Ashley, vaden, therapist, couples, louisville

Meet Mindfulness & IFS Guru Ashley Vaden, LMFT

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Reassessing midlife for more fulfillment.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 1) Megan discusses the common experience of feeling stuck or unfulfilled in her midlife journey. She acknowledges the feeling of being a hamster on a hamster wheel, going through the motions without making progress or finding joy. This sentiment resonates with many individuals who reach a point in their lives where they question if they have accomplished all they set out to do and if there is more to life.

Midlife is a natural time for reflection and reassessment. It is a period where individuals evaluate what is working for them and what is not. This introspection is normal and can lead to personal growth and positive change. Megan encourages listeners to reclaim their time, energy, and joy in order to make the most of the second half of their lives.

Ashley Vaden, shares her personal experience and perspective. She talks about growing up in Frankfurt, Kentucky, and the culture shock she experienced when moving to Shelby County. Despite the challenges, she used this time to focus on her studies and develop a love for learning. Ashley expresses her desire to be a lifelong student and emphasizes the importance of continuous growth and curiosity.

Ashley’s journey led her to study psychology in college, driven by her own positive experience with therapy in high school. This decision reflects her desire to understand human behavior and help others. Megan commends Ashley for her work as an office therapist at the Mindfulness Center and highlights her contributions to mindfulness classes.

There is great significance in reassessing midlife for more fulfillment. It encourages individuals to take stock of their lives, identify areas that need improvement, and seek out new experiences that bring joy and peace. By acknowledging the need for change and actively pursuing personal growth, individuals can find greater fulfillment and happiness in the second half of their lives.

Reassessing midlife is not about regret or feeling like time has been wasted. Instead, it is an opportunity to realign priorities, set new goals, and make conscious choices that align with one’s values and passions. It is about finding the courage to make changes and explore new possibilities.

This is a reminder that it is never too late to reassess and make positive changes. Megan encourages listeners to embrace the second half of their lives with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and a commitment to personal growth.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy.

Flexibility and freedom in therapy are crucial aspects that can greatly impact both the therapist and the client. 

Flexibility allows therapists to adapt their approach and techniques to meet the unique needs of each client. Ashley had initially considered pursuing a career in fashion or moving to New York. However, due to financial responsibilities and student loans, she decided to utilize her psychology degree and work as a therapist. This decision demonstrates the flexibility she had to make in order to support her son and pay off her debts. By being open to different possibilities and adapting to the circumstances, she was able to find a job that aligned with her skills and interests.

Furthermore, flexibility in therapy allows therapists to be responsive to the changing needs and goals of their clients. Ashley initially did not want to work with children but found herself working with them in her first job. However, she discovered a love for working with kids and found it to be a profound and life-changing experience. This demonstrates how being open to new experiences and adapting to different client populations can lead to unexpected growth and fulfillment in therapy.

In addition to flexibility, freedom in therapy is also crucial.She mentioned that she decided to transition to a different job after five years of working in a high-intensity setting. She desired more flexibility and freedom to be with her child. This highlights the importance of work-life balance and the need for therapists to prioritize their own well-being and personal lives. By seeking out a job that provides more flexibility, therapists can create a healthier and more fulfilling work environment for themselves.

Freedom in therapy allows clients to feel empowered and in control of their own healing journey. Ashley mentioned how she appreciated having someone tell her what to do when she was feeling burnt out in grad school. By providing clients with the freedom to make choices and take ownership of their healing process, therapists can empower them to overcome challenges and achieve their goals.

Internal Family Systems empowers change.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic modality that empowers individuals to create change from within. It recognizes that within each person, there are multiple parts that make up their internal system. These parts can be seen as different aspects of the individual’s personality, each with its own unique characteristics and motivations. The goal of IFS is to help individuals understand and connect with these parts, and ultimately, to find harmony and balance within themselves.

In this episode, Megan talks about the transformative power of IFS in the lives of both therapists and clients. Ashley shares her experience of transitioning from working in an agency to starting her own private practice. Initially, she felt afraid and uncertain about this change, but when she shared her decision with her boss, he expressed his support and decided to join her in this new venture. This moment of validation and support brought a sense of relief and confirmation that she was on the right path. It highlights how IFS can provide individuals with the courage and confidence to make significant life changes.

Internal Family Systems empowers change by providing individuals with the tools and understanding to explore and connect with their internal selves It encourages flexibility, adaptability, and self-compassion, allowing individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives. 

