COVID-19 Archives - The Mindfulness Center

Elizabeth, McCormack, Florida, therapist, mindfulness

Meet Boundary Expert, Elizabeth McCormack, LMFT

09 September 2023/in Blog, Boundaries, COVID-19, Podcast, Relationships/by Megan Bartley

Elizabeth McCormack talks about boundaries for your life!

Boundary expert, Elizabeth McCormack’s, journey to becoming a therapist began in the Midwest. She grew up in Illinois and graduated from high school in Bloomington, just a couple of hours outside of Chicago.

After high school, Elizabeth attended Hanover College in southern Indiana. As a Presbyterian, she was drawn to the college’s religious affiliation. During her four years at Hanover, Elizabeth developed a passion for understanding and helping others. This passion led her to pursue a career in therapy.

In 2001, Elizabeth enrolled in graduate school at the Louisville Presbyterian Seminary in Kentucky. It was there that she met Megan, who would later become her close friend and colleague. The two formed a bond that has lasted over 20 years.

Throughout her journey, Elizabeth has lived in various places, including Austin, Texas, and Tucson, Arizona. These experiences exposed her to different cultures and perspectives, further shaping her understanding of human behavior and the importance of mental health.

Elizabeth’s desire to help people problem solve and listen to their problems all day led her to become a therapist. She finds fulfillment in guiding individuals through their challenges and helping them find solutions. Elizabeth’s empathetic nature and ability to create a safe space for her clients make her an excellent therapist.

The COVID-19 pandemic presented an opportunity for Elizabeth to expand her practice. With the ability to renew licenses in multiple states, she now sees clients both in Florida, where she currently resides, and in Kentucky. Elizabeth’s familiarity with both areas makes her a valuable option for clients who may relocate from the Midwest to Florida.

As a therapist, Elizabeth understands the importance of following the rules and laws governing her profession. While state lines may currently limit her ability to see clients in certain locations, she remains hopeful that these restrictions will be resolved in the future. Elizabeth believes that the future holds a more inclusive and accessible approach to therapy.

Boundaries are important for self-care.

One key aspect of Elizabeth’s approach to therapy is her emphasis on boundaries. She believes that boundaries are essential for self-care and maintaining emotional well-being. This belief is rooted in her own experiences and observations of the world around her.

Elizabeth recognizes that we live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with external influences and the emotions of others. It can be easy to absorb these feelings and allow them to dictate our own behavior. Elizabeth firmly believes that our job is not to fix the emotions of others, but rather to be in control of our own.

For Elizabeth, boundaries serve as a protective barrier against the negative emotions and energy that can be draining and detrimental to our own well-being. By setting boundaries, we can create a space where we prioritize our own emotions and needs, rather than being at the mercy of external factors.

One way Elizabeth teaches this concept to her clients is through the metaphor of Spongebob. She explains that just like Spongebob, we shouldn’t be “sponges” that absorb the feelings of everyone around us. Instead, we should focus on paying attention to our own emotions and taking care of ourselves.

This emphasis on boundaries is not limited to individuals, but also extends to relationships. Elizabeth believes that healthy relationships are built on clear and respectful boundaries. By establishing and maintaining boundaries, we can create a space where both parties feel safe and respected. This allows for open and honest communication, fostering deeper connections and understanding.

Elizabeth’s training at the Presbyterian Seminary further reinforced her belief in the importance of relationships and boundaries. She recognizes that relationships are not just about our interactions with others, but also the relationship we have with ourselves and with a higher power. By setting boundaries, we can navigate these relationships in a healthy and balanced way.

Stay in control of yourself.

Elizabeth discusses the importance of staying in control of oneself. She uses examples such as driving in traffic and parenting to illustrate how maintaining emotional boundaries can lead to healthier relationships and overall well-being.

One of the first examples Elizabeth mentions is observing people who try to zip through traffic, disregarding others and showing that they are in more of a hurry. She suggests that instead of getting caught up in their behavior and trying to override them, it is important to focus on what is in our own lane. This means taking care of ourselves and being aware of the emotional state of others around us. By staying in control of our own emotions, we can provide empathy and compassion without absorbing the emotions of others. This approach is more helpful and allows us to be good listeners rather than getting overwhelmed ourselves.

