Continuting education, mindfulness, megan, bartley

Meet Megan Bayles Bartley

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Megan Bayles Bartley is a mental health and relationship expert. Over the last twenty years, she has honed her unique skills as a therapist and now shares her knowledge with you on her podcast – Shifting Our Shit. In Part 1 of this episode, she talks about her past and how she ended up becoming a therapist. Listen further to Episode 1, Part 2 where she talks about her own experience with therapy over the last 30-plus year.

About Megan.

 

In this episode, Megan addresses the common feeling of being stuck in a routine, like a hamster on a hamster wheel, and not making any progress. She acknowledges the midlife stage as a time for reassessment and reflect on whether if she has accomplished all that she has set out to do in life and if she feels fulfilled. It is normal to question what is working and what is not during this phase.

 

Megan emphasizes the importance of reclaiming one’s time, energy, and joy in order to make the most out of the second half of life. She invites listeners who resonate with these feelings to join her on this podcast journey. She introduces herself as Megan Bayles Bartley and expresses her excitement about hosting the podcast solo, though she will be accompanied by the therapy dog, Lemon Drop.

 

Megan shares her background, starting with growing up in Seattle, Washington, and attending the University of Washington. She initially wanted to become a naturopathic physician and created her own major called Community Health Management. However, after struggling with hard science classes, she switched gears and explored art as a potential career path. Eventually, her interest in wellness versus illness led her to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy at the Presbyterian seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

 

During her time in Tucson, Arizona, working for the Presbyterian Church, Megan discovered her passion for listening, talking, and counseling while interacting with students at the University of Arizona. This experience prompted her to pursue a career as a therapist. With the church’s support, she applied to a seminary program that offered a degree in marriage and family therapy. This field aligned with her systemic approach, focusing on understanding individuals within the context of her various systems and influences.

 

Megan moved to Louisville, Kentucky, to pursue her master’s degree and had a great experience. She met her husband while in Louisville but eventually moved to Austin, Texas, where she practiced as a therapist for 11 years. Nine years ago, they returned to Louisville and started her solo therapy practice.

 

The podcast episode ends with Megan’s introduction to the upcoming season, where she will explore mindfulness and the Mindfulness team. However, the overarching theme of reassessing and reclaiming one’s life remains prevalent throughout the episode.

 

Finding peace in midlife.

After three years of starting a solo therapy practice in Louisville, Megan decided to expand and create the Mindfulness Center, a space for therapists to practice and develop their own practice within. 

 

The goal of the Mindfulness Center is to help people find peace, joy, and a sense of calm in their lives.

 

  • Megan shares that her own experience of being a fairly anxious person in her younger years, growing up in an emotionally unstable household, led her to become controlling and perfectionistic. She emphasizes the importance of therapy in her own life and how it has shaped her as the founding director of the Mindfulness Center.

 

  • Megan also discusses the challenges that many high-functioning individuals face as they reach their 40s and 50s. She refers to this stage as the “fuck it 40s,” where individuals may feel overwhelmed, tired, and worn out. It is a time of redefining one’s life and asking important questions about what they want out of life and how they want to live the second half of their life.

 

  • Megan acknowledges that many high achievers find it difficult to give themselves permission to not constantly achieve and to simply enjoy where they have gotten to. High achievers explore the idea of finding fulfillment in relaxation and enjoying the present moment, which can be challenging for those who are type A personalities.

 

  • The episode also touches on the idea of preparing for the future, such as when children leave the house and exploring new opportunities for travel or personal growth. Megan discusses her own mindset of always looking for the next challenge and how she enjoys taking on home improvement projects.

 

Prioritize self-awareness as a therapist.

Therapists play a crucial role in helping individuals navigate through their emotional and mental struggles. They provide support, guidance, and tools for personal growth and healing. However, it is essential for therapists to prioritize self-awareness in their own lives. This podcast episode emphasizes the significance of therapists seeking their own therapy and being self-aware in their practice.

 

  • One of the main reasons therapists could prioritize self-awareness is to ensure they are providing the best possible care to their clients. By engaging in therapy themselves, therapists gain insight into their own emotions, triggers, and biases. This self-reflection allows them to better understand their clients’ experiences and offer more empathetic and effective treatment. It also helps therapists recognize and address any personal issues that may interfere with their ability to provide unbiased and objective support.

 

  • Moreover, therapists who prioritize self-awareness are more likely to be high-functioning professionals. Megan mentions that clients may not go further than their therapists have gone, suggesting that therapists need to continuously challenge themselves and strive for personal growth. Being aware of their own emotional state and personal limitations allows therapists to better manage their own well-being and prevent burnout. It also enables them to model healthy coping mechanisms and resilience for their clients.

 

  • Furthermore, self-aware therapists are better equipped to handle the complexities and nuances of therapy. As Megan suggests, therapists who are emotionally aware can adapt to the ever-changing dynamics of each session. They can respond appropriately to their clients’ needs and emotions, creating a safe and supportive environment for healing. By being self-aware, therapists can also recognize when they need to seek consultation or refer clients to other professionals who may be better suited to address specific issues.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

Megan, Bartley, Claudia, Coffey, WHAS, Great Day, Live, Boundaries, that work, How to learn, boundaries

Boundaries That Work

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Are you like most people and struggle with overcommitting and saying yes to everything? Then you will not want to miss the WHAS Great Day Live segment with Megan Bartley as she offers tips for setting healthy boundaries. Megan offers advice for setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care and references her online class on boundaries: The Art of Saying “No”: Boundaries That Work for You. By setting a time limit for events and reflecting on which events energize or drain us, we can protect our time and energy. It’s important to know when to say no and prioritize our well-being.

Set boundaries for self-care.

In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and it can be challenging to set aside time for self-care. However, it is crucial to establish healthy boundaries to protect our time and energy. Recently, Megan appeared on a WHAS segment and discussed the importance of setting boundaries for self-care.

 

Megan explained that it is natural to want to say yes to people who invite us to events. It feels good to be wanted, and we don’t want to disappoint others. However, saying yes to everything can be draining and exhausting, leaving us with little time and energy to take care of ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we invite others to do the same.

