Elizabeth, McCormack, Florida, therapist, mindfulness

Meet Boundary Expert, Elizabeth McCormack, LMFT

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Elizabeth McCormack talks about boundaries for your life! 

Boundary expert, Elizabeth McCormack’s, journey to becoming a therapist began in the Midwest. She grew up in Illinois and graduated from high school in Bloomington, just a couple of hours outside of Chicago.

After high school, Elizabeth attended Hanover College in southern Indiana. As a Presbyterian, she was drawn to the college’s religious affiliation. During her four years at Hanover, Elizabeth developed a passion for understanding and helping others. This passion led her to pursue a career in therapy.

In 2001, Elizabeth enrolled in graduate school at the Louisville Presbyterian Seminary in Kentucky. It was there that she met Megan, who would later become her close friend and colleague. The two formed a bond that has lasted over 20 years.

Throughout her journey, Elizabeth has lived in various places, including Austin, Texas, and Tucson, Arizona. These experiences exposed her to different cultures and perspectives, further shaping her understanding of human behavior and the importance of mental health.

Elizabeth’s desire to help people problem solve and listen to their problems all day led her to become a therapist. She finds fulfillment in guiding individuals through their challenges and helping them find solutions. Elizabeth’s empathetic nature and ability to create a safe space for her clients make her an excellent therapist.

The COVID-19 pandemic presented an opportunity for Elizabeth to expand her practice. With the ability to renew licenses in multiple states, she now sees clients both in Florida, where she currently resides, and in Kentucky. Elizabeth’s familiarity with both areas makes her a valuable option for clients who may relocate from the Midwest to Florida.

As a therapist, Elizabeth understands the importance of following the rules and laws governing her profession. While state lines may currently limit her ability to see clients in certain locations, she remains hopeful that these restrictions will be resolved in the future. Elizabeth believes that the future holds a more inclusive and accessible approach to therapy.

Boundaries are important for self-care.

One key aspect of Elizabeth’s approach to therapy is her emphasis on boundaries. She believes that boundaries are essential for self-care and maintaining emotional well-being. This belief is rooted in her own experiences and observations of the world around her.

Elizabeth recognizes that we live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with external influences and the emotions of others. It can be easy to absorb these feelings and allow them to dictate our own behavior. Elizabeth firmly believes that our job is not to fix the emotions of others, but rather to be in control of our own.

For Elizabeth, boundaries serve as a protective barrier against the negative emotions and energy that can be draining and detrimental to our own well-being. By setting boundaries, we can create a space where we prioritize our own emotions and needs, rather than being at the mercy of external factors.

One way Elizabeth teaches this concept to her clients is through the metaphor of Spongebob. She explains that just like Spongebob, we shouldn’t be “sponges” that absorb the feelings of everyone around us. Instead, we should focus on paying attention to our own emotions and taking care of ourselves.

This emphasis on boundaries is not limited to individuals, but also extends to relationships. Elizabeth believes that healthy relationships are built on clear and respectful boundaries. By establishing and maintaining boundaries, we can create a space where both parties feel safe and respected. This allows for open and honest communication, fostering deeper connections and understanding.

Elizabeth’s training at the Presbyterian Seminary further reinforced her belief in the importance of relationships and boundaries. She recognizes that relationships are not just about our interactions with others, but also the relationship we have with ourselves and with a higher power. By setting boundaries, we can navigate these relationships in a healthy and balanced way.

Stay in control of yourself.

Elizabeth discusses the importance of staying in control of oneself. She uses examples such as driving in traffic and parenting to illustrate how maintaining emotional boundaries can lead to healthier relationships and overall well-being.

One of the first examples Elizabeth mentions is observing people who try to zip through traffic, disregarding others and showing that they are in more of a hurry. She suggests that instead of getting caught up in their behavior and trying to override them, it is important to focus on what is in our own lane. This means taking care of ourselves and being aware of the emotional state of others around us. By staying in control of our own emotions, we can provide empathy and compassion without absorbing the emotions of others. This approach is more helpful and allows us to be good listeners rather than getting overwhelmed ourselves.

Elizabeth also applies this concept to parenting. She highlights the importance of letting children experience their own emotions, even if they are tough or overwhelming. Instead of getting overwhelmed with them, she suggests that parents should stay calm and provide support and understanding. By staying in control of their own emotions, parents can create a safe space for their children to express themselves and process their feelings. This approach allows children to learn how to handle their emotions and develop resilience.

The idea of staying in control of oneself is not limited to driving or parenting. Elizabeth also mentions how therapists practice this concept in their work. Therapists do not join their clients in their emotional state but instead stay in their own lane and provide a safe space for clients to explore their emotions. This approach allows therapists to offer guidance and tools for clients to handle life stressors effectively.

The key message throughout the podcast is that staying in control of oneself is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and emotional well-being. By setting and maintaining boundaries, individuals can prioritize their own needs and protect their emotional state. This allows for more effective communication, empathy, and understanding in relationships. It also enables individuals to navigate challenging situations with a greater sense of control and agency.

If you want to hear more about how boundaries would be beneficial in your life, make sure to check out Season 2, Episode 5 of Shift Our Shit! 