If you are interested in learning more about Internal Family Systems and therapy, make sure to check out this interview with Ashley on the shift your shit podcast! 

 

Tools for your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: CBT Exercises

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Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap

by Jennifer Komis, LMFT

Do you know that your body knows you are anxious before you are conscious of anxiety? Your body
reacts to stress triggers rapidly, creating a tightening in your chest, tension across your forehead, or
maybe a dry mouth or upset stomach. Because the mind and body are inextricably linked like this,
therapists can treat anxiety and stress in multiple ways: we can provide interventions to help calm the
mind AND we can collaborate with you to help calm the body. This is good news, as you have MANY
options of treatment that can help you find your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!
If you prefer to examine how your thoughts impact your behaviors, cognitive behavioral therapy may be
a good fit for you. If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and
observe your body’s sensations, a mindfulness approach may be most helpful. If identifying the inner
parts of yourself that feel anxious and working to calm them sounds appealing, internal family systems
could be just your thing. And if learning breathing techniques and physical relaxation exercises floats
your boat, therapy that focuses first on the body could be perfect for you.
At the Louisville Mindfulness Center, we are well-versed in all these approaches to treating stress and
anxiety. We consider it a privilege to get to know you personally and determine which approach (or
approaches) feels like the right fit for you. In this blog series, we’ll give you a preview of these
techniques and show you how to alleviate anxiety through each approach. Today’s focus? The cognitive
behavioral approach!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you uncover the core thoughts leading you to feel anxious and helps you become aware of
how those thoughts may be driving your actions. Check out an example:

 Stressful event: I got frustrated and raised my voice to my child today.
 What are the resulting thoughts that maintain my stress or anxiety? (e.g., I’m not a good mom.)
 What feelings do these thoughts lead me to have? (e.g., sadness, hopelessness, apathy)
 What behaviors do these thoughts lead me to do? (e.g., give up on tasks, crash on couch, avoid
to-do list)

CBT offers hope because it reminds us that if you change your thoughts, you change your actions! So, in
therapy, we work on reframing the core thoughts that are keeping you stuck and replacing them with
thoughts that bring you more freedom and the actions you desire. For example:

 Old thought: I’m not a good mom.
 New thought: I’m normal because most (if not all) parents struggle with frustration with their
children. I shouldn’t beat myself up. I also did a lot of things well today as a parent.
 New feelings: accepted, calm, motivated
 New behaviors: takes a break for self-care and reflection, calls friend to process stress, moves on
with the day’s tasks

Your turn! What’s a reoccurring thought that may be keeping you stuck? Can you challenge it? Think
about it another way? Give it a try and see how changing your thoughts can cause a positive ripple effect
throughout your day. Then, check out our next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your
toolbox: the mindfulness approach to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

 

Magic, ted, lasso, hypnosis, storytelling

The Magic of Ted Lasso

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Megan and Rob are back with Season 1, Episode 27 of the SOS Podcast, where they talk about their weekend plans and the idea of “calling your shot” as seen in the popular show Ted Lasso. Megan shares her recent experience of appearing on live TV and feeling confident in her performance, while Rob hints at a personal accomplishment related to hypnosis. The hosts delve into the benefits of Ericksonian hypnosis, which Megan is studying and finds to be a natural and effective form of healing.

 

Ted Lasso inspires natural healing.

Ted Lasso, the popular television series, has become a source of inspiration for natural healing. The show’s main character, Ted Lasso, is a positive and optimistic coach who inspires his team to reach their full potential. His message of positivity and kindness has resonated with viewers and has even inspired some to explore natural healing techniques.

 

One of the most memorable scenes from the show is when Ted Lasso is at a bar with the owner of the club and her ex-husband. He talks about the importance of not judging others and being curious. He even calls his shot in a game of darts, choosing “barbecue sauce” as his target. This scene has become a symbol of the show’s message of positivity and optimism and has inspired many to adopt a similar mindset.

 

Megan has been inspired by Ted Lasso’s message of natural healing. She is currently studying the Ericksonian hypnosis technique, which is based on neuroscience and gene expression. This technique is more conversational and indirect than traditional hypnosis and focuses on natural healing through positive suggestion and visualization.

 

Megan sees the Ericksonian hypnosis technique as the epitome of natural healing. It is a way to tap into the body’s natural healing abilities and to promote positive change through positivity and suggestion. She believes that this technique can be a powerful tool for anyone looking to improve their mental and physical health.