Elizabeth also applies this concept to parenting. She highlights the importance of letting children experience their own emotions, even if they are tough or overwhelming. Instead of getting overwhelmed with them, she suggests that parents should stay calm and provide support and understanding. By staying in control of their own emotions, parents can create a safe space for their children to express themselves and process their feelings. This approach allows children to learn how to handle their emotions and develop resilience.

The idea of staying in control of oneself is not limited to driving or parenting. Elizabeth also mentions how therapists practice this concept in their work. Therapists do not join their clients in their emotional state but instead stay in their own lane and provide a safe space for clients to explore their emotions. This approach allows therapists to offer guidance and tools for clients to handle life stressors effectively.

The key message throughout the podcast is that staying in control of oneself is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and emotional well-being. By setting and maintaining boundaries, individuals can prioritize their own needs and protect their emotional state. This allows for more effective communication, empathy, and understanding in relationships. It also enables individuals to navigate challenging situations with a greater sense of control and agency.

If you want to hear more about how boundaries would be beneficial in your life, make sure to check out Season 2, Episode 5 of Shift Our Shit!

When the Dust Settles: Avoiding Gaslighting, Toxic Positivity, & External Validation

04 April 2020/in COVID-19/by The Mindfulness Center

Written by Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT

In Julio Vincent Gambuto’s brilliant article, “Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting” we see that the treadmill we’ve been on for a decade has abruptly stopped. When life returns to “normal” or some semblance of a “new normal” the economy is going to need a huge boost and we will be sold a lie that we need stuff to soothe ourselves from the trauma we’ve experienced due to COVID-19.

Gambuto’s article refers to Gaslighting as: “Manipulation into doubting your own sanity.” The example he gives is, “Carl made Mary think she was crazy, even though she clearly caught him cheating. He gaslit her.”

The last several weeks of realizing that the treadmill is broken and there’s no way we’re ever getting back on it has been a traumatic experience whether we realize it yet or not. While we’re “in” the traumatic experience we go into survival mode (fight, flight, or freeze) to get through it. It’s not until the trauma has stopped and things go ‘back to normal” that we begin to see the effects of trauma unfold.

Most of us are quite resilient and will recover from the isolation of this pandemic just fine. Some of us will be shaken up for a while and need help getting our bearings. If this is you, therapy can be extremely helpful. Look for a wonderful therapist who will validate your experience and allow you to move beyond it as you are ready. Don’t get caught up in toxic positivity which forces you to think that if you aren’t “staying positive” something’s wrong with you. That’s a load of shit. You are human and your moods are watery, shifting and changing with the tides. A good therapist helps you make friends with the ocean so you can navigate it and find the balance that is best for you in each new moment as you ride the wave of life.

Click here to read the full article!

5 Easy and Practical Ways to Calm Yourself During COVID-19

03 March 2020/in COVID-19/by The Mindfulness Center

Written by Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT

I think I have COVID-19! I’m having a hard time breathing, my chest feels tight, and I’m more tired than normal. Or perhaps it’s just my wonderful friend Anxiety, reminding me I’m still alive and kicking.

Here are five things you can do to welcome your friend, Calm, into your life during this time:

1. Blow out Birthday Candles!

Say what?! Yup! When you are holding your breath, you already have a breath of air in so you want to focus on your exhale. Forcefully blowing out air and squeezing every last bit of air out of your lungs invites your body to breathe a deep breath in on the inhale. Do this a few times and it feels wonderfully invigorating!

2. Get clear on what you have control over and what you don’t have control over.

The easy answer is: You don’t have any control over COVID19, you only have control over yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Even if it sometimes feels like you don’t, you can learn how to do this. What you don’t have control over is anyone or anything else — what they do, what they say, how they think, how they feel, or how this whole pandemic plays out.