 

Tools for Your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: Mindfulness

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Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap with Mindfulness (Part 2)

Imagine you are walking into the ocean. The waves crash against your knees and the sand slides
between your toes. As you walk deeper into the water, you notice subtle currents pull you in different
directions, left, right, or out further. It’s hard not to drift in the direction of the current; at times, it may
even feel impossible. You glance at the shore and notice you’ve drifted quite a ways in a direction you
did not intend. Now, imagine that instead of amid the currents, you are standing on the shore looking
out at the ocean. You’re noticing how the water rolls in and out, how the currents swirl and pull and
push the water. This time, you’re just watching the currents as your feet remain firmly fixed on the sand.
You notice the sun warming your shoulders, the seagulls singing overhead, and you begin to walk down
the beach in a direction of your choosing.

You may be wondering, what in the world does the beach have to do with mindfulness? Well, it provides
a metaphor for the experience of our daily lives. We may live on autopilot and go, go, go where the
currents takes us, without pausing to decide for ourselves if we really want to go there, how we really
want to respond, or if, maybe, we would just like to rest. Mindfulness reminds us that we have the
choice to ground our feet in the steadiness of any moment, observe it and decide how we would like to
respond to it. Mindfulness suggests that when we notice the current, we step back, observe it, and
decide what’s next, instead of reacting like perhaps we always have. In short, mindfulness allows us to
awaken from the autopilot and take back control of our lives.

If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and observe your body’s
sensations, and making intentional choices from that space, the mindfulness approach we specialize in
at The Mindfulness Center may be the perfect way to free yourself from the stress and anxiety trap.
Don’t worry, you don’t need a yoga studio membership, extra time in your day, or even a clear mind to
practice mindfulness. We’ll teach you how to do it in the everyday moments of your life, whether at
your desk at work or while driving a carful of kids home from school. And don’t forget to check out our
next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your toolbox: the internal family systems approach
to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

 

Ashley Vaden Shares Her Experience With Getting Therapy

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Therapy helps with personal growth.

In Season 2, Episode 3 (Part 2) of Shifting Our Shit Podcast, we discuss the idea that therapy is a powerful tool that can aid in personal growth and development. It provides individuals with the opportunity to explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Through therapy, individuals can gain insight into themselves, understand their patterns of behavior, and make positive changes in their lives.

One of the key benefits of therapy is the ability to gain self-awareness. Many people go through life on autopilot, not fully understanding why they think, feel, or act the way they do. Therapy allows individuals to delve deeper into their thoughts and emotions, uncovering underlying beliefs and motivations. This self-awareness is essential for personal growth, as it provides a foundation for making meaningful changes in one’s life.

In therapy, individuals can also learn valuable coping skills and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Therapists can teach techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals navigate difficult emotions and challenging situations. By learning and practicing these skills, individuals can develop resilience and improve their overall well-being.

Therapy provides a space for individuals to process and heal from past traumas or unresolved issues. Many people carry emotional baggage from their past that affects their present lives. Therapy offers a safe and non-judgmental environment to explore and address these issues. Through techniques like talk therapy, art therapy, or experiential therapy, individuals can work through their emotions and find healing and closure.

Another significant aspect of therapy is the opportunity for personal growth in relationships. Therapy can help individuals develop better communication skills, establish healthy boundaries, and navigate conflicts effectively. By understanding their own needs and emotions, individuals can improve their relationships with others, whether it be with romantic partners, family members, or friends.

Therapy also promotes self-acceptance and self-compassion. Many individuals struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, constantly comparing themselves to others or feeling inadequate. Through therapy, individuals can challenge negative self-talk, develop a more positive self-image, and cultivate self-compassion. This newfound self-acceptance allows individuals to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, leading to increased self-confidence and personal growth.

Emotions stem from unmet needs.

The statement “Emotions stem from unmet needs” is a powerful and insightful concept that can greatly impact our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. This idea suggests that our emotions are not random or arbitrary, but rather, they are a response to our unmet needs.

When we experience emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear, it is often because there is something within us that is not being fulfilled. These unmet needs can be physical, emotional, or psychological in nature. For example, if we feel angry, it may be because our need for respect or fairness is not being met. If we feel sad, it may be because our need for connection or love is not being fulfilled. And if we feel fearful, it may be because our need for safety or security is not being addressed.

Understanding that our emotions stem from unmet needs can be a transformative realization. It allows us to shift our focus from simply reacting to our emotions to exploring the underlying needs that are driving them. By identifying and addressing these needs, we can begin to find healthier and more constructive ways to meet them.

This concept also highlights the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. When we recognize that our emotions are a signal that something is lacking in our lives, we can approach ourselves with kindness and understanding. Instead of judging or criticizing ourselves for feeling a certain way, we can acknowledge our emotions as valid and explore what they are trying to tell us about our needs.

In addition, this concept aligns with the principles of nonviolent communication, which emphasizes taking responsibility for our own feelings and needs. By recognizing that our emotions stem from unmet needs, we can communicate our needs more effectively and compassionately to others. This can lead to greater understanding, connection, and resolution in our relationships.

Overall, the idea that emotions stem from unmet needs is a powerful concept that can greatly enhance our self-awareness, personal growth, and relationships. By recognizing and addressing our needs, we can find healthier and more fulfilling ways to meet them. This understanding also allows us to approach ourselves and others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding. Ultimately, it can lead to greater fulfillment, happiness, and harmony in our lives.