 

The message of Ted Lasso is one of positivity, kindness, and natural healing. The show has inspired many to adopt a similar mindset and to explore natural healing techniques like the Ericksonian hypnosis technique. By promoting positivity and kindness, Ted Lasso has become a symbol of hope and healing for many and has inspired a new generation of natural healers.

 

Ericksonian therapy.

Ericksonian therapy is a form of hypnosis that focuses on storytelling and shifting perspectives. This technique is often used to help people get unstuck and to facilitate aha moments. In the show, Ted Lasso, the titular character exhibits many traits that align with Ericksonian therapy. For example, he often tells stories and uses metaphors to teach lessons, allowing the listener to come up with their own answers and perspectives. This technique is effective because it allows the listener to wire the lesson into their brain in a more meaningful way.

 

Ted Lasso’s coaching team also exhibits traits of Ericksonian therapy. Each member has their own specific role, and Ted doesn’t get into a hardcore, tell-you-what-to-do parental role. Instead, he trusts his team to come up with their own solutions and perspectives. This promotes a sense of collaboration and trust, which are important aspects of Ericksonian therapy.

 

In addition to promoting positivity and kindness, Ted Lasso also explores natural healing techniques like EMDR. While EMDR is not technically part of Ericksonian therapy, it does share some similarities. For example, both techniques focus on shifting perspectives and facilitating aha moments. In the show, Ted inadvertently teaches others to adopt these techniques, promoting natural healing and self-discovery.

 

Overall, Ted Lasso is a great example of how positivity, kindness, and natural healing techniques can be effective in promoting mental health and well-being. By exploring Ericksonian therapy and other natural healing techniques, the show has inspired a new generation of healers and therapists who prioritize collaboration, trust, and kindness in their work.

 

Hypnosis is not mind control.

One of the techniques explored in the podcast is hypnosis, which has often been misunderstood as a form of mind control. However, the episode explains that hypnosis is actually a way of helping individuals relax their conscious thinking just enough so that their subconscious can come into play and either make sense of things or help find order or give more information. It is not about controlling someone’s thoughts or actions, but rather about creating an environment that is accepting, compassionate, and open, and allowing individuals to find their own answers.

 

The podcast also emphasizes that hypnosis is not a one-size-fits-all solution and that everyone processes information differently. Some people are visual learners or processors, while others are audio or kinesthetic feeling-based. Hypnosis, therefore, needs to be tailored to each individual’s unique needs and preferences.

 

Megan and Rob also touch on the power of storytelling in hypnosis. They explain that it doesn’t matter what the story is, but rather the storyteller’s positive trance that invites listeners to also go into a positive trance, making them more willing to hear what is being said. This is similar to how Ted Lasso’s positivity and enthusiasm create a positive environment that inspires and motivates those around him.

 

Remember, hypnosis is not mind control, but rather a natural healing technique that can be effective in promoting mental health and well-being. It is about creating an environment that is accepting, compassionate, and open, and allowing individuals to find their own answers. By understanding and embracing the power of hypnosis, we can help individuals overcome mental health challenges and lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

 

Flexibility in mindfulness practice.

Megan and Rob discuss the concept of flexibility in mindfulness practice. The Mindfulness Center, as the name suggests, aims to help individuals become more mindful, but not necessarily in a rigid or prescriptive way. The center’s therapists do not take an expert role or give advice but rather empower the client to find their own solutions. This approach is based on the idea that individuals have the capacity to activate their subconscious and heal themselves, with the therapist serving as a guide rather than a director.

 

They also highlight the importance of flexibility in the practice of mindfulness. While mindfulness techniques such as breathing exercises can be helpful, they are not the only way to become more mindful. The center’s therapists use a variety of approaches, including Ericksonian techniques, to help clients become more mindful in their own way. This flexibility allows individuals to find what works best for them and to develop their own mindfulness practice.

 

The concept of flexibility in mindfulness practice is important because it recognizes that each individual is unique and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to mindfulness. By allowing individuals to find their own way of becoming more mindful, the center empowers them to take control of their own mental health and well-being. This approach is in line with the idea of hypnosis as a natural healing technique that promotes mental health and well-being by creating an environment that is accepting, compassionate, and open.

 

Flexibility in mindfulness practice is essential for promoting mental health and well-being. By empowering individuals to find their own way of becoming more mindful, the Mindfulness Center helps them take control of their own mental health and well-being. This approach is in line with the power of hypnosis as a natural healing technique that can help individuals overcome mental health challenges and lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

 

Positive mindset leads to growth.