 

Setting boundaries can be challenging, as many people view it as being selfish. However, it is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. We need to know when we need downtime and protect our time and energy. It is essential to understand that we don’t always have to take care of everyone else and that it is okay to say no.

 

Megan suggests that we change our “shoulds” to “coulds.” Instead of feeling like we should do something, we can think about what we could do and decide what is best for us. If we feel like we need to attend an event, we can set boundaries to limit our time there, so we don’t get drained.

Boundaries are an art form.

The art of setting boundaries involves learning how to say no in a polite and respectful manner. People often tend to say yes to everything, even if they do not have the time or energy to do it. Megan suggests that it is better to say, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you” instead of saying yes right away. This way, we give ourselves time to decide if we want to commit to something or not.

 

Setting boundaries is not only about saying no to others but also about setting limits on our own behavior. We can empower ourselves and fix our own “problems” when we see how we contribute to the issue and become intentional about fixing it. When we to learn how to prioritize our time and energy, we can focus on the things that matter the most. This means learning how to say no to and for ourselves when we need to take a break or rest.

 

In conclusion, setting boundaries for self-care is essential to protect our time and energy. It is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. By setting boundaries, we invite others to take care of themselves, creating a healthier and happier community. The art of setting boundaries requires practice and patience, but it is worth it in the end.

Check out the Boundaries Class HERE!

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

 

WHAS The Art of Saying No: Boundaries That Work for You!

Elizabeth McCormack,

Shrinking

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In this episode of the SOS Podcast, hosts Megan and Rob discuss the TV show “Shrinking,” which follows therapists as they navigate their own personal traumas and questionable boundaries with clients. Megan finds the show cringe-worthy but also humorous, while Rob is energized and motivated by the show’s portrayal of therapists working through their own issues. Overall, the hosts have an engaging conversation about the complexities of therapy and the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

What not to do as a therapist.

Therapists must be extremely careful not to tell their clients what to do. This is a boundary that must be respected in order to maintain the therapeutic relationship and ensure the client is receiving the best care possible. Unfortunately, this boundary is often crossed in the popular TV show Shrinking, where the main characters are therapists who sometimes tell their clients what to do, rather than allowing them to form their own conclusions and make their own decisions.

It is important to remember that the therapist is there to provide support and guidance, not to dictate how the client could live their life. A therapist could never use their power or authority to pressure a client into a certain decision or action. Instead, they could listen to the client and help them to explore their options and find the best solution for them. The client could be the one who ultimately makes the decisions about their life and how they want to move forward.

In Shrinking, the main characters often cross this boundary and tell their clients what to do, which can be damaging to the therapeutic relationship. This is especially true when the therapist is trying to help the client leave a toxic relationship or situation. In this case, the therapist could be careful to allow the client to make the decision for themselves and not pressure them into a certain action.

In addition to respecting the client’s autonomy, therapists could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form. This is when a therapist and client become involved in a relationship outside of the therapeutic setting, such as a friendship or romantic relationship. This can be dangerous as it can blur the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship and can lead to a conflict of interest.

In conclusion, it is important for therapists to remember not to tell their clients what to do and to respect their autonomy. They could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

 

Set healthy boundaries in therapy.

Therapy is a powerful tool that can help people work through difficult issues and gain insight into their lives. However, it is important to remember that it is a professional relationship and that it is important to set healthy boundaries. This is especially true when it comes to telling clients what to do.

Therapists could not be telling their clients what to do or what decisions to make. It is important to remember that the client is in control of their own life and they could be allowed to make their own decisions. Instead, therapists could focus on providing their clients with the information they need to make informed decisions. They could also be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them.

Therapists could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them. While it is natural for clients to become attached to their therapist, it is important to remember that the relationship is professional and could remain that way. Therapists could be aware of the signs of an unhealthy attachment and take steps to ensure that the client does not become too attached.

Finally, it is important to remember that the therapeutic relationship is based on trust. Therapists could strive to maintain this trust by being honest and open with their clients. They could also be aware of their own emotions and take steps to ensure that they are not projecting their own feelings onto their clients.

Setting healthy boundaries in therapy is essential to ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional and that the client receives the best care possible. Therapists could be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. They could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them and strive to maintain the trust between them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

Maintain healthy boundaries.

Boundaries are the guidelines that therapists use to maintain a professional, therapeutic relationship. They are essential to ensure that the client is receiving the best possible care. Boundaries could be established early on in the therapeutic relationship and could be discussed with the client. These boundaries could include the topics that will be discussed in therapy, the amount of contact between sessions, and the expectations of the therapist.

Boundaries could also be established to prevent dual relationships from forming. Dual relationships can occur when a therapist and a client become too close or when the therapist begins to treat a client like a friend. This can be damaging to the client and can lead to a breakdown in the therapeutic relationship. To prevent this, therapists could make sure that they maintain a professional relationship with their clients and that they do not share personal information or engage in activities outside of the therapy session.

Therapists could also be aware of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them. This can be a difficult situation for both the client and the therapist, as it can lead to feelings of guilt or confusion. To prevent this, therapists could strive to maintain a trusting relationship with their clients. They could also be aware of their own boundaries and be prepared to set limits when needed.

In conclusion, setting healthy boundaries in therapy is essential to ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional and that the client receives the best care possible. Therapists could be aware of the potential for dual relationships to form and take steps to avoid them. They could also be mindful of the potential for their clients to become too attached to them and strive to maintain the trust between them. By following these guidelines, therapists can ensure that their clients receive the best care possible and that the therapeutic relationship is maintained.

Mindfulness aids mental health.

Mindfulness has become an increasingly popular tool for helping people to manage their mental health. Mindfulness is a form of meditation that focuses on being present at the moment and paying attention to one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment. It has been found to be effective in treating a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and stress.