Eliminate unnecessary suffering, self-compassion.

In the podcast, Ashley discusses the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion. She emphasizes that while there may be unavoidable suffering in life, much of the suffering we experience is self-inflicted through shame, guilt, and self-judgment. Her purpose in therapy is to help individuals validate their feelings and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them in avoiding further self-inflicted suffering.

The idea of unnecessary suffering stems from the belief that when we struggle with anxiety or depression, we often add an element of shame and self-judgment to our experiences. This self-inflicted suffering arises from the way we relate to ourselves and others. Ashley’s goal is to help individuals acknowledge their suffering and validate their emotions, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Overall, the concept of eliminating unnecessary suffering and promoting self-compassion is a powerful one. It encourages individuals to validate their emotions and experiences of suffering, while also guiding them towards self-compassion and healthier ways of relating to themselves and others. By addressing our needs and treating ourselves with kindness and empathy, we can break free from self-inflicted suffering and find greater fulfillment and happiness in our lives. This understanding also allows us to approach others with greater empathy, compassion, and understanding, leading to more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.

 

Make sure to listen to Season 2 Episode 3 (Part 2) to hear our interview with Ashley Vaden! 

 

Tools for your Toolbox for Stress & Anxiety: CBT Exercises

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Finding Your Way Out of the Stress & Anxiety Trap

by Jennifer Komis, LMFT

Do you know that your body knows you are anxious before you are conscious of anxiety? Your body
reacts to stress triggers rapidly, creating a tightening in your chest, tension across your forehead, or
maybe a dry mouth or upset stomach. Because the mind and body are inextricably linked like this,
therapists can treat anxiety and stress in multiple ways: we can provide interventions to help calm the
mind AND we can collaborate with you to help calm the body. This is good news, as you have MANY
options of treatment that can help you find your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!
If you prefer to examine how your thoughts impact your behaviors, cognitive behavioral therapy may be
a good fit for you. If you like the idea of slowing down your mind, learning to watch your thoughts and
observe your body’s sensations, a mindfulness approach may be most helpful. If identifying the inner
parts of yourself that feel anxious and working to calm them sounds appealing, internal family systems
could be just your thing. And if learning breathing techniques and physical relaxation exercises floats
your boat, therapy that focuses first on the body could be perfect for you.
At the Louisville Mindfulness Center, we are well-versed in all these approaches to treating stress and
anxiety. We consider it a privilege to get to know you personally and determine which approach (or
approaches) feels like the right fit for you. In this blog series, we’ll give you a preview of these
techniques and show you how to alleviate anxiety through each approach. Today’s focus? The cognitive
behavioral approach!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you uncover the core thoughts leading you to feel anxious and helps you become aware of
how those thoughts may be driving your actions. Check out an example:

 Stressful event: I got frustrated and raised my voice to my child today.
 What are the resulting thoughts that maintain my stress or anxiety? (e.g., I’m not a good mom.)
 What feelings do these thoughts lead me to have? (e.g., sadness, hopelessness, apathy)
 What behaviors do these thoughts lead me to do? (e.g., give up on tasks, crash on couch, avoid
to-do list)

CBT offers hope because it reminds us that if you change your thoughts, you change your actions! So, in
therapy, we work on reframing the core thoughts that are keeping you stuck and replacing them with
thoughts that bring you more freedom and the actions you desire. For example:

 Old thought: I’m not a good mom.
 New thought: I’m normal because most (if not all) parents struggle with frustration with their
children. I shouldn’t beat myself up. I also did a lot of things well today as a parent.
 New feelings: accepted, calm, motivated
 New behaviors: takes a break for self-care and reflection, calls friend to process stress, moves on
with the day’s tasks

Your turn! What’s a reoccurring thought that may be keeping you stuck? Can you challenge it? Think
about it another way? Give it a try and see how changing your thoughts can cause a positive ripple effect
throughout your day. Then, check out our next newsletter where we’ll discuss another tool for your
toolbox: the mindfulness approach to finding your way out of the stress and anxiety trap!

Jennifer Komis, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist who helps you learn new ways of solving problems and healing. She wants you to know that hope is always available to you, however dismal life may seem. My clients describe me as authentic, down-to-earth, non-judgmental, and real.

She is currently only offering teletherapy services. Teletherapy allows us to meet conveniently face-to-face online without you needing to worry about traffic or childcare. Telehealth therapy is shown to be an effective way to address the vast majority of psychological and relational concerns. I welcome you to email me any questions you have or sign up for a free phone consultation or first telehealth session using the links.

CLICK HERE to schedule a free 10 minute consultation with Jennifer TODAY!

 

Britt, Riddle, Religious, Spiritual, Development, Injury

Therapists Talking About Their Personal Experience With Therapy

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Somatic experiencing therapy helps regulate emotions.

