes” to something I actually want to say “no” to (leading to feelings of resentment), and deepen my connection with others.

 

  1. Create a “Nothing” Zone

Designating a spot—maybe a cozy chair, a corner of the couch, or my car—as my “nothingness” zone. Spending a few minutes there daily, where I’m not checking email, planning errands, or doing chores. Just being. (And giving myself permission that yes, it’s okay if I end up zoning out for a while—sometimes that’s exactly what I need!)

 

At the end of The Gift of Nothing, Mooch discovers that the gift of nothing isn’t really nothing at all—it’s the gift of time, connection, and presence. While this makes for a nice children’s story, it may not feel practical in the adult world of deadlines, responsibilities, and to-do lists. The idea of doing nothing might sound counterintuitive, even indulgent, a luxury afforded to people who already have it all together. But what if doing nothing could actually be one of the most productive things we can do?

 

The good news is we don’t need hours of free time to benefit from nothingness. We don’t have to be on vacation to find stillness. We can do nothing right in the middle of our busy days. Small moments—whether it’s a few minutes of deep breathing, a mindful walk, a silent car ride, or savoring a meal—can reset our nervous systems and have a big impact on our mood, communication, and ability to be present with ourselves and for those we love.

 

If you would like to explore ways you might be able to give yourself the gift of nothing—experiencing more peace and steadiness as a partner, friend, parent, employee, caregiver, or leader, please reach out for a free consult call to see if we may be a good fit to work together: https://schedulewithlmc.as.me/BrittRiddle. I would love to help you explore ways to manage stress and anxiety, reduce burnout, and clarify your boundaries!

 

Britt, Riddle, Religious, Spiritual, Development, Injury

Originally from Louisville, Britt moved back to pursue a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. Prior to becoming a therapist, Britt received a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree and served as a minister in congregations in Virginia and Kentucky. In her free time, she can be found doing all the introvert things: writing, creating, reading, and practicing meditation and yoga.

Hypnosis for Anxiety

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Hypnosis for Anxiety

A Group Class for PTSD, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias, Pain, & All Around Deep Relaxation!

Are you ready to move beyond the limiting experiences of PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, phobias, or pain? If you answered an enthusiastic “HECK YES!” then this could be a wonderful healing opportunity for you. 

Ericksonian Hypnosis is used to relax the conscious mind just enough to allow YOUR subconscious mind to heal itself. After all, YOU know what’s BEST for YOU!!! It is the ultimate form of natural healing. At no time will you be “out-of-control” but rather you will GAIN more control!

I have been practicing hypnosis for years in a variety of ways and am excited to offer this wonderfully healing tool in a group setting in 2025!

To find out more or to REGISTER, CLICK HERE!

Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT is a proud member of The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and The International Society of Hypnosis.

She has written several contributions for the Ericksonian Foundation Newsletter multiple times! She’s even had her book RESET: Six Powerful Exercises to Refocus Your Attention on What Works for You and Let Go of What Doesn’t reviewed in the Newsletter. Read the review HERE!

Megan LOVES using hypnosis as a healing modality! It is very empowering and we are confident you could love it too!

 

 

 

 

 

Care for the Caregivers

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Care for the Caregivers
by Britt Riddle

 

If you’re part of the Sandwich Generation, you’re probably all too familiar with the balancing act—you’re “sandwiched” between trying to raise and support your kids (maybe adult ones) while also caring for aging parents, managing a career and family responsibilities, and keeping your own life together. It’s a lot. While there may be moments of joy or gratitude, caregiving can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and at times, resentful.

How can you take care of yourself while taking care of others? Let’s look at some strategies for managing burnout, reducing compassion fatigue, and dealing with resentment—without feeling guilty for needing a break.

The Stress of Being in the Sandwich Generation

  1. The Never-Ending To-Do List

Between making sure your kids have everything they need—whether you are driving carpool or helping adult children adjust to the realities of adulthood—and keeping your parents’ health on track (doctor visits, medications, grocery shopping), the to-do list can seem never-ending.

  1. Mixed Feelings

Even when you step into a caregiving role by choice because you want to be there for your family, it can still feel overwhelming. Seeing your parents age or dealing with their health issues is emotionally taxing. There may be guilt that comes with feeling like you’re not doing enough, or that you’re not spending enough quality time with your partner and friends. It’s okay to have mixed feelings—you can love your family and still feel exhausted by the responsibility.