Mindfulness is beneficial for mental health in a number of ways:

  1. First, it helps people to become more aware of their thoughts and feelings. This increased awareness can help people to identify patterns in their thoughts and feelings that may be contributing to their mental health issues. For example, if someone is feeling anxious, they may be able to recognize that they are ruminating on negative thoughts and feelings. This awareness can help them to take steps to address the underlying issue.
  2. Second, mindfulness can help to reduce stress. When people are mindful, they are less likely to become overwhelmed by their thoughts and feelings. Instead, they can observe them without judgment and take steps to reduce their stress levels. This can be done through activities such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery.
  3. Third, mindfulness can help to increase self-compassion. People who practice mindfulness are more likely to be kinder and more understanding of themselves. This can help them to be more accepting of their own mistakes and to be less critical of themselves. This can be especially beneficial for those who struggle with low self-esteem or perfectionism.
  4. Finally, mindfulness can help to improve the quality of relationships. People who practice mindfulness are better able to be present in their relationships and to be more understanding of their partner’s feelings. This can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Overall, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for improving mental health. It can help people to become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, reduce stress, increase self-compassion, and improve their relationships. For these reasons, mindfulness is an important tool for mental health professionals and those seeking to improve their mental health.

Ways to practice mindfulness.

  • One way to practice mindfulness is to focus on the present moment. This can be done by focusing on the breath, observing thoughts without judgment, and being mindful of one’s physical sensations. By focusing on the present moment, we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, which can help us to better understand ourselves and our reactions to certain situations. This can also help us to become more aware of how we interact with others and how our behavior impacts our relationships.
  • Mindfulness can also be used to expand our perspective on certain issues. This can be done by questioning our assumptions and looking at situations from different angles. By doing this, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities and gain a better understanding of the situation. This can help us to make more informed decisions and find solutions that we may have overlooked before.
  • Lastly, mindfulness can be used to cultivate self-compassion. This can be done by recognizing our own pain and suffering and offering ourselves kindness and understanding. By doing this, we can learn to accept ourselves and our flaws, rather than judging ourselves harshly. This can help us to become more resilient in the face of difficult emotions and better able to cope with challenging situations.

Overall, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for improving mental health. It can help us to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, expand our perspective on certain issues, and cultivate self-compassion. By practicing mindfulness, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships, and find ways to better cope with difficult emotions and challenging situations.

Expand your compassion.

Einstein famously said, “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of our consciousness.” This quote speaks to the idea of expanding our compassion to include all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. When we are so caught up in our own narrow view of ourselves and what is best for us, we can easily forget the interconnectedness of all things.

Mindfulness can help us to expand our compassion in a number of ways. Firstly, it can help us to become more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, which can lead to greater understanding and empathy for others. Mindfulness can also help us to become more aware of our own biases and prejudices, and to recognize and challenge them. Finally, mindfulness can help us to recognize the interconnectedness of all things and to cultivate compassion for all living creatures.

To cultivate greater compassion, we can practice mindfulness through conflict. This means recognizing and accepting our own emotions and those of others and using them as a tool to become more mindful. We can also use mindfulness to become more open and compassionate towards those with whom we may disagree. Finally, we can use mindfulness to create a safe space to explore different perspectives and to become more mindful of our own beliefs and values.

By expanding our compassion, we can create a more peaceful and compassionate world. Through mindfulness, we can become more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, recognize our biases and prejudices, and cultivate understanding and empathy for others. We can also use mindfulness to become more open and compassionate towards those with whom we may disagree and to create a safe space to explore different perspectives. By expanding our compassion, we can create a more peaceful and compassionate world.

Trust your instincts.

Trusting your instincts is an important concept to remember in life. We all have a natural intuition that can help guide us in the right direction. By trusting our instincts, we can make decisions that are in our best interest and that will lead us to a more positive outcome.

However, it is important to remember that our intuition could not be the only factor in making decisions. We could also consider our own code of ethics and morals, as well as the opinions of those around us. It is important to be mindful of our own biases and prejudices and to be open to different perspectives. We could also be aware of our own limitations and be willing to seek advice and help from others when necessary.

Trusting your instincts is an important concept in life, but it could be balanced with other considerations. By being mindful of our own biases and prejudices, and by being open to different perspectives, we can make decisions that are in our best interest and that will lead us to a more positive outcome.

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

Men, Women, friends, Just be friends,

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

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In this episode (Episode 12, 2022) of the SOS podcast, Megan Bartley and Rob Giltner discuss the dynamics of the friendship of letting go of preconceived notions and allowing conversations to unfold naturally. They also reflect on their experience creating the podcast and how it’s been going so far. They both express their joy and excitement about continuing the podcast and the valuable conversations they are having. Although they may not know everything, they both find the podcast helpful for their own growth and hope that listeners will find it helpful too.

 

Allow yourself to be open.

When it comes to being open and allowing yourself to experience life, it can be a difficult task. We often get caught up in our own thoughts and beliefs, and it can be hard to step outside of our comfort zone and be open to new experiences. However, allowing yourself to be open can be a rewarding and transformative experience.

 

  1. The first step to being open is to be aware of your own thoughts and feelings. Take the time to explore your inner world and ask yourself questions such as, “What do I believe?”, “What do I want out of life?”, and “What do I need to feel fulfilled?” When you take the time to explore your own thoughts and beliefs, you can start to understand yourself better and gain insight into what you need to be open to.

 

  1. The next step is to practice being open to different experiences. This can include trying new activities, meeting new people, or even exploring new ideas. When you take the time to open yourself up to new experiences, you can learn more about the world around you and gain a better understanding of different perspectives. This can lead to more meaningful connections and help you to become more open-minded.

 

  1. Lastly, it is important to practice self-compassion. When you are open to new experiences, it can be difficult to accept yourself and your feelings. It is important to be gentle with yourself and to recognize that it is okay to make mistakes and to feel uncomfortable. When you practice self-compassion, you can be more open to the world around you and to yourself.

 

Being open can be a difficult task, but it can be a rewarding and transformative experience. When you take the time to explore your own thoughts and feelings, practice being open to new experiences, and practice self-compassion, you can start to open yourself up to the world around you and to yourself. Through this process, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you, and you can start to experience life in a more meaningful way.

 

No drama friends are best.

One of the best ways to practice being open is to make friends who are drama-free. Having friends who are drama-free can be incredibly beneficial because it allows you to have a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings without the added stress of drama. These friends can be a great source of support and understanding and can help you to stay grounded and focused on your goals.

 

When it comes to making drama-free friends, it is important to remember that it is not always easy. It can take some time to find people who are drama-free, but it is worth the effort. It is important to remember that it is not always about finding people who are drama-free, but rather finding people who are supportive, understanding, and open-minded.