In season 2, episode 2 (part 2) of the Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S) podcast, therapist Britt Riddle,
D.Min., MAMFT shares her personal experience with somatic experiencing therapy. She
explains that as a competitive gymnast as a child, she was very in tune with her body, but after
experiencing trauma as a teenager, she lost her connection with her body and the wisdom it held.
Somatic experiencing therapy is based on the idea that traumatic experiences can get trapped or
frozen in our bodies, which can keep us from fully processing a traumatic experience, leading to
dysregulation in our nervous systems. Somatic experiencing therapy invites awareness and
expression of physical sensations and movement associated with the trauma in order to release
“frozen” energy—this might look like screaming in a safe environment like a parked car or
letting tears freely flow rather than trying to block them.
Britt also incorporates somatic work into her practice of therapy, particularly when working with
individuals in helping professions who often have to suppress their own emotions in order to be
“on” for other people, which over time, can lead to a build-up of stress.

Pay attention to your body.

Many of us go through life without paying much attention to the physical sensations and signals
that our bodies are sending us. This lack of awareness can lead to a variety of problems,
including difficulty managing emotions, chronic stress, and even physical health issues.
Britt discusses how holding our breath during times of stress can contribute to feelings of panic
and dysregulation. By practicing breath work, we can create a muscle memory of deep and
regulated breathing. This can help us stay grounded and calm during moments of heightened
emotions or stress.

Britt also talks about the importance of grounding practices, such as intentionally noticing your
feet on the floor (or ground) in order to feel connected to the earth. Mindfulness does not have to
require a huge time commitment, but can be incorporated into daily life—taking a few moments
at a red light to focus on your breath or noticing sensations happening in your body. These
mindfulness practices can create a greater sense of emotional awareness and nervous system
regulation.

Grounding is important for self-care.

Grounding is an important aspect of managing personal energy and practicing self-care. Megan,
a Reiki master, discusses how our energy is often concentrated in the upper chakras (the mind),

causing us to feel disconnected from our bodies and the present moment. The shift this, Megan
suggests the practice of grounding, which brings the energy down through the body and into the
feet, creating a sense of connection and presence. This can be done through practices such as
stomping your feet or wiggling your toes.
Grounding can also be done with our thoughts. By consciously naming the experience of being
grounded, we can create a pause in our thoughts and bring ourselves to the present moment. This
pause allows for a deeper sense of awareness and a break from the constant stream of thoughts
and distractions that put us into autopilot mode.
Britt is an expert in working with clients who want to increase self-care and decrease compassion
fatigue and burnout. Her calm and grounded presence is appreciated by those who have worked
with her, and she personally understands the challenges faced by individuals in helping
professions. Her approach to therapy emphasizes the importance of grounding, mindfulness, and
body awareness to help clients maintain nervous system regulation, which can lead to healthier
and more fulfilling lives.

Britt, Britt Riddle, Religious trauma

Meet Britt Riddle, DMin, MAMFT!

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Reassessing midlife for fulfillment—transition from minister to therapist.

In season 2, episode 2 (part 1) of Shifting Our Shit (S.O.S.) podcast, Megan introduces Britt
Riddle, a therapist at The Mindfulness Center. Britt is originally from Louisville, but more
recently she lived in Virginia and Western Kentucky while serving in congregations as an
ordained minister. Britt describes how she found herself drawn to the moments she calls “deep
spaces,” in ministry such as the sacred conversations that happened in hospital rooms, in nursing
homes, and at funeral services. Though no longer serving professionally in a congregation, Britt
continues to engage in spiritual practices by attending a Quaker meeting (where there is no
ordained leadership) where she is learning new ways of being in community with people without
being responsible for leading or managing the space.
Britt holds both a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree and a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degree,
and it was this path and her own experience of burnout that eventually led her to return to
Louisville in order to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy. Britt shares that being a
therapist had always been in the back of her mind, but the timing was not right to make this shift
until more recently.

Self-care for sensitive people.

Britt self-identifies as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and shares how the “sensitive” trait is
often overlooked and/or misunderstood—as a personality it exists on a continuum—we all have
some level of sensitivity and those with higher levels tend to take on more energy and feelings
from others. Britt discusses how having high empathy and high sensitivity traits led to
compassion fatigue and burnout as a minister, and ultimately, a career shift to become a
therapist.
For those who are HSPs, Britt describes the importance of recognizing and honoring your needs
for downtime and solitude in order to process and recharge emotions. HSPs are often drawn to
personal and professional work that involve caring for others, which makes the need for
boundaries essential in order to maintain emotional and physical health.
Britt highlights the importance for HSPs of seeking support and professional help when
needed—especially when feeling emotionally overwhelmed. She pursued a degree in marriage
and family therapy to better understand her own experiences and now works with clients who are
experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout.

Pause before reacting to emotions.

Britt highlights the practice of pausing before reacting to emotions. In her own experience Britt
does this by paying close attention to her internal, somatic experience, allowing her to recognize
when her heart rate is increasing and any other physical symptoms she may notice. These
physical cues serve as a reminder to pause and take a moment before responding/reacting to a
situation, which allows our brain to kick in and make active, mindful decisions about how to
respond (rather than react in a way that may be unhelpful). Mindfulness involves being present in
the moment and fully aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. By practicing
mindfulness, we can become more attuned to our emotions and recognize when we are starting to
feel dysregulated or overwhelmed.

PAUSE, Reset, taking a break, take a break

Yes, Therapists Go To Therapy!

