Written by Megan Bayles Bartley, MAMFT, LMFT
Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.
– John De Paula
Wow. What a wonderful reminder!
I was remembering the year I felt most productive, successful, and fulfilled, which was also one of the toughest years for me emotionally.
It was 2018 and I was juggling the growth and expansion of my business with my father’s grim cancer diagnosis and impending death on top of raising a young family.
Several things stand out to me that made that year feel productive, successful, and fulfilled:
1) I slowed down
2) I listened with and to my heart.
3) I connected with what really matters to me in each moment.
4) I chose meaning over money and people over profits.
5) I chose myself over others.
6) I was reflective daily.
7) I was vulnerable with myself.
8) I was vulnerable with others.
9) I was intentional.
The best advice I was given during that time was also a key to this feeling of productivity, success, and fulfillment. Because I was flying back and forth from Louisville to San Diego, there was the feeling of being torn between two places, two meanings. Many ideas were floated but here was the wisdom that stuck with me:
Your life is not in San Diego.
Your life is in Louisville.
I took this to mean:
You can be present with Dad and Mom in San Diego while you are there.
Your kids, husband, business, meaning, etc. are in Louisville.
You can be with cancer and impending death in San Diego.
You can be with growth in Louisville.
Perhaps I was compartmentalizing. Cool. It helped immensely. How I think of it now is the feeling of being grounded (or centered). I felt more peace when I had this focus.
I felt grounded in Louisville, even when I went to visit my parents in San Diego.
Whether we realize it or not, we visit difficult situations every day. What if we experiment with bringing the feeling of groundedness with us, not only in difficult situations but in every moment of our lives. And what is it that we are grounding ourselves in?
We’re grounding ourselves in something that is true for us. Or perhaps something that brings intentional meaning for us. Or perhaps something that makes you feel lighter. This might mean grounding yourself in knowing who you are, not who someone else tries to make you out to be. It might mean knowing this moment is tough and you can do tough things and not all moments will be tough. This might mean listening to a favorite song that reminds you of wonderful times and helps you feel lighter.
I trust that you can think of many things you might ground yourself in, whether you’ve already thought of them as you’re reading this, or in the upcoming days or weeks, or even in the moments when you need to feel grounded. Whatever you come up with, remember you’re resting in your truth. Perhaps that’s when you will feel most productive, successful, and fulfilled.
