The Gifts of Depression

01 January 2025/in Alcohol, Blog, Books, Boundaries, Chronic Illness, Holidays, Meditation, Online Courses, Parenting, Podcast, Strengthening Your Relationship, Stress, Trauma/by Megan Bartley

by Ashley Vaden, LMFT

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.” These words, attributed to Henri-Frederic Amiel, hold a quiet truth that many of us resist. Depression, in all its weight and misery, feels like the enemy—something to escape, numb, or conquer. But what if depression were not an adversary, but a guide? An indicator or your next rite of passage?

Carl Jung reminds us that depression is not necessarily pathological. Often, it signals the need for profound change, a harbinger of transformation. Depression, when viewed through this lens, becomes less a punishment and more a messenger, carrying within it the potential for psychological renewal and creativity.

To “depress” means to “press down,” to force us into the depths of our own psyche. And though this descent is painful, is it purposeful. Depression pulls our energy and focus inward, away from the external world and distractions that we so often fixate upon. It demands that we stop looking outward for meaning and instead confront what lies within—the forgotten, the suppressed, the unconscious treasure of our own being.

James Hollis writes “It takes great courage to value depression, to respect it, not to try and medicate it away or distract ourselves from its misery. Down there is potential meaning split off from consciousness, but alive, dynamic.” Beneath the heaviness, beneath the despair, depression points us to what is hidden: our instincts, passions, creative drives, and the fragments of our true selves. Depression serves as an opportunity to sift through our value system and determine what matters most. What we often experience as unbearable heaviness is, paradoxically, the weight of something alive struggling to emerge.

This descent into the depths is not a journey to be resisted. What we resist, after all, persists. The greatest treasures lie at the deepest places. Depression teaches us to dig, sift, and to descent without resistance, and unearth the psychological gold buried beneath. Yet, this does not mean identifying with depression or becoming lost within it. There is power in maintaining objectivity—in stepping back and observing it, not as something we are but as a part of us with something to teach.

In modern society, depression is heavily stigmatized, often seen as a personal failing or a condition to be cured quickly and quietly. We have little tolerance for its presence and even less space for expression. Thomas Moore in Care of the Soul challenges this perspective by suggesting that we reframe our relationship with depression entirely. Rather than pushing it to the margins of our lives, Moore argues that we create intentional spaces for depression—quiet, solitary sanctuaries within our communities. Imagine office buildings with dedicated rooms for solitude, , where people can retreat to sit with their feelings without shame or interruption. By making room for depression, not as an inconvenience but as a natural and meaningful part of life, we begin to strip away the stigma and embrace its potential to transform and renew us.

When we allow ourselves to sit with depression, to listen without judgement, it reveals its purpose: to elicit dynamic change, to force a reorientation of the soul. It reminds us of what we have neglected within ourselves. Depression is not the end; it is the beginning of a renewal, a signpost pointing toward transformation and meaning.

So, when depression visits, as unwelcome as it may feel, consider this: what lies beneath its weight? What treasure is hidden in the depth of it urges you to explore? It is in the descent, in the courage to feel and observe, that we begin to rise.

After acquiring my Master’s Degree at the University of Rochester, I returned to my home state of Kentucky. For the past 5 years, I have been serving adults, teens, and couples at The Mindfulness Center. I help clients heal and grow through means of self compassion and self-derived skills. I have felt especially drawn to attachment theory and Internal Family Systems, as I have found them to be the most empowering and effective modalities for complex trauma and relational distress. I hope to help people make use of their suffering and find purpose and meaning through life’s struggles.

To schedule an appointment with me click here.

RESET: Letting Go of What No Longer Works

03 March 2024/in Books, Mindfulness, Podcast, Self Love/by Megan Bartley

Stay curious and keep learning

“Stay curious and keep learning.” These simple yet powerful words serve as a reminder of the importance of lifelong learning and curiosity in our personal and professional lives. In a world that is constantly evolving and changing, it is essential to embrace a mindset of curiosity and a commitment to continuous learning in order to stay relevant and adapt to new challenges.