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Megan Bayles Bartley is a mental health and relationship expert. Over the last twenty years, she has honed her unique skills as a therapist and now shares her knowledge with you in Season 2 of her podcast – Shifting Our Shit.

 

In Episode 1, Part 2, Megan talks about her own experience with therapy over the last 30-plus year starting when she was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue at 16 years old and was told “it’s all in your head!”

 

About Megan.

Therapy provides support and growth. It is a valuable tool that can help individuals navigate through life’s challenges, gain insight into themselves, and develop the necessary skills to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life.

 

In this episode, Megan Bayless-Bartley shares her personal experience with therapy. She first sought therapy at the age of 16 when she was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. Medical professionals believed her condition was a psychosomatic response to stress, and therapy was recommended to help her identify and manage the underlying stressors.

 

Megan describes herself as a firstborn, type A personality, and a high empath. She also admits to being a deep thinker and running on the anxious side. She had a tendency towards perfectionism and exhibited signs of OCD, such as vacuuming her bedroom carpet with precision. These characteristics, combined with certain family dynamics, contributed to her need for therapy.

 

At the age of 16, Megan started therapy with a marriage and family therapist named Joy. This experience provided her with a trusted adult who offered undivided attention and a safe space to explore her thoughts and emotions. Megan emphasizes the importance of having a therapist who didn’t judge her or make her feel crazy or wrong. This support allowed her to be herself and work through her difficulties.

 

Megan continued therapy on and off throughout her life. In her 20s, she sought therapy again when she was struggling to navigate a romantic relationship with someone dealing with addiction. Therapy provided her with guidance and coping mechanisms during this challenging time.

 

When Megan started her master’s program in marriage and family therapy, she found it beneficial to seek therapy herself. She needed help managing her anxiety about her future and the unknowns that lay ahead. This experience highlighted the importance of therapists seeking therapy for their own well-being and growth.

 

Therapy provides support by offering a non-judgmental space for individuals to express themselves and explore their thoughts and emotions. It allows them to gain insight into their own behaviors, patterns, and underlying issues. Through therapy, individuals can develop coping strategies, improve their communication skills, and learn to navigate relationships more effectively.

 

Therapy also promotes personal growth. It helps individuals identify and challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns that may be holding them back. It encourages self-reflection and self-awareness, enabling individuals to make positive changes in their lives. Therapy provides the tools and resources necessary for individuals to overcome obstacles, improve their mental health, and achieve their goals.

 

Anxiety in relationships requires therapy.

Anxiety in relationships is a common issue that many individuals face. It can manifest in various ways, from controlling behavior to emotional vulnerability. However, therapy has proven to be a valuable resource in addressing and managing anxiety within relationships. Megan shares her personal experiences with anxiety in her own relationship and how therapy played a crucial role in her journey.

 

Megan recalls meeting her now-husband during a time of high anxiety in her life. Recognizing the importance of compatibility and open communication, she took the initiative to involve him in therapy sessions. This decision highlights the significance of therapy in addressing relationship concerns and fostering understanding between partners. By engaging in a couple’s assessment, they were able to explore topics that they may not have discussed otherwise. This assessment served as a foundation for their relationship and allowed them to navigate potential challenges more effectively.

 

Premarital counseling further exemplifies the role of therapy in addressing anxiety within relationships. Megan wanted to ensure that her marriage did not replicate the negative aspects of her parents’ relationship. By seeking outside help, she and her husband were able to address their concerns and establish a healthier foundation for their marriage. Premarital therapy provided them with the necessary tools to communicate openly and honestly, setting them up for success in their relationship.

 

Therapy also played a crucial role in Megan’s personal journey with anxiety. She acknowledges the challenges of living with someone and knowing that it is a long-term commitment. The anxiety she experienced in this context led her to seek therapy once again. By engaging in couples therapy, Megan was able to explore the root causes of her anxiety and work towards healing and growth. Through therapy, she learned to trust her partner emotionally and address the emotional hurts from her past. This vulnerability and growth within the relationship were vital in managing her anxiety and fostering a healthier dynamic.

 

Furthermore, Megan’s decision to seek therapy was influenced by her desire to prevent her anxiety from affecting her children. Recognizing the potential impact of her anxiety on her children, she made it a priority to get her anxiety under control. Therapy provided her with the necessary tools and strategies to manage her anxiety and prevent it from negatively impacting her children. This demonstrates the proactive approach therapy offers in addressing anxiety within relationships and its potential ripple effects on family dynamics.

 

Therapy is important for growth.

Therapy is important for growth. It provides individuals with the necessary support, guidance, and tools to navigate life’s challenges and achieve personal development. Megan shares her own experience in this episode with therapy and how it has been instrumental in her growth and progress.

 

  • Megan emphasizes the importance of being emotionally available to her children and putting her anxiety into perspective. She recognizes that how she shows up with her kids matters and that she needs to be in an emotionally open and vulnerable space. Therapy has helped her own her imperfections, acknowledge when she is wrong, and repair any parenting mistakes. By modeling this behavior for her children, she teaches them the importance of accountability, growth, and repair in relationships.

 

Throughout her life, Megan has sought therapy during various periods of difficulty and transition. She attended group therapy with new moms to discuss the challenges of motherhood. When her father passed away, therapy provided her with the necessary support to navigate grief and the changes it brought to her family dynamics. Megan’s experience showcases how therapy can be a valuable resource during times of loss and change.