 

When you find friends who are drama-free, it is important to remember that it is not a one-way street. You must also be supportive, understanding, and open-minded. This means that you must be willing to listen to your friends and be there for them when they need it. You must also be willing to be honest and open about your own thoughts and feelings. This can be a difficult process, but it can also be incredibly rewarding.

 

Having friends who are drama-free can be a great way to experience life in a more meaningful way. These friends can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings without the added stress of drama. They can also provide support, understanding, and openness. So, if you are looking for a way to experience life in a more meaningful way, consider making friends who are drama-free.

 

Set boundaries and intentions.

When it comes to friendships, it is important to set boundaries and intentions. This can help ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is healthy. Boundaries help define the limits of the relationship, while intentions help to clarify the purpose of the friendship. Setting boundaries and intentions can also help to ensure that the friendship is drama-free.

 

When it comes to setting boundaries, it is important to be clear and direct. Being clear about what is and isn’t acceptable in the friendship can help to ensure that everyone is on the same page. It is also important to be aware of your own boundaries and to communicate them to your friends. This can help to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

 

When it comes to setting intentions, it is important to be honest and open. This can help to ensure that your friendship is built on trust and understanding. Being honest and open about your intentions can also help to ensure that the relationship is drama-free.

 

Finally, it is important to remember that boundaries and intentions can change over time. As your friendship grows and evolves, it is important to reassess the boundaries and intentions of the relationship. This can help to ensure that the friendship remains drama-free and healthy.

 

Overall, setting boundaries and intentions can be a great way to ensure that your friendships are drama-free and healthy. By being clear and honest about your boundaries and intentions, you can ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is built on trust and understanding.

 

Understand sexual boundaries. 

When it comes to understanding sexual boundaries, it is essential to be aware of your own intentions and to be mindful of the other person’s boundaries. It is important to be aware of the power dynamics at play and to ensure that no one feels uncomfortable or manipulated. In a therapeutic setting, it is important to remember that the focus should always be on helping the client, not on any kind of sexual energy.

 

When it comes to friendships, it is important to be aware of the lines that can be crossed. For example, if you are sending pictures or texts that could be interpreted as having a sexual connotation, it is important to be mindful of the other person’s feelings and boundaries. It is also important to recognize that not everyone may feel the same way about these types of interactions.

 

In any type of relationship, it is important to be aware of the boundaries and to communicate openly and honestly about them. It is also important to be aware of the power dynamics and to ensure that no one is feeling manipulated or taken advantage of. By being mindful of these things, you can ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that the relationship is built on trust and understanding.

 

Progressively affirming and open.

The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is an example of a progressive and open environment. It is a place where everyone is accepted and respected, regardless of gender, sexuality, or religion. The seminary encourages its students to engage in open dialogue and to explore their own perspectives on various topics. This open dialogue allows students to learn from one another and to gain a better understanding of different perspectives. 

 

The seminary also encourages its students to be aware of the power dynamics in any relationship, especially those between a therapist and a client. In this instance, it is important to be aware of the potential for a client to develop feelings for the therapist, and for the therapist to maintain an unconditional loving presence and to remain within the boundaries of their professional role. This helps to ensure that the client feels heard and understood, while also feeling safe and respected. 

 

The movie When Harry Met Sally is a great example of this kind of progressive and open dialogue. In the movie, the two main characters, Harry and Sally, start off as friends but eventually develop feelings for each other. Through their conversations, they are able to explore their own perspectives and gain a better understanding of each other. This dialogue serves as a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship.

 

In conclusion, it is important to be mindful of the power dynamics in any relationship and to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and respected. The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is an example of a progressive and open environment, where open dialogue and understanding are encouraged. The movie When Harry Met Sally serves as a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship.

 

Boundaries are important for relationships.

Boundaries are important for relationships. In a healthy relationship, both parties should feel respected and safe. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and that their needs are being met. 

 

Boundaries are important for relationships for a variety of reasons. For example, boundaries can help protect against power dynamics in relationships. Power dynamics can be seen in relationships between people of different genders, sexual orientations, and social classes. When one person has more power than the other, it can lead to feelings of inequality and unfairness. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved in a relationship is respected and that their needs are considered.

 

Boundaries are also crucial for relationships because they help to maintain open and honest communication. Without boundaries, it can be difficult to talk about sensitive topics and feelings. Boundaries provide a safe space to talk about these topics without fear of judgment or criticism. 

 

The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary is a great example of a progressive and open environment that encourages open dialogue and understanding. At the seminary, students are encouraged to talk openly about gender, sexuality, and other sensitive topics. In one class, a student conducted an exercise in which everyone wrote down their gender identity and what gender they would be interested in dating or having intimacy with. This exercise showed the students that sexuality is on a spectrum and that people can have an attraction to different genders. 

 

The movie When Harry Met Sally is another example of an open and affirming relationship. In the movie, Harry and Sally are able to maintain a platonic relationship while still being honest and open with each other. This is a reminder that even though there can be power dynamics in relationships, it is possible to maintain an open and affirming relationship. 

 

Overall, boundaries are important for relationships. Boundaries help to ensure that everyone involved in a relationship is respected and that their needs are considered. The Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and the movie When Harry Met Sally are two examples of how boundaries can help create open and affirming relationships.

 

Teach kids about consent.

When it comes to teaching kids about consent, it is important to start early. Kids need to understand that their bodies and their feelings are their own and that they have the right to say “no” to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. Teaching kids about consent goes beyond just saying “no means no.” It is important to talk to kids about what consent is and why it is important.

 

When talking to kids about consent, it is important to emphasize that consent is not just about physical contact. It is also about verbal and emotional boundaries. Kids need to understand that they have the right to set boundaries and that it is okay to say “no” even if someone is pressuring them to do something they don’t want to do. It is also important to talk to kids about how they can tell if someone is not respecting their boundaries.

 

It is also important to talk to kids about respecting the boundaries of others. Kids need to understand that just because someone says “yes” to something, it does not mean that they are obligated to do it. They need to understand that if someone says “no” then it is important to respect that decision.