Megan emphasizes the idea that curiosity is the key to unlocking new opportunities and expanding our knowledge and understanding of the world around us. By staying curious, we are able to ask questions, seek out new information, and explore different perspectives, which can lead to personal growth and development. Curiosity is what drives innovation and creativity, as it inspires us to think outside the box and challenge the status quo.

She also highlights the importance of keeping an open mind and being willing to learn from others. No one person has all the answers, and by engaging with diverse perspectives and experiences, we can broaden our own understanding and gain new insights. Learning from others allows us to expand our horizons, challenge our assumptions, and foster a sense of empathy and understanding towards those who may have different viewpoints.

Megan emphasizes the idea that learning is a lifelong journey that never truly ends. In a rapidly changing world, it is important to continuously update our skills and knowledge in order to stay competitive and adaptable. By investing in our own learning and development, we can position ourselves for success and growth in our personal and professional lives.

Release what no longer serves

Megan Bayles Bartley guides listeners through a powerful exercise to let go of should statements that no longer serve them. The exercise involves visualizing a shape, color, texture, temperature, and weight of the should statement, and then transforming it into a new object that better aligns with their current beliefs and values.

The concept of releasing what no longer serves is a key aspect of personal growth and self-improvement. It involves letting go of limiting beliefs, negative thought patterns, and behaviors that hold us back from reaching our full potential. By releasing these obstacles, we create space for new opportunities, growth, and positive change in our lives.

The guided visualization exercise offered in the podcast episode is a powerful tool for releasing what no longer serves. By visualizing the should statement as a tangible object and then transforming it into something new, listeners can shift their mindset and let go of outdated beliefs and expectations.

Ultimately, the message of the podcast episode is one of empowerment and liberation. By releasing what no longer serves us, we can create space for growth, transformation, and fulfillment in our lives. It is a reminder that we have the power to choose our beliefs, thoughts, and actions, and to let go of anything that no longer aligns with our true selves.

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T (SOS) PODCAST HERE!

Don’t Sleep On This

05 May 2023/in Blog, Books, Podcast, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

In episode 11 of the SOS podcast, Megan Bartley and Rob Giltner discuss the importance of rest and sleep for our overall health. They start by sharing their own experiences with Monday anxiety and how the podcast recording sets a nice pace for the week. They then dive into the science of sleep, including the different stages of sleep and the impact of sleep deprivation on our physical and mental health. Megan and Rob also offer practical tips for improving the quality and quantity of our sleep, such as setting a consistent sleep schedule and limiting screen time before bed. Overall, the episode emphasizes the importance of prioritizing rest as a key component of our overall well-being.

Get a good quality sleep.

Getting enough quality sleep is essential for our physical and mental health, yet it is often overlooked or taken for granted. According to the Today Show and CBS Mornings, sleep is trending and people are becoming more aware of its importance. This is likely due to the pandemic and the need to focus on what truly matters.

When we don’t get enough quality sleep, it can have a negative effect on our physical and mental health. Lack of sleep can lead to fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and an overall decrease in productivity. It can also increase our risk of developing chronic health problems such as diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. Additionally, lack of sleep can lead to depression and anxiety.

Fortunately, there are several steps we can take to ensure that we get enough quality sleep. First, it is important to establish a consistent sleep schedule and stick to it. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps to regulate our body’s internal clock and can make it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. It is also important to avoid caffeine and other stimulants late in the day and to limit our exposure to blue light from screens before bed. Additionally, creating a relaxing bedtime routine can help us to wind down and prepare for sleep.

Finally, it is important to be mindful of our sleep environment. Our bedroom should be dark, cool, and quiet, and it should be free from distractions such as TVs, phones, and computers. Investing in comfortable bedding and a supportive mattress can also help us to get a better night’s sleep.

Getting enough quality sleep is essential for our physical and mental health. By following these simple steps, we can ensure that we get the rest we need and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.

Rest your mind to be productive.

Resting your mind is just as important as getting enough sleep. Resting your mind allows you to be more productive and creative. When we are constantly multitasking and our minds are going a mile a minute, it can be difficult to focus and be productive. Taking the time to rest your mind can help to clear your thoughts and allow you to focus on the task at hand.