 

  • Furthermore, Megan highlights that therapy does not always have to be traditional talk therapy. There are other modalities such as energy healing and Reiki work to release tension and promote healing in the body. This shows that therapy can take many forms and individuals can find what works best for them in their own healing journey.

 

  • Megan also emphasizes the importance of finding a therapist or practitioner that one trusts and feels comfortable with. She describes her current therapist as a coach and energy healer who provides her with the support and guidance she needs at this stage of her life. This highlights the importance of finding a therapeutic relationship that aligns with one’s specific needs and goals.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

Continuting education, mindfulness, megan, bartley

Meet Megan Bayles Bartley

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Megan Bayles Bartley is a mental health and relationship expert. Over the last twenty years, she has honed her unique skills as a therapist and now shares her knowledge with you on her podcast – Shifting Our Shit. In Part 1 of this episode, she talks about her past and how she ended up becoming a therapist. Listen further to Episode 1, Part 2 where she talks about her own experience with therapy over the last 30-plus year.

About Megan.

 

In this episode, Megan addresses the common feeling of being stuck in a routine, like a hamster on a hamster wheel, and not making any progress. She acknowledges the midlife stage as a time for reassessment and reflect on whether if she has accomplished all that she has set out to do in life and if she feels fulfilled. It is normal to question what is working and what is not during this phase.

 

Megan emphasizes the importance of reclaiming one’s time, energy, and joy in order to make the most out of the second half of life. She invites listeners who resonate with these feelings to join her on this podcast journey. She introduces herself as Megan Bayles Bartley and expresses her excitement about hosting the podcast solo, though she will be accompanied by the therapy dog, Lemon Drop.

 

Megan shares her background, starting with growing up in Seattle, Washington, and attending the University of Washington. She initially wanted to become a naturopathic physician and created her own major called Community Health Management. However, after struggling with hard science classes, she switched gears and explored art as a potential career path. Eventually, her interest in wellness versus illness led her to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy at the Presbyterian seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

 

During her time in Tucson, Arizona, working for the Presbyterian Church, Megan discovered her passion for listening, talking, and counseling while interacting with students at the University of Arizona. This experience prompted her to pursue a career as a therapist. With the church’s support, she applied to a seminary program that offered a degree in marriage and family therapy. This field aligned with her systemic approach, focusing on understanding individuals within the context of her various systems and influences.

 

Megan moved to Louisville, Kentucky, to pursue her master’s degree and had a great experience. She met her husband while in Louisville but eventually moved to Austin, Texas, where she practiced as a therapist for 11 years. Nine years ago, they returned to Louisville and started her solo therapy practice.

 

The podcast episode ends with Megan’s introduction to the upcoming season, where she will explore mindfulness and the Mindfulness team. However, the overarching theme of reassessing and reclaiming one’s life remains prevalent throughout the episode.

 

Finding peace in midlife.

After three years of starting a solo therapy practice in Louisville, Megan decided to expand and create the Mindfulness Center, a space for therapists to practice and develop their own practice within. 

 

The goal of the Mindfulness Center is to help people find peace, joy, and a sense of calm in their lives.

 

  • Megan shares that her own experience of being a fairly anxious person in her younger years, growing up in an emotionally unstable household, led her to become controlling and perfectionistic. She emphasizes the importance of therapy in her own life and how it has shaped her as the founding director of the Mindfulness Center.

 

  • Megan also discusses the challenges that many high-functioning individuals face as they reach their 40s and 50s. She refers to this stage as the “fuck it 40s,” where individuals may feel overwhelmed, tired, and worn out. It is a time of redefining one’s life and asking important questions about what they want out of life and how they want to live the second half of their life.

 

  • Megan acknowledges that many high achievers find it difficult to give themselves permission to not constantly achieve and to simply enjoy where they have gotten to. High achievers explore the idea of finding fulfillment in relaxation and enjoying the present moment, which can be challenging for those who are type A personalities.

 

  • The episode also touches on the idea of preparing for the future, such as when children leave the house and exploring new opportunities for travel or personal growth. Megan discusses her own mindset of always looking for the next challenge and how she enjoys taking on home improvement projects.

 

Prioritize self-awareness as a therapist.

Therapists play a crucial role in helping individuals navigate through their emotional and mental struggles. They provide support, guidance, and tools for personal growth and healing. However, it is essential for therapists to prioritize self-awareness in their own lives. This podcast episode emphasizes the significance of therapists seeking their own therapy and being self-aware in their practice.

 

  • One of the main reasons therapists could prioritize self-awareness is to ensure they are providing the best possible care to their clients. By engaging in therapy themselves, therapists gain insight into their own emotions, triggers, and biases. This self-reflection allows them to better understand their clients’ experiences and offer more empathetic and effective treatment. It also helps therapists recognize and address any personal issues that may interfere with their ability to provide unbiased and objective support.

 

  • Moreover, therapists who prioritize self-awareness are more likely to be high-functioning professionals. Megan mentions that clients may not go further than their therapists have gone, suggesting that therapists need to continuously challenge themselves and strive for personal growth. Being aware of their own emotional state and personal limitations allows therapists to better manage their own well-being and prevent burnout. It also enables them to model healthy coping mechanisms and resilience for their clients.