3. Focus on Your Five Senses

Take a moment, or two, wherever you are, to focus on each of your five senses — sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. Encourage yourself to find descriptive words for each sense you notice. Being curious and noticing counteracts the desire to judge or evaluate things. Allow what you notice to be just as it is without it being good or bad, right or wrong, you like it or don’t like it.

Click here to read the full article!

The Extrovert’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving COVID-19

03 March 2020/in COVID-19/by The Mindfulness Center

Written by Ashley Vaden, LMFT

It’s a basic human need to feel connected to others, and more importantly, connected to ourselves. The fact is, we are all in this together, and we share much more in common than we realize. Everyone knows what it feels like to be alone, or have your mental health rocked in a time of confusion or uncertainty. Here’s how to make the most of it:

Get creative.

There are a lot of posts/messages on social media about making this a productive time; to really buckle down and tackle projects that you haven’t had time for, read that book you’ve always wanted to read, and start that hobby that has always felt like a distant dream. The truth is, it’s great to get stuff done and “be productive,” but because this is a difficult time, we might be placing a little bit too much pressure on ourselves to “be our best selves” and “live the life you’ve always imagined.” While we are not advocating that you neglect our responsibilities, shun your school work, and stay in our pjs all day (although, we’re not against it), we are saying that instead of framing your quantity of work to equal a successful day, why don’t you give yourself he chance to be creative?

Is there any creative endeavor you’ve wanted to research, learn about, or even try? This is the time to go for it. Not only will you be more present because you’re learning something new, it adds an extra built in layer of meaning to your day that doesn’t have to come from getting stuff done. You are more than a number; use your imagination. Connect with your sense of wonder, your curiosity, your passion, your interests. Ask yourself, “what inspires me?” and run with it.

We know the words “mindfulness” or “meditation” may make your eyes glaze over.

But hear us out! Just 30 minutes of self-compassion a day has shown to make a positive impact on mood and increased happiness (Desmond, 2017). Doing this practice may add some much needed structure to your day and help to cultivate joy. A lot of people think that if they just focus on the future and the fact that one day the quarantine will be over, as soon as that day comes, they will be so happy! Full of energy! Thankful, blessed! However, our happiness doesn’t always work that way.

Most of the time, our happiness is kind of programmed to stay at a certain level, and if we aren’t intentional about smelling the roses and thinking about what we’re thankful for, even just in the current moment, then our happiness levels tend to drop and may take a while to comeback up. Kind of like if you don’t go to the gym for a while you can get out of shape. If you are intentionally working toward being positive during this time, you’re much more likely to be able to bounce right back when this is but a distant nightmare.

Take a few minutes to focus on your breath. Try taking 5 deep breaths, slowly in and out, and notice how your breath feels in your nose, and in your throat.
Focus on feeling thankful for breath. Focus on breathing in positivity and joy, and breathing out anything that is negative and does not serve your body or mind.
Identify and locate any positive sensations, thoughts, or feelings in your body, and imagine these growing, almost like a flower blooming. Welcome them to become as big as they want or even to stay the same.
Take a minute to write down what you noticed in the exercise and 3 things you are thankful for that day.

Volunteer and reach out.

If you’re catching yourself complaining, know that it’s ok, and that you can offset it by reaching out to someone or helping someone. We aren’t here to compare pain, or feel sorry for ourselves and others; we’re in this together, and there is always someone out there who maybe has it a little or a lot harder.

That’s not said to bring on feelings of shame, but more to make you aware that you can help someone in this time. There is a problem out there and all it needs is someone to care enough to fix it. If you’re naturally inclined to want to be around people and connect with them, find out how you can become involved in community efforts to make an impact. Your generation has so much to contribute that you may not even be aware of! This is an opportunity for you to notice a deficit and bring light to it with your natural talents, gifts, abilities, and interests.

Social distancing doesn’t have to mean social neglect; organize a Go Fund me with your friends, or even reach out to someone that you’ve been meaning to check on. This could be a great time to build relationships. Maybe someone that you’ve always wanted to know more about is feeling lonely at this time too; wouldn’t it be a great opportunity to connect or find out more about someone that you may not have had the opportunity to in the past? What if they are wanting to talk to someone just as much as you are?