One way to rest your mind is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings. This can be done through meditation, deep breathing, or simply taking a few moments to pause and observe your thoughts. By taking a few moments to focus on your breath and bring your awareness to the present moment, you can let go of the worries and stress that can often prevent us from being productive.

Another way to rest your mind is to take a break from technology. Technology can be a great tool for getting things done, but it can also be a distraction. Taking a break from technology can help to clear your mind and allow you to focus on the task at hand. Taking a walk, reading a book, or even just sitting in silence can help to reset your mind and allow you to be more productive.

Lastly, getting enough sleep is essential for resting your mind. Getting enough sleep helps to restore your body and mind, allowing you to be more productive and creative during the day. Make sure to get enough sleep every night, and if you are having trouble sleeping, try some relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or even just listening to calming music.

Resting your mind is essential for being productive and creative. By taking the time to practice mindfulness, take a break from technology, and get enough sleep, you can ensure that your mind is rested and ready to take on the day.

Slow down to go faster.

When multitasking, it is important to pay attention to the speed of your thoughts. If you find that your thoughts are racing at 300 miles an hour, it’s time to slow down. By taking the time to slow down and process your thoughts, you can make sure that you are not experiencing burnout.

When it comes to multitasking, it is important to find the right balance. If you find yourself in a stressful situation, it’s okay to speed up your multitasking. However, it’s important to recognize when you need to slow down and take a break. Taking a break can help you to clear your mind and refocus.

Mindfulness is a great way to slow down and focus on the present moment. By taking the time to practice mindfulness, you can become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This can help you to be more mindful of the tasks you have to do and can help you to be more productive.

It is also important to take a break from technology. Technology can be a great tool for productivity, but it can also be a distraction. Taking a break from technology can help you to clear your mind and focus on the task at hand.

Finally, it is important to get enough sleep. Sleep is essential for your physical and mental health. When you get enough sleep, you can ensure that your mind is rested and ready to take on the day.

Slowing down to go faster is an essential part of multitasking. By taking the time to practice mindfulness, take a break from technology, and get enough sleep, you can ensure that your mind is rested and ready to take on the day. By slowing down and being mindful of your thoughts and feelings, you can make sure that you are not experiencing burnout and are able to be productive and creative.

Believe in what works for you.

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to rest and relaxation is to believe in what works for you. Everyone needs different things in order to relax and rest, and it is important to find what works for you and to stick with it. For some, it may be reading a book or listening to music, while for others it may be taking a hot bath or going for a walk. Whatever it is, it is important to believe that it will work for you and to trust that it will help you to relax and rest.

Another important aspect of rest and relaxation is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety, as well as to create a sense of calm and peace. It can also help you to be more aware of your body and to recognize when you need to take a break or to slow down.

Finally, it is important to get enough sleep. Sleep is essential for our physical and mental health, and it is important to make sure that you are getting enough restful sleep. This can include setting a regular bedtime and sticking to it, avoiding screens before bed, and avoiding caffeine and alcohol in the evenings.

Believing in what works for you and taking the time to practice mindfulness and get enough sleep can help you to stay rested and productive. Taking the time to rest and relax can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and can help you to be more productive and creative. By taking the time to believe in what works for you and to practice mindfulness, you can ensure that you are getting the rest and relaxation that you need.

Focus on rest, not sleep.

In today’s society, it is easy to believe that we need something outside of ourselves to help us get the rest and relaxation that we need. We often think that we need to take something to help us sleep, such as herbal remedies or homeopathic remedies, and even CBD. However, it is important to remember that everybody’s bodies are different, and that what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to talk to your doctor about any remedies you are considering, as there could be other things going on than just not being able to sleep.

It is also important to remember that rest is just as important as sleep. Taking the time to rest can help to increase your recovery level and can help you to perform better. Professional and amateur athletes are now being given tracking devices to gauge their sleep and recovery, as science is showing the connection between rest and peak performance. It is important to take the time to rest and relax, and to give your mind a break.