 

It is also important to talk to kids about the concept of “alpha culture.” Alpha culture is a term used to describe a certain type of masculinity that is often associated with aggressive behavior and an attitude of entitlement. It is important to talk to kids about how this type of culture is damaging and how it can lead to unhealthy relationships.

 

Teaching kids about consent is an important part of raising healthy and respectful children. By talking to kids about boundaries, respect, and consent, we can help them to create relationships that are open, affirming, and respectful.

 

Explore different perspectives.

As parents, it is important to explore different perspectives when it comes to talking to kids about sex and consent. It is important to understand the different ways that people may view sex, consent, and relationships. Different cultures, religious backgrounds, and personal experiences can all shape our perspectives on these topics.

    

It is important to create an open dialogue with kids when it comes to talking about sex and consent. This can be done by using language that is respectful and non-judgmental. Asking questions and listening to the answers can help to create a safe and trusting environment. It is also important to use language that is age appropriate and that is not too complicated for young children.

    

It is also important to create an environment in which kids feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their feelings. This can be done by using positive affirmations and by avoiding shaming language. It is also important to recognize that kids may have different views and opinions on these topics and to allow them to express those views without judgment.

 

Exploring different perspectives can also help to create an environment in which kids feel empowered to make their own decisions. By giving kids the tools to make informed decisions, they can learn to respect themselves and others. Exploring different perspectives can also help to create a more inclusive and understanding environment.

 

In conclusion, exploring different perspectives when it comes to talking to kids about sex and consent is essential in raising healthy and respectful children. By creating an open dialogue and using positive affirmations, we can help kids to make informed decisions and to create relationships that are open, affirming, and respectful.

 

To listen to the Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) Podcast, CLICK HERE!

the one, finding, soulmate

Finding the One

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In episode 9 of the SOS podcast, hosts Megan and Rob start off by discussing the excitement of their podcast’s voiceover, and joke about how they’re learning as they go and making things up as they proceed. Megan then shares the news that she and her husband celebrated their 18th wedding anniversary by attending a Pearl Jam concert, which was a bucket list item for her. They then move on to discussing the benefits of gratitude and how it can help in shaping one’s life and daily routine. Throughout the episode, Megan and Rob offer tips and tricks for practicing gratitude and discuss the importance of staying present in the moment.

 

Don’t settle for less.

We all have dreams and aspirations for our lives, whether it is in our relationships, our careers, or our hobbies. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to settle for less than we deserve in life. We can get caught up in the moment and forget to think about what we truly want and need.

 

When it comes to relationships, settling can be particularly dangerous. We can end up in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling or healthy, simply because we don’t want to be alone. We can become comfortable in a relationship that doesn’t meet our needs, and it can be hard to break out of it.

 

The lesson here is clear: don’t settle for less than you deserve. Whether it is in your relationships, career, or hobbies, take the time to consider what you truly want and need. Don’t let yourself be swayed by the moment or by fear of being alone. Take the time to think about what you want and don’t settle for anything less.

 

Explore before committing.

When it comes to relationships, it is especially important to explore before committing. We often think that the first person we meet is the one for us, but that is not always the case. It is important to get to know someone before making a commitment to them. Don’t let yourself be swayed by the idea of a perfect wedding or a big day with family and friends. Take the time to get to know the person and make sure that you are compatible.

 

The Netflix show “Love is Blind” is a prime example of why it is important to explore before committing. The show follows couples who get engaged after only a couple of weeks of talking behind a wall. Without being able to see each other, they are forced to rely on their conversations to decide if they are compatible. Although it is an interesting experiment, it is not a good example of a healthy relationship.

 

It is important to remember that relationships take work and effort. They require intentionality and dedication. Even if you think you have found the one, don’t rush into marriage. Take the time to get to know the person and make sure that you are compatible. Don’t let yourself be swayed by the idea of a perfect wedding or a big day with family and friends. Take the time to explore and make sure that you are making the right decision.

 

Give yourself permission to have fun.

At the same time, it is also important to give yourself permission to have fun. You don’t have to be serious all the time, even if you are in a committed relationship. I learned this lesson when I was 21 and dating someone. Even though we were serious, I still allowed myself to have fun and enjoy the relationship. I think that this gave me the freedom to explore, to take risks and to really get to know the person I was with. 

 

When the relationship ended, I was able to reflect on what I wanted in a partner. I realized that I wanted someone who was mature and had similar interests to me. I also wanted someone taller than me, but I had to ask myself if that was the most important thing. I decided that it wasn’t worth it and kept looking. 

 

Then I met my now husband Ben. I was amazed at how many similarities he had to my previous boyfriend. They both spoke multiple languages, played soccer, traveled the world, and had the same major in college. Even their dad’s name was the same! 

 

I am so glad that I gave myself permission to have fun in my previous relationship. It allowed me to explore and get to know myself better. It gave me the confidence to look for something better and to know what I wanted in a partner. I am also glad that I did not rush into marriage. Taking the time to get to know Ben was the best decision I ever made. 

 

In conclusion, it is important to give yourself permission to have fun. You don’t have to be serious all the time and it is okay to explore and take risks. Take the time to get to know the person you are with and make sure that you are compatible. Don’t rush into marriage and take the time to find the right partner for you.

 

Timing is everything. 

Timing and intentionality matters when it comes to relationships. We can’t always control when and where we meet someone, but we can be intentional about how we approach and develop the relationship. By taking the time to get to know someone and understanding their needs, we can create a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

 

For example, my friends were able to develop a strong relationship because they took the time to get to know each other and understand each other’s needs. They waited until the timing was right before taking the next step in their relationship. They also had a clear vision of what they wanted in a partner and were intentional in their search.

 

In addition, couples can benefit from intentional and ongoing communication. My friends have been married for 18 years and have been in couples counseling multiple times. They understand the importance of communicating their needs and expectations to each other, and they have been able to use this to their advantage. 

 

It is also important to create a relationship that is based on mutual respect and understanding. This means that both partners should be willing to compromise and be open to each other’s ideas and opinions. This creates a strong bond that can withstand any challenge.