  1. Resentment: The Unspoken Burden

Maybe you’re doing most of the caregiving while other family members are less involved (or live out of town), or maybe you feel like your own needs are constantly pushed aside. Feeling like you’re the one doing the bulk of the caregiving can build up frustration and resentment over time. And when that happens, it can start affecting how you feel about your caregiving role—and the people you’re caring for.

  1. Feeling Alone in the Responsibility

Caregiving can be isolating. If your siblings live far away or aren’t able to help as much, or if you’re handling things on your own, it can feel lonely. It’s hard to ask for help, especially when you you’re the one who has always there for everyone.

Coping with Caregiver Burnout, Compassion Fatigue, and Resentment

How can you manage all of this without burning out, feeling overwhelmed, or letting resentment take over? Here are some ways to take care of yourself while caring for your loved ones.

  1. Acknowledge That Caregiving Is Hard

Caregiving, especially when you’re balancing so many responsibilities, is hard. It’s easy to feel like you “should” always be positive about it because you’re doing it out of love, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be emotionally and physically draining. It’s okay to admit that it’s tough. You might feel guilty for not always being cheerful or for sometimes resenting the responsibility—but those feelings are normal. Acknowledge them and give yourself grace.

  1. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

One of the hardest things about caregiving is the pressure to do it all yourself. Whether it’s family expectations or your own desire to handle it all, asking for help can feel like a last resort. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to do it alone. If you have siblings or other relatives, reach out to them. They might not know how overwhelmed you are unless you tell them. If you’re managing things on your own, consider hiring a professional caregiver for your parents or getting help with household tasks. Even small amounts of outside support can lighten the load and let you know you’re not alone.

  1. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)

It’s easy to feel like you need to be available 24/7 for both your kids and your parents, but setting limits to protects your own well-being—and is an act of self-compassion. Setting boundaries means being clear about what you can and can’t take on—whether that’s saying no to extra commitments or asking for help when you’re feeling stretched too thin. It’s okay to say no to things that aren’t essential.

  1. Make Time for Yourself

Self-care can feel impossible when you’re constantly giving to others, but it’s crucial. Even just a few minutes of “me time” can help you reset and recharge. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or enjoying a cup of coffee in a quiet moment, find something that allows you to feel more grounded and less overwhelmed.

  1. Talk Openly About How You’re Feeling

Resentment and overwhelm can be difficult emotions to name, but it’s important to talk about it. You don’t have to bottle up those feelings. Sit down with your partner or family members and explain how you’re feeling—whether it’s stress, exhaustion, or the need for more support. They might not realize how much you’re carrying, and having an open conversation can help ease some of that tension. It’s also a way to remind everyone that caregiving is a team effort, not just one person’s job.

Being part of the Sandwich Generation can feel like you’re constantly giving of your time and energy, but it’s important to remember that your needs matter, too. By setting boundaries, asking for help, and carving out time for yourself, you can reduce the risk of burnout and make sure that you’re able to continue caring for your loved ones without sacrificing your own health and well-being. You deserve to be supported, too.

One way I enjoy helping clients who are in caregiving roles is to work on identifying personal values. Clarifying values allows us to get clear about what is most important to us—the why of what we do and the choices we make. This helps us set boundaries and feel more confident in the things we “yes” and “no” to—all of which increases our sense of agency and reduces the likelihood of feeling resentment and burnout.

If you are struggling with caregiver stress or burnout or think you might be heading in that direction, you do not have to go it alone! Please reach out for a free consult call to see if we may be a good fit to work together: https://schedulewithlmc.as.me/BrittRiddle. I would love to help you explore ways to manage stress, clarify your boundaries, and cultivate your caregiver burnout toolbox.

Britt, Britt Riddle, Religious trauma

 

Originally from Louisville, Britt moved back to pursue a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. Prior to becoming a therapist, Britt received a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree and served as a minister in congregations in Virginia and Kentucky. In her free time, she can be found doing all the introvert things: writing, creating, reading, and practicing meditation and yoga.

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So, what is professional burnout?