Finally, it is important to be intentional about the words you use when you are getting ready for bed. Instead of thinking “I’m going to have a crappy night’s sleep,” it is important to remind yourself that your only responsibility is to get a good night’s rest. This can help to reduce anxiety and can help you to get the rest and relaxation that you need.

Taking the time to focus on rest, rather than sleep, can help you to stay rested and productive. By taking the time to believe in what works for you and to practice mindfulness, you can ensure that you are getting the rest and relaxation that you need. Taking the time to rest and relax can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and can help you to be more productive and creative.

Dreams are important and valid.

Dreams are important and valid. They can be a way to process and make sense of the world, and can be used to gain insight into our thoughts and feelings. Dreams can be a way to explore our subconscious and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of ourselves and our lives.

Dreams can be used to:

process our emotions and experiences, and can provide us with a deeper understanding of our lives and the world around us.
gain insight into our lives and our relationships. Dreams can provide us with a way to explore our relationships, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of how we interact with others. Dreams can also be a way to explore our own emotions, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our own feelings and thoughts.
explore our creativity and ideas. Dreams can provide us with a way to explore our creative ideas, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our potential and capabilities. Dreams can also be used as a way to gain insight into our own potential, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our own capabilities and potential.
explore our spiritual and religious beliefs. Dreams can provide us with a way to explore our spiritual and religious beliefs, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our beliefs and our connection to the divine.
explore our fears and anxieties. Dreams can provide us with a way to explore our fears and anxieties, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our fears and anxieties.

Dreams are important and valid. They can provide us with a way to explore our thoughts, feelings, relationships, creativity, spiritual and religious beliefs, and fears and anxieties. Taking the time to explore our dreams can help us to gain insight into our lives and our relationships, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our lives and the world around us.

Listen to your subconscious.

Dreams can be interpreted in a variety of ways. Some people believe that dreams are a way for our subconscious to communicate with us, while others believe that they are simply manifestations of our thoughts and feelings. Regardless of the interpretation, it is important to pay attention to the messages our dreams are sending us.

One way to interpret dreams is to look for symbols. Symbols can represent different aspects of our lives, such as our relationships, our feelings, or our goals. For example, if you dream of a deer, it could represent your feelings of being skittish or cautious. Or it could mean something else entirely, depending on your own personal interpretation.

Another way to interpret dreams is to look at the people and objects in them. Dreams can be a way for our subconscious to communicate with us, and the people and objects in our dreams can represent different aspects of our lives. For example, if you dream of a house, it could represent yourself, and the people and objects in it could represent different parts of yourself.

Finally, it is important to listen to our own interpretations of our dreams. It is easy to find dream interpretations online, but it is important to remember that the meaning of a dream is personal to us. We all have our own unique experiences and beliefs, and these will shape the way we interpret our dreams.

Dreams can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and understanding. By taking the time to explore our dreams, we can gain insight into our lives and our relationships, and can help to provide us with a deeper understanding of our lives and the world around us. Listening to our subconscious and interpreting our dreams can be a great way to gain insight into our lives and our true selves.

Trust yourself and rest.

However, it’s also important to remember that we can only truly trust ourselves. We can’t rely on outside sources to provide us with the answers we need. We must take the time to listen to our inner voice and trust our instincts. This is especially true when it comes to rest.

We often put so much pressure on ourselves to get enough sleep, but this can be counterproductive. Instead of trying to force ourselves to sleep, we should focus on finding what’s restful to us. This could include taking breaks throughout the day, or even just focusing on our breathing for 30 seconds when we’re at a stoplight. We should also be curious about how we can allow our minds to rest throughout the day.

It’s important to remember that we are the experts on ourselves. We should be curious and ask ourselves what we need in order to rest. This could be different for everyone, and could include things like a dark room, earplugs, and a warm blanket. We should also take inventory of when we need rest and what has worked and hasn’t in the past.

By trusting ourselves and taking the time to rest, we can gain greater insight into our lives and our true selves. It’s important to remember that we are the experts on ourselves and that we should take the time to listen to our inner voice and trust our instincts.