 

Lastly, it is important to be mindful of your relationship. This means taking the time to appreciate each other and to recognize the little things that make your relationship special. It is also important to be intentional in your actions and to be mindful of how you are treating your partner.

 

Overall, timing and intentionality are important factors when it comes to relationships. By taking the time to get to know someone and being intentional in our actions, we can create strong and lasting relationships.

 

Shift and change with time.

As we journey through life, our relationships must shift and change with time. This is especially true when it comes to marriage. A couple who has been married for 60 years, as mentioned in the podcast, has likely gone through several “marriages” within that span of time. This means that their relationship has likely changed multiple times. 

 

At the beginning of a relationship, when two people are dating, the relationship will likely be different than when they are engaged, newly married, or even after they have been married for several years. Life events such as having children, retiring, or the children leaving the house can also have a big impact on the relationship. It is important to be flexible and open to change in order to maintain a healthy marriage. 

 

It is also important to be aware of the fact that the person we marry at a certain time may not be the best person for us as we continue to grow. This does not mean that anything went wrong, it is simply part of the progression of relationships. Ideally, we want to be like two cars on a highway, going in the same direction and at the same speed. However, life events can cause one partner to speed up or slow down, leading to a disconnection and feeling of being lost. 

 

It is important to remember that it is not always necessary to talk about everything in order to improve a marriage. Sometimes it is helpful to check in with yourself and be mindful of how you are showing up in the relationship. Are you being the most helpful version of yourself? 

 

In conclusion, it is important to take the time to get to know someone and be intentional in our actions in order to create strong and lasting relationships. As we journey through life, our relationships must shift and change with time. It is important to be flexible and open to change in order to maintain a healthy marriage. It is also important to be mindful of how we are showing up in the relationship and be the most helpful version of ourselves.

 

Shift your perspective.

One way to shift our perspective is to focus on the positive aspects of our relationships. Instead of focusing on the things we don’t like or the faults of our partner, we can focus on the things we can be grateful for and the wonderful aspects of our partner. This can be a powerful tool in improving our relationships. It is also important to be mindful of our emotions and how they may be influencing our behavior. Emotions can be helpful in understanding our needs, but they can also be detrimental if they are used to create resentment or criticism. 

 

It is also important to take a step back and look at our relationships from a different perspective. This can help us to gain insight into our relationships and the dynamics between us and our partners. Taking the time to zoom out and look at the bigger picture can help us to gain clarity on the situation and shift our perspective. 

 

Finally, it is important to be aware of our own thoughts and how they can influence our relationships. We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of our relationships, or we can focus on the negative aspects. It is important to be mindful of our thoughts and to focus on the positive aspects of our relationships in order to create a healthy and loving environment. 

 

Shifting our perspective can have a powerful effect on our relationships. It can help us to gain clarity and insight into our relationships and the dynamics between us and our partners. It can also help us to focus on the positive aspects of our relationships and create a more loving and supportive environment. Taking the time to shift our perspective can be a powerful tool in improving our relationships and creating strong and lasting connections.

 

Make deposits in relationships.

One of the most important things we can do for our relationships is to make deposits. Making deposits in relationships means investing in the relationship by doing things that make both people feel valued and appreciated. This could include spending quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations, expressing gratitude and appreciation, and finding ways to make the other person feel special. Making deposits in relationships can also include physical affection, like hugs, holding hands, and other gestures of love and affection. 

 

Making deposits in relationships is essential for creating a strong and lasting bond. It helps to build trust, understanding, and mutual respect. It also helps to create a sense of safety and security, which can be especially important in marriages and long-term relationships. Making deposits in relationships can also help to reduce stress and create a more positive atmosphere. 

 

Making deposits in relationships doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It can be as simple as taking the time to really listen to your partner, expressing your love and appreciation, or doing something special for them. Taking the time to invest in your relationship can make a world of difference and will help to create a strong and lasting bond. 

 

Making deposits in relationships is an important part of creating a strong and healthy relationship. It helps to build trust, understanding, and mutual respect. It also helps to create a sense of safety and security. Taking the time to invest in your relationship can make a world of difference and will help to create a strong and lasting bond.

 

Set relationship goals annually.

One way to invest in your relationship is to set relationship goals annually. This is something that my husband and I have done since high school and have continued to do since we got married. Setting goals helps to create a roadmap for the upcoming year and gives us a sense of direction and purpose. We set goals for ourselves, each other, and as a family. This helps us to stay on the same page and ensures that we are all working towards the same goals. 

 

Setting goals is not just about achieving them, it is also about creating a sense of connection and purpose. When we set goals together, it helps us to stay connected and to focus on the same things. It also helps us to stay focused on our relationship and to remember why we are together. It is important to remember that setting relationship goals is not just about the end result, but about the journey. 

 

Another way to invest in your relationship is to use money for experiences instead of lavish gifts. Taking the time to do something together that you both enjoy is a great way to show your love and appreciation for each other. My husband recently bought me a word search book from Kroger, which is something I love to do. It was a great way for him to show me that he sees me and knows what I like. 

 

Making deposits in relationships is an important part of creating a strong and healthy relationship. Setting relationship goals annually and using money for experiences are two great ways to invest in your relationship. Doing these things helps to create a sense of connection, understanding, and purpose. It also helps to create a strong and lasting bond.

 

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

Bite-Sized, Affordable Online Courses for Self-Care

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Self-Care for ALL!!

Whether you have never been to therapy before or you have graduated from therapy, these courses are wonderful ways to learn and remind yourself how to best take care of yourself! These on-demand, self-study videos are offered in bite-sized nuggets, they also cost less than ONE therapy session! And they NEVER expire so you can watch them year after year to remind yourself of what you learned. How awesome is that?

Current Course Offerings

The Art of Saying “No”

Reclaim your time and energy by learning how to think about boundaries in new ways. None of us need MORE to do, but what if we could THINK about things in new ways and have AHA moments?! CLICK HERE to find out more!

Dealing with Difficult People

We all have that person. You know who I’m talking about! That one person that is uber difficult to be around or talk with and sucks the life out of you.  This short and affordable course gives you new insight and methods in dealing with that person so you don’t feel so overpowered by that person and you can gain your energy back! CLICK HERE to find out more!

Let That S#!t Go!