Megan and Rob discuss the power of positive mindset and how it can lead to growth and progress in various aspects of life. They emphasize the importance of shifting one’s thinking to see a bigger rainbow of options instead of being rigid in one’s beliefs and choices. By doing so, individuals can become more flexible and open-minded in their decision-making, leading to better outcomes and personal growth.

 

Megan and Rob also draw parallels between the positive mindset of the character Ted Lasso in the TV series and the benefits of having a positive trance in one’s personal and professional life. Ted Lasso’s intention to help his players become better human beings, not just better players, is a testament to the power of positive mindset and how it can impact those around us.

 

Furthermore, they highlight the importance of values and their crucial role in shaping our mindset and actions. By staying true to our values and beliefs, we can maintain a positive trance and create positive interactions with others.

 

In conclusion, the podcast reinforces the idea that a positive mindset leads to growth and progress in various aspects of life. By being flexible, open-minded, and true to our values, we can create positive interactions with others and promote our mental health and well-being. The power of a positive mindset and hypnosis as a natural healing technique can help individuals overcome mental health challenges and lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

 

Goodbye and thanks, Megan.

However, Megan and Rob also remind us of the importance of saying goodbye and expressing gratitude. This simple act of saying goodbye and expressing appreciation can have a significant impact on our relationships and our overall well-being.

 

Saying goodbye is an essential part of any relationship, whether it’s a professional or personal one. It allows us to acknowledge the end of a chapter and move forward with a sense of closure. When we say goodbye, we also have the opportunity to express our gratitude to the person we are parting ways with. This expression of gratitude can strengthen our relationships and leave a lasting positive impression.

 

Expressing gratitude is an essential component of positive psychology, which emphasizes the importance of focusing on what is good and positive in our lives. By expressing gratitude, we can shift our focus from negative to positive, promoting our mental health and well-being. Moreover, expressing gratitude can also inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of positivity and kindness.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

Megan, Bartley, Claudia, Coffey, WHAS, Great Day, Live, Boundaries, that work, How to learn, boundaries

Boundaries That Work

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Are you like most people and struggle with overcommitting and saying yes to everything? Then you will not want to miss the WHAS Great Day Live segment with Megan Bartley as she offers tips for setting healthy boundaries. Megan offers advice for setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care and references her online class on boundaries: The Art of Saying “No”: Boundaries That Work for You. By setting a time limit for events and reflecting on which events energize or drain us, we can protect our time and energy. It’s important to know when to say no and prioritize our well-being.

Set boundaries for self-care.

In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and it can be challenging to set aside time for self-care. However, it is crucial to establish healthy boundaries to protect our time and energy. Recently, Megan appeared on a WHAS segment and discussed the importance of setting boundaries for self-care.

 

Megan explained that it is natural to want to say yes to people who invite us to events. It feels good to be wanted, and we don’t want to disappoint others. However, saying yes to everything can be draining and exhausting, leaving us with little time and energy to take care of ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we invite others to do the same.

 

Setting boundaries can be challenging, as many people view it as being selfish. However, it is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. We need to know when we need downtime and protect our time and energy. It is essential to understand that we don’t always have to take care of everyone else and that it is okay to say no.

 

Megan suggests that we change our “shoulds” to “coulds.” Instead of feeling like we should do something, we can think about what we could do and decide what is best for us. If we feel like we need to attend an event, we can set boundaries to limit our time there, so we don’t get drained.

Boundaries are an art form.

The art of setting boundaries involves learning how to say no in a polite and respectful manner. People often tend to say yes to everything, even if they do not have the time or energy to do it. Megan suggests that it is better to say, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you” instead of saying yes right away. This way, we give ourselves time to decide if we want to commit to something or not.

 

Setting boundaries is not only about saying no to others but also about setting limits on our own behavior. We can empower ourselves and fix our own “problems” when we see how we contribute to the issue and become intentional about fixing it. When we to learn how to prioritize our time and energy, we can focus on the things that matter the most. This means learning how to say no to and for ourselves when we need to take a break or rest.

 

In conclusion, setting boundaries for self-care is essential to protect our time and energy. It is a balance between giving our time to others and taking care of ourselves. By setting boundaries, we invite others to take care of themselves, creating a healthier and happier community. The art of setting boundaries requires practice and patience, but it is worth it in the end.

Check out the Boundaries Class HERE!

Click HERE to listen to the Shifting Our Sh!t podcast

 

WHAS The Art of Saying No: Boundaries That Work for You!

Compassion Fatigue, Anxiety, Caregiver, fatigue

Who Helps the Helpers?