Get adequate sleep.

Getting adequate sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. Sleep deprivation can lead to a variety of health concerns, including an increased risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. It can also lead to cognitive impairment, depression, and anxiety. Lack of sleep can also impair your ability to concentrate and make decisions, leading to poor performance at work or school.

In today’s world, it can be difficult to find the time to get enough rest. Our lives are busy and it can be hard to prioritize sleep. However, it is important to make it a priority. It is important to create a healthy sleep routine and stick to it. Make sure to get an adequate amount of sleep each night, which is typically between 7-9 hours. It is also important to create a comfortable sleep environment. Make sure your room is dark, quiet, and cool. Avoid screens an hour before bed and try to limit caffeine and alcohol consumption.

In addition to getting enough sleep, it is also important to practice good sleep hygiene. This includes avoiding napping during the day, avoiding caffeine late in the day, and avoiding stimulants such as television, computers, and phones before bed. It is also important to practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, and meditation.

Getting adequate sleep is essential for our physical and mental health. Doing so can help reduce stress, improve concentration, and boost our overall wellbeing. It is important to prioritize sleep and create a healthy sleep routine. By doing so, we can ensure that we are getting the rest we need to be our best selves.

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

Making Friends With Money

03 March 2023/in Blog, Books, Podcast, Self Love, Stress/by Megan Bartley

Shifting Our Sh!t Podcast Episode #20: Megan Bayles Bartley tells co-host Rob Giltner all about her annual January retreat in Napa Valley. The weather in the area was unpredictable, with pouring rain and occasional sunshine. Megan discussed a new book she has written which contains exercises to help reset and reframe. She also discussed her new theme for the year, which she had come up with even before the retreat.

Here are some takeaways from Episode #20:

Set goals and achieve them.

Setting goals and achieving them is an important part of life and can help us to reach our fullest potential. Having clear objectives and working towards them can provide us with a sense of accomplishment and purpose. On the SOS podcast, we will explore the importance of setting goals and how to go about achieving them.

Setting goals can help to provide us with focus and direction. It can help us to break down our long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. We can also set short-term goals to help us stay motivated and on track. It is important to remember that goals should be realistic, measurable, and achievable.

Once we have set our objectives, we can create a plan of action. This plan should include a timeline for completing each goal, as well as a list of resources and support that we may need to achieve them. It is also important to set checkpoints along the way to help us measure our progress.

In addition to setting goals, it is important to stay motivated and focused. It can be easy to get distracted or discouraged, but it is important to remember why we set the goals in the first place and to stay focused on our end goal. We can also use positive affirmations and self-talk to help us stay motivated.

Megan recently returned from a retreat that she attended to help her set goals and achieve them. She and her fellow participants developed a theme for the year based on what they visualized for themselves at the end of the year. They also made bracelets with their theme word to remind them of their goals.

Setting goals and achieving them can help us to reach our fullest potential. It is important to set realistic, measurable, and achievable goals and to create a plan of action with a timeline for completing each goal. We should also stay motivated and focused on our end goal and use positive affirmations and self-talk to help us stay on track. By following these steps, we can set goals and achieve them.

Greed makes me uncomfortable.

However, when it comes to money and greed, I find it difficult to stay motivated and focused. Greed makes me uncomfortable and I feel like it is a distraction from my real goals. Greed can lead to an unhealthy obsession with money and material possessions. It can also lead to a feeling of entitlement, which can be damaging to our relationships and our overall well-being.

When I think of the amount of money that some of the wealthiest people in the world have, I think of all the good I could do with that money. I think of how I could help those in need and improve the lives of so many people. It’s not that I want to be greedy, but I do want to use my resources to make the world a better place.

I have come to realize that money can be a powerful tool for good. It can be used to fund research, support education, and provide access to basic necessities for those in need. Money can also be used to provide resources for people to pursue their dreams and create a better life for themselves.