 

  • Furthermore, self-aware therapists are better equipped to handle the complexities and nuances of therapy. As Megan suggests, therapists who are emotionally aware can adapt to the ever-changing dynamics of each session. They can respond appropriately to their clients’ needs and emotions, creating a safe and supportive environment for healing. By being self-aware, therapists can also recognize when they need to seek consultation or refer clients to other professionals who may be better suited to address specific issues.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

men's group. men's health, loneliness, purpose, values

Transitions and Resets

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THIS. IS. BIG! In the final episode of Season 1 of Shifting Our Shit, Rob hands over the reins of the S.O.S. Podcast to Megan. They wrap up the past year (and 28 episodes!) and talk about what they have learned and what they appreciate about each other. Megan has much gratitude for Rob as he was integral in helping get this podcast launched. It is with both sadness and joy that we launch Rob off to focus his attention on other things. We will still hear from him from time to time, just not every episode. Stay tuned for Season Two coming any day now as we “Meet the Team” at The Mindfulness Center. Hear why therapists decide to become therapists (messed up childhoods, no doubt! lol j/k) and therapists’ own experience with therapy!

Transition can be bittersweet.

Transition can be bittersweet. This is a sentiment that many of us can relate to, especially in times of change and uncertainty. The SOS Podcast recently aired its final episode of the season, marking a transition for the show. Megan and Rob discussed their plans for the future, the emotions of both excitement and sadness were palpable. This is a common experience for anyone who has gone through a significant life change, whether it be graduating from school, starting a new job, or moving to a new city.

Megan and Rob likened their transition to graduation season, where one leaves behind a familiar environment and moves on to something new. While there is excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead, there is also a sense of loss for what is being left behind. This is a natural part of the human experience, and it is important to acknowledge and honor these emotions.

As Megan and Rob discussed their highlights from the past season, it was clear that they had created a special bond through their podcasting journey. They had shared their thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences with their listeners, and in doing so, had created a sense of community. This is one of the many benefits of podcasting, as it allows individuals to connect with others who share similar interests and experiences.

However, transitions also bring new opportunities. Megan will be taking over as the new host of the podcast, and Rob will be taking on a different role. This change will allow for new voices and perspectives to be heard and will bring fresh energy to the show. While it may be difficult to say goodbye to the old, it is important to embrace the new and look forward to what lies ahead.

In conclusion, transition can be bittersweet. It is natural to feel a sense of loss when leaving behind something familiar, but it is also important to embrace new opportunities and experiences. Megan and Rob demonstrated this sentiment through the discussion of their upcoming transition. As they move on to new roles and new experiences, they will undoubtedly continue to inspire their listeners to embrace change and look forward to the future.

Stay connected and be conversational.

Throughout season 1 of the podcast, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of staying connected and being conversational. As therapists, it can be easy to feel isolated and disconnected from others, especially when working with clients all day. However, Megan and Rob recognized the value of connecting with others in their field and in their personal lives.

By staying connected, therapists can sharpen their skills and learn from others’ experiences. Megan and Rob highlighted the benefits of interacting with colleagues and friends, whether through professional associations or casual conversations. These connections can help therapists feel less isolated and more supported in their work.

In addition to staying connected, Megan and Rob emphasized the importance of being conversational in their approach to therapy. Rather than relying solely on clinical techniques and jargon, they sought to create a warm and inviting environment for their clients. By being conversational, therapists can build rapport with their clients and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This conversational approach was also evident in the podcast episodes. Megan and Rob engaged in casual, yet informative conversations about a variety of topics related to mental health and therapy. By adopting this approach, they were able to connect with their listeners and make complex topics more accessible.

As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will undoubtedly carry these values with them. By staying connected and being conversational, they can continue to make a positive impact on their clients and the broader mental health community. Their podcast serves as a reminder of the importance of these values and the power of connection and conversation.

The team at Mindfulness Center shares vulnerability.

The podcast episode centers around the upcoming season, which will focus on introducing the team at the Mindfulness Center. Megan and Rob plan to record conversations with each team member, allowing listeners to hear from them and potentially see them on video. The goal is to expand curiosity and learning among listeners by sharing each therapist’s unique approach and experience with therapy.

As mentioned, vulnerability is important in creating a safe and supportive environment. By being vulnerable themselves, they hope to encourage others to do the same. This vulnerability has allowed for natural compatibility and understanding between team members, much like playing doubles in tennis. It has also allowed for flexibility and growth among therapists, as they are encouraged to make their practice their own.

Megan started the group practice did so with the intention of using the synergy of the group to help everyone succeed. It was never about making herself look good, but rather supporting each therapist in doing what they do best. By taking care of the business side of things, she allows her team to focus on therapy with their clients. This support and trust among team members is evident in the way they speak about each other and their abilities.

The importance of vulnerability and connection cannot be overstated in the mental health field. Clients need to feel safe and supported in order to open up and make progress in therapy. By modeling vulnerability and creating a supportive environment among team members, the mindfulness center is setting a positive example for the broader mental health community. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

How vulnerability, intuition, and support create connections.