This one-hour deeply relaxing mindfulness meditation helps you let go of the mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns you have been stuck in. Oftentimes we need to release these patterns so we can move forward into new patterns that work better for us. CLICK HERE to find out more!

Time Efficient & Affordable!

Courses range from a total of 75 minutes to less than 2 hours and are segmented into 12-minute (or less) videos. The one exception is with Let That S#!t Go!, which is one continuous hour for maximum relaxation and integration.
Prices currently range between $18.88 and $74 depending on the course, length of time, and amount of information given.

FREE Course Giveaway Opportunity!

On the last Friday of every month, we pick a winner for a free book or free course giveaway through the initial pop-up form on our website. If you’d like to enter to win, please do so below!
boundaries

Boundaries, Self-Care & Difficult People: Part 1

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On Episode 23, Part One of SOS, Rob and Megan discuss difficult people and the challenge of setting boundaries and practicing self-care with individuals who demand attention or participation. They explore different types of difficult people and the reasons why it can be hard to say no, particularly for people with high empathy. The episode highlights the importance of taking care of oneself and recognizing when it’s necessary to say no.

Set healthy boundaries.

Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of life. Whether it be in relationships with family, friends, or co-workers, learning how to set boundaries can help us take better care of ourselves and protect our emotional and physical health.

One of the most common issues people face when it comes to setting boundaries is dealing with difficult people. Difficult people can come in many forms, such as a boss, spouse, neighbor, or even one of your own children. In these cases, it is important to remember that it is not your responsibility to take care of someone else, but rather to take care of yourself. This can be especially challenging for those who are highly sensitive or empaths, as they often feel a strong sense of responsibility to help others.

When it comes to setting boundaries, it is important to remember that saying “no” is an acceptable response. It is not necessary to feel guilty for saying no, as it is perfectly acceptable to take care of yourself first. Additionally, it is important to remember that when it comes to setting boundaries, it is an art. It is not necessary to be harsh or abrupt, but rather to be honest and direct. 

In order to set healthy boundaries, it is important to practice self-care. This can include taking time for yourself to relax and recharge, as well as taking time to practice the art of saying no. It is important to remember that it is okay to take care of yourself in order to protect your own emotional and physical health. 

Overall, setting healthy boundaries is an important part of life. It is important to remember that it is okay to take care of yourself and to practice the art of saying no. Taking the time to practice self-care and learn how to set boundaries can help protect our emotional and physical health.

Pressure versus Choice.

When it comes to taking care of ourselves, it is important to be honest with ourselves and with those around us. We could be aware of our own capabilities and limitations and be honest about what we can and cannot do. This helps us to take care of ourselves and also encourages those around us to do the same. Setting boundaries can also help us to stay in control of our lives and help us to manage our stress levels.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to say no. Stress can make it harder to set boundaries and it can create a sense of urgency. This can lead to us feeling like we “should” be doing something or that we “should” have already done something. We need to be aware of this and learn to replace the word “should” with “could”. This can help us to recognize the difference between pressure and choice.

 

We could also be aware of the “shoulds” in our internal dialogue. It is easy to get caught up in “shoulding” all over ourselves and we need to be mindful of this. We can also help others to become aware of the “shoulds” by talking about them and helping them to recognize when they are saying or hearing the word “should.”

 

Setting boundaries and taking care of ourselves is important for our emotional and physical health. We need to be honest with ourselves and with those around us about our capabilities and limitations. We could also be aware of the “shoulds” in our internal dialogue and learn to replace them with “could”. With practice, we can learn to set healthy boundaries and take better care of ourselves.

Practice Self-Care.

It is natural to want to help others and contribute to the world. We have a desire to be of service and to make a difference. But it is important to remember that our own wellbeing is just as important as the wellbeing of others. We can be of service and do good in the world without sacrificing our own needs. We could be mindful of our values, and recognize when our emotions are pushing us to do something that is not in line with our values. We could also be aware of our own limitations and recognize that we cannot do everything.

 Setting boundaries is not always easy, especially when it comes to dealing with difficult people. It can be hard to stand up for ourselves and set limits with people who are used to getting their way. But it is important to remember that we have the right to do what is best for us. We could be clear and direct when communicating our boundaries and expectations, and be consistent in following through with them.

It is also important to practice self-care. We need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves and that we are getting the rest and relaxation that we need. We could also be mindful of our emotional needs and take time to nurture our relationships. Taking care of ourselves and setting healthy boundaries can help us to feel more empowered and in control of our lives.

Setting boundaries and taking care of ourselves is an important part of maintaining our emotional and physical health. We could be aware of our values and our limitations, and be mindful of the “shoulds” in our internal dialogue. We could also be clear and direct when setting boundaries and expectations, and practice self-care. With practice, we can learn to set healthy boundaries and take better care of ourselves.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

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In general, relationships are tough, even for those who’ve been married, friends, or coworkers for years.

How do we recognize when a relationship is good for us or when a relationship isn’t good for us? Often, the lines are fuzzier than we’d like, black and white don’t apply, and we live in a foggy grey, feeling stuck. Sometimes happy. Sometimes frustrated. Almost always anxious. 

So much of this is normal. The images portrayed to us in movies or books present relationships, especially romantic relationships, and decisions that look easy. “The one” is always obvious. Friends are always funny and supportive. Sex is always amazing. Conversations over tough topics are nonexistent or minimal. So, when we encounter a real relationship and it doesn’t look like that, we really aren’t sure what to make of it, or how to assess if it’s “good” or not. Whether it’s a friend, coworker, or spouse, the proverbial question becomes, “do I stay or do I go?” 

Jennifer, Komis, Mindfulness, CenterAs a therapist, I specialize in helping people flourish, whether that means leaving a toxic relationship of some sort or working to improve a relationship in their life that’s worth it. I work with individuals who aren’t sure what they want and help them determine what’s a right choice for them, not THE right choice, as right choices are almost always multiple.

So, we talk about boundaries, feeling safe, communication, fears, hopes, and how in the world we might honor all of those things in the decisions we make for ourselves. We talk about how the messages we experience growing up sometimes influence how we see people or relationships now. We discuss how to choose what to do in our relationships, as opposed to living a life on autopilot that feels consistently unfulfilling. We make all the space we need to calmly tackle the hard questions about what the next steps might look like in workplaces, marriages, and friendships.