In order to use money for good, I have to change my mindset and focus on the positive impact that money can have. I need to be mindful of my spending and focus on investing in what will bring me the most joy and fulfillment. I need to be aware of my own entitlement and recognize that money can be a powerful tool for good.

Greed can make us feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We can use money to create positive change in the world. We just need to change our mindset and focus on the positive impact that money can have. With the right mindset, we can use money for good and create a better world for everyone.

Make money without guilt.

Money can be a powerful tool for making positive changes in the world. We can use it to fund projects for the benefit of others, to start businesses that create jobs and economic opportunities, and to invest in education and healthcare. We can also use money to support charities and organizations that are doing good in the world. Money can be used to help those in need and to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

At the same time, we need to be careful not to fall into the trap of feeling guilty when we make money. Money is a tool and it can be used for good or bad, but it doesn’t have to be seen as a negative thing. We can use money to create positive change and to make a difference in the world.

It is important to remember that money is not the only way to make a difference. We can also use our time, knowledge, and skills to help others. We can volunteer our time to help those in need, or use our skills to create something that will benefit others. We can also use our knowledge to educate and empower others.

Making money without guilt is possible if we remember to focus on the positive impact that money can have. We can use money to create positive changes in the world, and we can also use our time, knowledge, and skills to make a difference. With the right mindset, we can make money without guilt and use it to make the world a better place.

Work on your fears.

Money can be a source of fear for many people. Whether it’s the fear of not having enough money, or the fear of having too much, money can be a source of anxiety. We can be afraid to talk about money, because it can be a sensitive subject. We may feel embarrassed to talk about our financial situation, or we may feel ashamed of our money habits. We may also be afraid to take risks with our money, because we don’t want to make a mistake that could cost us in the long run.

It’s important to remember that money is just a tool, and it’s up to us how we use it. We can use money to help others, to invest in our future, or to create a comfortable lifestyle for ourselves. We can also use money to work on our fears. When we work on our fears, we can become more confident with our money decisions and more comfortable with our financial situation.

Working on our fears can help us to make more informed decisions about our money. We can learn to be more mindful about our spending, and we can become more aware of our financial goals. We can also become more aware of our money habits and how they affect our financial situation. When we understand our money habits, we can make more informed decisions and take better control of our financial future.

Working on our fears can also help us to become more confident in our money decisions. We can learn to trust our intuition and be more comfortable with taking risks. We can also become more confident in making money decisions that are in our best interest. Working on our fears can help us to become more confident in our money decisions and more comfortable with our financial situation.

Working on our fears can help us to make better money decisions, become more confident with our money decisions, and become more comfortable with our financial situation. We can use money to create positive changes in the world, and we can also use our time, knowledge, and skills to make a difference. With the right mindset, we can make money without guilt and use it to make the world a better place.

Work on yourself for growth.

Working on ourselves for growth can help us to form healthier relationships and build better connections with those around us. We can learn how to communicate better, how to listen and be more understanding, and how to support each other through difficult times. By developing our interpersonal skills, we can create a more harmonious atmosphere in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

Working on ourselves can also help us to manage our anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. We can learn how to better manage our emotions and how to cope with the stresses of life. We can also learn how to better regulate our thoughts and feelings, which can help to reduce our stress levels and improve our mental health.

The concept of past lives can be an interesting one to explore. Although we may not have all the answers, there is something to be said for exploring the possibilities. We can take a class on past life exploration and learn more about the concept. We can also take the time to reflect on our own lives and the experiences that have shaped us.

The journey of self-growth is an ongoing one, and it can be a rewarding experience. We can learn how to better manage our money, relationships, and mental health. We can explore the concept of past lives and reflect on our own experiences. Taking the time to work on ourselves for growth can help us to create positive changes in our lives and in the world.

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

03 March 2021/in Books/by Megan Bartley

Yes, you heard that correct! When I (Megan) lived in Austin, TX, I had the privilege to be mentored by author and relationship expert, Dr. Patricia Love. She encouraged me to think outside-the-box when working with couples which is what helps me be one of the “Three-Best Rated Marriage Counselors in Louisville.” You CAN improve any relationship without talking about it and that’s what I teach my clients and the other therapists at Louisville Mindfulness Center every day.