In the podcast, Megan and Rob discuss the importance of realness, intuition, and support in creating a connection between therapists and clients. They emphasize:

  • The value of being authentic and not striving for perfection- this approach allows clients to feel comfortable and supported, which is crucial for effective therapy.
  • Intuition in therapy- when therapists are comfortable in their own skin and understand their strengths and weaknesses, they can better connect with clients on an intuitive level. This connection allows for deeper understanding and empathy, which is essential for creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment.
  • Create a nice environment for clients- clients come to therapy to feel better and creating a calming and supportive environment can help them achieve this goal. This includes intentional office design, the language used on the website, and the overall vibe of the practice.

The episode emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, intuition, and support to create connections in therapy. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients feel safe and supported, which is essential for effective therapy. These values are crucial not just for the Mindfulness Center, but for the broader mental health community as well. As Megan and Rob move on to new endeavors, they will carry these values with them and continue to make a positive impact.

Own who you are.

One of the key messages of the podcast is the importance of owning who you are. This means being true to yourself, embracing your quirks and idiosyncrasies, and not worrying about what others may think. Megan and Rob discuss how this applies not just to their own lives, but also to their work as therapists.

For example, Megan talks about how she used to feel pressure to conform to certain expectations in her therapy practice. She worried about being seen as “weird” or “out there” if she didn’t follow the traditional clinical model. However, she eventually realized that by embracing her own style and personality, she could actually be more effective as a therapist. Clients respond better when they feel that their therapist is authentic and genuine, rather than just following a script.

Megan also discusses how she had to set boundaries in her practice, such as not seeing couples anymore. While she was initially hesitant to do this, she ultimately found that it allowed her to focus on the clients she was most passionate about working with. By owning her own preferences and needs, she was able to provide better care for her clients.

The concept of owning who you are extends beyond just therapy, of course. It’s a message that can apply to all areas of life. By being true to ourselves, we can build stronger relationships, make more meaningful contributions to our communities, and find greater fulfillment in our work and personal lives.

However, it’s not always easy to own who you are. There may be societal pressures or personal insecurities that make us feel like we need to conform or hide certain aspects of ourselves. It takes courage and vulnerability to be open and honest about who we are, especially in a world that can be judgmental and critical.

When we feel safe and supported, we are more likely to be ourselves and embrace our true identities. This can lead to greater happiness, confidence, and success.

In conclusion, the podcast’s message of owning who you are is a powerful one. By embracing our own unique qualities and being true to ourselves, we can live more fulfilling and authentic lives. This message is especially important in therapy, where clients need to feel safe and supported in order to make progress. By creating a supportive and authentic environment, therapists can help clients own who they are and find greater happiness and fulfillment.

How to show up differently to see change.

  • Take responsibility for our own actions and emotions– this means being mindful of our thoughts and feelings and taking steps to improve ourselves.
  • Being true to ourselves– embrace our unique qualities and perspectives and not be afraid to be different. By doing so, we can attract like-minded people who share our values and beliefs.

We all face challenges and struggles, but by showing up differently, we can overcome them and find greater happiness and fulfillment. This means being open to new perspectives, taking risks, and being willing to learn and grow.

Gratitude shifts negative mindset.

One of the most effective ways to shift from a negative mindset to a positive one is through gratitude. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem, we can shift our perspective and find joy in the present moment.

You can do a simple exercise of writing thank you notes to people we appreciate. This act of gratitude not only benefits the recipient but also has a ripple effect on our own emotional state. By expressing gratitude, we create a positive energy that can spread to others.

Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting our mindset because it helps us focus on the positive aspects of our lives. It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking, especially during challenging times. However, by intentionally focusing on the good things in our lives, we can train our minds to see the positive instead of the negative.

In addition to its emotional benefits, gratitude has been shown to have physical health benefits as well. Studies have found that practicing gratitude can improve sleep quality, reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and even boost the immune system.

Overall, the podcast’s message of gratitude is a powerful one. By focusing on the things we are grateful for, we can shift our mindset and find greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Whether it’s through writing thank you notes or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on what we are grateful for, incorporating gratitude into our daily lives can have a profound impact on our well-being.

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHIFTING OUR SH!T PODCAST

 

Self-Compassion, compassion, anxiety

Finding Peace and Joy in Everyday Life

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What would it take for you to feel more peace and joy in your life?

Perhaps a whole life overhaul? Perhaps not.

Someone asked me recently how to be less judgemental and negative. I gave her a few options to experiment with. Maybe they’ll be helpful for you too!

  1. Focus on all the things you can be thankful for – even if they seem small. Having a roof over your head, food in your belly, a car that runs. Find a handful of gratitudes every day. If they’re the same ones for a bit, that’s ok too. Perhaps with time, you can see more.
  2. Surround yourself with sensory things that feel good. For example, drink your favorite tea or coffee, wear your favorite shirt or shoes, burn that candle that smells divine, listen to your favorite songs, and surround yourself with your favorite colors. It seems trivial, yet it’s not!
  3. Use more adjectives to describe things, people, and events. See things from many angles. Instead of seeing things or people or situations in black/white terms (good/bad, right/wrong, etc.), use more descriptive adjectives to describe these things. Instead of a situation just being horrible and awful, perhaps it was also hard, taxing, and exhausting, and maybe there were some things to be learned from it.

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