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Is caring for others part of your job? Maybe you are a healthcare worker, faith leader, teacher, or non-profit leader who cares deeply about the people you serve, but sometimes you feel exhausted, frustrated, anxious, or irritable. If so, you may be experiencing compassion fatigue.

My name is Britt Riddle, and I have over fifteen years of experience working in a variety of helping professions and navigating and recovering from compassion fatigue and burnout. Compassion fatigue is a common response to the complex and overwhelming situations we may find ourselves in when working with people who have experienced trauma or other significant stressors in their lives. Now, as a therapist at The Mindfulness Center, I specialize in working with people in helping professions who want to prevent or reduce compassion fatigue—by clarifying their values, nurturing inner peace, cultivating mindfulness practices and perspectives, and rediscovering what brings joy in their lives.

Compassion fatigue refers to the emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion that comes from being consistently exposed to stressors in other peoples’ lives.

 Signs you may be experiencing compassion fatigue may include:

  • Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and emotionally drained from caring for others;
  • Physical Exhaustion: Experiencing physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and difficulty sleeping;
  • Spiritual Exhaustion: Feeling disconnected from your values, beliefs, and sense of purpose;
  • Depersonalization: Feeling detached and removed from the people you are trying to help, and experiencing a decrease in empathy and compassion
  • Challenges with Emotional Regulation: Feelings such as anger, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness may feel more intense and may make it more difficult to feel grounded;
  • Decreased Sense of Self-Worth: Feeling that your work is unimportant and not making a difference.

 The good news is that researchers have identified specific risk factors and protective factors for compassion fatigue and burnout. This means we can work on shifting our perspectives, learning new skills, and making small changes to our environment to reduce compassion fatigue. When protective factors for compassion fatigue are cultivated, compassion resilience can emerge—the ability to maintain our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being while compassionately caring for others.

People and workplaces that foster resilience on a regular basis create an environment where employees feel less stress, experience fewer feelings of imposter syndrome, are more socially connected, and find greater meaning in their work. This leads to greater work satisfaction, increased productivity, and less burnout/turnover.

 In addition to providing therapy, we often get requests from organizations about how we can support their work and their employees. We care best for others when we ourselves feel supported, which is why we would be glad to partner with you to customize trainings, workshops, and support/education groups to support your employees and organization as you do the important work of caring for others.

Britt, Riddle, Religious, Spiritual, Development, Injury If you are interested in exploring compassion fatigue and compassion resilience, either for yourself or your organization, I would be glad to talk with you more about this to see how we might work together. You can contact me or schedule a free 10-minute consultation or first appointment with me here: https://mindfulness-center.com/our-team/britt-riddle-dmin-mamft/. I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

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In general, relationships are tough, even for those who’ve been married, friends, or coworkers for years.

How do we recognize when a relationship is good for us or when a relationship isn’t good for us? Often, the lines are fuzzier than we’d like, black and white don’t apply, and we live in a foggy grey, feeling stuck. Sometimes happy. Sometimes frustrated. Almost always anxious. 

So much of this is normal. The images portrayed to us in movies or books present relationships, especially romantic relationships, and decisions that look easy. “The one” is always obvious. Friends are always funny and supportive. Sex is always amazing. Conversations over tough topics are nonexistent or minimal. So, when we encounter a real relationship and it doesn’t look like that, we really aren’t sure what to make of it, or how to assess if it’s “good” or not. Whether it’s a friend, coworker, or spouse, the proverbial question becomes, “do I stay or do I go?” 

Jennifer, Komis, Mindfulness, CenterAs a therapist, I specialize in helping people flourish, whether that means leaving a toxic relationship of some sort or working to improve a relationship in their life that’s worth it. I work with individuals who aren’t sure what they want and help them determine what’s a right choice for them, not THE right choice, as right choices are almost always multiple.

So, we talk about boundaries, feeling safe, communication, fears, hopes, and how in the world we might honor all of those things in the decisions we make for ourselves. We talk about how the messages we experience growing up sometimes influence how we see people or relationships now. We discuss how to choose what to do in our relationships, as opposed to living a life on autopilot that feels consistently unfulfilling. We make all the space we need to calmly tackle the hard questions about what the next steps might look like in workplaces, marriages, and friendships.

In short, I partner with you as you build a future you can be excited about and that nourishes you, mind, body, and spirit.

If this sounds interesting to you and you’d like to explore working with me, please feel free to schedule a free 10-minute phone consultation or first appointment with me HERE. I look forward to chatting with you!

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