The Great Awakening – When Your Body Starts Speaking a Different Language
By Megan Bayles Bartley, LMFT
Welcome to the Club Nobody Talks About
Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about perimenopause: it’s not just about hot flashes and irregular periods. It’s about your body staging a complete renovation while you’re still living in the house. And honey, construction is messy.
You’re in your forties, maybe early fifties, and suddenly your body feels like it’s speaking a foreign language. Your sleep is scattered, your emotions swing like a pendulum, and your teenagers are looking at you like you’ve lost your damn mind. Spoiler alert: you haven’t. You’re just entering what I like to call the “fuck it forties” – that beautiful, chaotic time when your body (and the rest of you!) starts prioritizing different things.
The Anxiety Spiral: When Your Mind Joins the Party
Let’s get real about perimenopause anxiety. One day you’re handling life like the capable woman you are, and the next, you’re lying awake at 3 AM catastrophizing about whether you remembered to wash your teenager’s basketball jersey or if that slight change in your partner’s tone means your marriage is doomed.
This isn’t weakness. This isn’t failure. This is hormones doing the tango with your neurotransmitters while you’re trying to keep everyone else’s world spinning.
Here’s your permission slip: You don’t have to be okay with feeling like this. You also don’t have to fix it all at once. In fact, you probably can’t. What you can do is accept that life is really uncomfortable right now.
Mindful Awareness: Your New Best Friend
Mindfulness isn’t about sitting cross-legged humming “Om” (though if that’s your thing, go for it). It’s about creating space between what you’re feeling and how you respond. When anxiety hits, try this:
- Name it: “I’m feeling anxious about my daughter’s attitude.”
- Claim it: “This is a normal response to hormonal changes. AND it is developmentally appropriate for my daughter to behave this way.”
- Breathe through it: Three deep breaths where the exhale is longer than the inhale. (Simple yet VERY effective!)
The Marriage Reality Check
Your partner might be confused. Hell, you might be confused. The woman they married is still there, but she’s evolving. Your needs are changing. Your boundaries are shifting. And that’s not just okay – it’s necessary.
Communication becomes crucial: “I need you to know that when I seem irritable, it’s not about you. I’m navigating some big changes, and I need your patience while I figure this out.”
Parenting Teens While Your Brain Feels Like Swiss Cheese
The cosmic joke of perimenopause is that it often coincides with parenting adolescents. You’re both going through hormonal chaos, emotional upheaval, and identity shifts. It’s like a perfect storm of feelings.
Survival strategy: Lower the bar. Seriously. If everyone is fed, relatively clean, and still speaking to each other by bedtime (at least most of the time), you’ve won the day.
Your Homework (Because You’re Not Busy Enough)
This week, practice radical self-compassion. When you catch yourself spiraling, ask: “What would I tell my best friend if she were going through this?”
Remember: You’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re in transition. And transitions, while messy, often lead to the most beautiful transformations.
Next month: We’ll dive into practical strategies for managing the day-to-day chaos while honoring your changing needs.
Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT, is a proud member of The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and The International Society of Hypnosis.
She has written several contributions for the Ericksonian FoundationNewsletter multiple times! She’s even had her book RESET: Six Powerful Exercises to Refocus Your Attention on What Works for You and Let Go of What Doesn’t reviewed in the Newsletter. Read the review HERE!