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So, what is professional burnout?
by Britt Riddle

 

I remember the moment I received a letter from my retirement benefits company that forecasted the year of my anticipated retirement. In what seemed like slow motion, I put the letter on the table next to where I was standing and said out loud to myself, “No? No. No!” Something in my gut knew things were going to have to change. Symptoms of professional burnout had been creeping in for years—occasional fatigue that turned into constant exhaustion, minor health inconveniences that shifted into autoimmune responses, and weeks filled with tasks that, while once deeply meaningful, now felt frustrating and tedious. I enjoyed the people I worked with, but I realized the long hours, the caregiving role, and my personality as an introvert meant the work was not sustainable for me long-term.

It was this realization that led me back to school to become a therapist. I wanted to learn more my own burnout experience as well as the experience of so many of my colleagues in helping professions. And I didn’t just want to learn about it, I wanted to learn how to recover from it, or better yet, prevent it.

So, what is professional burnout?

Professional burnout is more than feelings of temporary stress. It occurs when the demands of your job (e.g., excessive workload, unrealistic expectations, lack of decision-making, inadequate support from management or colleagues, deadlines, fundraising goals, meetings, or customer/client complaints) outweigh the resources you have to meet the demands (e.g., budget, team members, skillsets, technology, time, realistic expectations, and emotional support) over a period of time. Burnout tends to show up in people who are in caregiving roles, high-pressure work environments, or those who feel a lack of agency in how they do their work.

What does burnout look like?

Burnout symptoms come in all different forms and look different for each person, but there are some common themes:

  • Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling drained, fatigued, and unable to cope with daily demands.
  • Depersonalization: Developing a cynical attitude toward your job, colleagues, or the people you serve, leading to emotional detachment.
  • Reduced Performance: A noticeable decline in productivity and/or effectiveness in your role.
  • Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomach issues, and sleep disturbances
  • Decreased Satisfaction: A loss of enjoyment and motivation for your work, even in tasks that used to bring you joy.

How can we prevent burnout?

I recently came across the work of cognitive neurobiologist, Dr. Sahar Yousef—she proposes a 3M framework that provides a simple (though not necessarily easy) structure for reducing stress, preventing burnout, and increasing work-life balance. Dr. Yousef’s 3M framework includes planning your day, week, and month around these kinds of breaks:

Macro (big) breaks: a full or half day of rest every month

Meso (medium) breaks: 2-4 hours of rest every week

Micro (small) breaks: a few minutes of rest every day

“Rest” in this context doesn’t just mean not working, but invites us to consider how to find small moments when we can actually allow our mind and body to disconnect and reset—creating stretches of time, even if brief, when we do not have responsibility for anything or to anyone.

Other burnout prevention strategies include:

  • Regular Check-Ins: Taking a weekly or monthly assessment of your stress levels (some people find it helpful to gauge stress on a 1-10 scale so changes can be easily identified) can help you notice early stages of stress that you can take actions to reduce before it turns into burnout.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in activities that recharge you, such as exercise, hobbies, and quality time with friends and family.
  • Identify & Establish Boundaries: Set clear work hours and make time for breaks to disconnect from work responsibilities.
  • Seek Support: Talking to colleagues, friends, or a therapist can provide validation and strategies for coping.
  • Professional Development: Engaging in training or workshops can provide fresh skills and perspectives, reigniting your passion for work.

One way I enjoy helping clients who are wanting to prevent or recover from burnout is to work on identifying personal values. When our values don’t align with our workplace culture or expectations, we may experience significant stress and/or burnout. Clarifying values allows us to get clear about what is most important to us—the why of what we do and the choices we make. This helps us set boundaries and feel more confident in saying “yes” and “no” when making decisions—all of which increases our sense of agency and reduces the likelihood of burnout.

My own experience with burnout helps me hold on to hope for my clients who may feel stuck on the seemingly never-ending hamster wheel of workplace expectations and demands. If you are struggling with burnout or think you might be heading in that direction, you do not have to go it alone!

Please reach out for a free consult call to see if we may be a good fit to work together: https://schedulewithlmc.as.me/BrittRiddle. I would love to help you explore ways to reduce stress, clarify your boundaries, as well as cultivate your burnout prevention toolbox.

 

Britt, Britt Riddle, Religious traumaOriginally from Louisville, Britt moved back to pursue a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. Prior to becoming a therapist, Britt received a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree and served as a minister in congregations in Virginia and Kentucky. In her free time she can be found doing all the introvert things: writing, creating, reading, and practicing meditation and yoga.

 

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