In short, I partner with you as you build a future you can be excited about and that nourishes you, mind, body, and spirit.

If this sounds interesting to you and you’d like to explore working with me, please feel free to schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation or first appointment with me HERE. I look forward to chatting with you!

How parents can use tools like self-compassion and reframing at home to help.

Tools for Your Parenting Toolbox: SELF-COMPASSION & REFRAMING

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Welcome back to the third and final post in my series on how we can support our kids by using some simple therapeutic strategies at home. I’m Kim Hamilton and a therapist at Louisville Mindfulness Center. I specialize in working with kids, teens, and parents to create family harmony. I love to support parents by offering them tools for their parenting toolbox to handle the stress and uncertainty that comes along with parenting.

In the past weeks, I have told you about three other tools  – Attunement, Emotional Literacy, and Self-Regulation. With these skills, you are able to take notice when your child needs a deeper level of attention, help them to understand what they are feeling and why, and give them tips on how to cope in the moment. Be sure to check out the previous posts for more detail!

Today I will share with you the final two tools: self-compassion and reframing.

SELF-COMPASSION

Give yourself and your child a break! If your child is hard on themselves, don’t just tell them to calm down. Instead, talk with them about the three steps to implement self-compassion:

  1. Acknowledge that you are experiencing pain and be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself increases well-being, reduces anxiety and depression and can help fend off other health issues like substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation.
  2. Recognize that you are not alone. We are so creatures and mostly all harbor some amount of empathy for other people. If someone around you is feeling anxious, you will most likely pick up on that and feel some anxiety. This is especially true for close relationships, like parents and children. 
  3. Put your experiences in perspective to moderate your own negative reactivity. If your child is having a high-intensity moment and you are feeling yourself getting worked up, instead of exploding, implement self-compassion instead. You can do this by speaking out loud or silently to calm yourself. Your child benefits regardless.
REFRAMING

This final tool is one of my favorites! When we get annoyed, mad, or frustrated with our kids, we often begin labeling them either out loud or in our heads. Instead of automatically going to that place, try thinking about other ways you can look at the situation.

By avoiding assumptions and judgments you can see and become open to other possibilities and can envision positive paths forward. For example, if your child is upset because they are having trouble with a friend, they may immediately go to the worst possible scenario and assume things like the friend doesn’t like them anymore or maybe even that nobody likes them. You can help them feel better by reframing the situation and asking questions like, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Is it forever or just temporary? Is it everybody?”

Help them to question the assumptions they are making and to think optimistically. This way they are able to see bad things as temporary and specific. It’s easy to generalize and view bad situations as permanent when we are sad or upset. By reframing, we can see the other, more realistic, possibilities.

I hope you have enjoyed learning these five skills and are now able to implement them into practice with yourself and with your family! By learning how to be a more effective parent and really listening to our kids, we build their resilience so they can be happy, motivated, and empowered.

If you have experimented with these tools with your children, I’d love to know how it went! Feel free to email me and let me know: [email protected].

If you liked what you read and feel I could be of assistance to you and your family, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

Kim Hamilton, MAMFT specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents to bring emotional regulation and harmony to families and households. She works from a non-judgmental, solution-focused, non-pathologizing perspective that creates win-win scenarios within relationships. Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Kim to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for your family.

Find out more on Kim’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

 

 

*This blog was inspired by the Washington Post article: “Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope”

speaking your truth

Tools for Your Parenting Toolbox: EMOTIONAL LITERACY & SELF-REGULATION

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Welcome back to my series on how we can support our kids by using some simple therapeutic
strategies at home. My name is Kim Hamilton and I’m a therapist at Louisville Mindfulness Center. I
specialize in working with kids, teens, and parents to create family harmony. I love to support
parents by offering them tools for their parenting toolbox to handle the stress and uncertainty
that comes along with parenting.

Last time I talked about Attunement and discussed three ways of noticing when they need a
deeper level of attention, therefore strengthening our relationships with them and helping
them to better understand themselves and their feelings. We can do this by 1) paying attention,
2) reflecting, and 3) validating. If you missed it or want a refresher, you can check it out here.

Today I’ll share two more tools: emotional literacy and self-regulation.

EMOTIONAL LITERACY

Let’s start with Emotional Literacy. We can help our kids by helping them to understand their own feelings and how their body physically responds to those emotions. We’ve all experienced “butterflies” in our stomachs when we get nervous, but what about that stomach ache or headache; or that pressure in our chest or inability to catch a breath? What do they mean? When they can learn to tune in to their emotions, to become aware of them, and notice them, they will not only get better at managing their emotions but also at being able to predict them.

SELF-REGULATION

But what do we do when it is already happening?

When we are in the moment of strong emotion, it is difficult to regulate that feeling. Think about when your child is having a tantrum or has asked you 20 times for the same thing. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with emotions, which often lead to behaviors we may regret later. The same is true for kids when they are fighting with a friend or anxious about a big test.

By learning to self-regulate in those moments, we can be in control of how we react. Pausing and breathing intentionally is key to this.

One breathing technique I like is box breathing – breath in for four second, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and then hold for four seconds again.

You can also use grounding techniques like 5-4-3-2-1. Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. You can also go for a
walk, jump up and down, listen to music, or do anything else that helps.

Model this self-regulation to your kids and explain to them what you are doing. This will show them how they can also cope in the midst of difficult feelings.

I invite you to experiment with emotional literacy and self-regulation and see how it goes! Feel free to email me and let me know: [email protected].

If you liked what you read and feel I could be of assistance to you and your family, feel free to schedule a free 10-minute consult with me at your convenience online HERE!

 Kim Hamilton, MAMFT specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents to bring emotional regulation and harmony to families and households. She works from a non-judgemental, solution-focused, non-pathologizing perspective that creates win-win scenarios within relationships. Megan Bayles Bartley is excited for Kim to join the team and knows she will be a wonderful resource for your family.

Find out more on Kim’s bio page on the Louisville Mindfulness Center website!

 

 

*This blog was inspired by the Washington Post article: “Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope”

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