How you show up with others, invites them to show up that way with you. If you are acting as your “Best Adult Self” and setting appropriate boundaries and the other person you want a good (or, even decent) relationship with can’t meet you there, that gives you more information. With that more information, you can decide if being in that relationship works for you or at the very least how much time and energy you want to give to that relationship – especially if there is not a mutual exchange of energy…i.e. you’re doing all the work.

While I couldn’t find the video of Dr. Love on the Oprah show (yep, she’s done that!), I want you to see her YouTube page so you can watch her live! And here are some other wonderful books Dr. Love has written as well…

Beyond Buzzwords: White Fragility

02 February 2021/in Books/by Megan Bartley

White Fragility is another wonderful book to read this Black History Month. The author Dr. Robin Diangelo has been teaching diversity training for 20 years. And she happens to teach at my alma mater, the University of Washington in Seattle. So cool!

Like Kendi, Diangelo speaks about her own discrimination and racism and the need for us all to consider important aspects of how we participate in racism even when our intention is to “not be racist” or even “antiracist.”

PLUS, through Metro United Way, Diangelo will be offering a “Beyond Buzzwords” event on February 23rd, 2021 from 12pm-1:15pm. Register HERE for FREE to attend!

Speaking of buzzwords, if you are noticing some phrases pop up that you aren’t familiar with, I encourage you to Google them and find out more. When we know better, we do better!

How To Be An Antiracist – February 2021 Monthly Book Giveaway

02 February 2021/in Books/by Megan Bartley

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the National Book Award–winning author of Stamped from the Beginning comes a “groundbreaking” (Time) approach to understanding and uprooting racism and inequality in our society—and in ourselves.

“The most courageous book to date on the problem of race in the Western mind.”—The New York Times

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The New York Times Book Review • Time • NPR • The Washington Post • Shelf Awareness • Library Journal • Publishers Weekly • Kirkus Reviews

I. Loved. This. Book.

And, to no surprise, I’m not the only one.

As a cis white woman (she/her/hers), I am fully aware that there is plenty I do not know about racism. And not only am I not an expert on racism, there is plenty I don’t know about sexism, agism, ablism, and other prejudices. I also recognize that I still participate in racism and other prejudices even when I believe I am consciously trying my best “Not To Be” racist or prejudice.

Author Ibrim X. Kendi brilliantly addresses the difference between “not being a racist” and being “antiracist.” He helps the reader understand that whether we like it or not, we are all participating in racism (even him!), even when we would consider ourselves “not racist.”

While this is a “how to” book, it’s also a wonderful narrative of Kendi’s life. Not only does he talk about his journey with racism and discrimination, but also with cancer. This book is a great “must read.”

2021 Book of the Month Giveaway!

12 December 2020/in Books/by Megan Bartley

Hi Friends! Megan Bartley here.

One of the fun questions that was asked during our Mindfulness Center holiday party was, “What’s your favorite holiday?!” We had many varied answers from Easter to Fourth of July to Thanksgiving to Christmas. My answer was unique. My favorite holiday is New Year’s Eve and Day.

I have always liked the idea of a fresh start, of starting anew. Of putting the past behind me and stepping into the unknown of the future. Now, with that said, I am a planner, in a big way, so I usually have many goals and intentions for the New Year. I also LOVE to challenge myself…to learn new things, read new books, try new activities, explore new places, eat new foods…you name it.

One of my favorite books is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. One of the laws is the Law of Detachment. Choprah so elequently writes,“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty . . . in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.”

Aaaahhhh…. I could read that passage over and over. It seems so simple, freeing, beautiful and exciting.

So in the spirit of newness and giving, I am excited to announce that every month this year we will be giving away one of my most favorite books that has helped me

1) learn new things,
2) see old things in new ways, and/or
3) challenge the norm of what we “know.”

In January 2021 we will give away a copy of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Simply submit your information below to enter the drawing. We will announce our winner in our email newsletter the last Friday of every month. If you can’t wait to read the book… Order it HERE!