What a wonderfully deep and great reminder for letting go! On our Exhale we are letting go of our breath, surrendering and trusting that there will be an inhale to fill up our lungs with the next breath.
The word worthy caught my attention. Perhaps it caught yours too. The idea that we are worthy of surrender speaks to me as “you deserve to let shit go” and even have permission to let shit go.
I’ve been re-reading “Awakening the Buddah Within” by Lama Surya Das and have been reminded of the idea that we suffer (get anxious, angry, annoyed) due to our attachments, especially to ideals and expectations.
Dealing with Difficult People
I have noticed in my own life, when I allow people to be exactly who they are, letting go of who I think they “should” be, I’m not so irritated or frustrated by them. This allows me to be more at peace and less irritated or frustrated with that person because I’m not wasting my energy thinking the person might change or that I could even get them to change.
For years, a practice of mine is to embrace that I only have control over myself. I have no control over anyone else. What I can choose is how I want to show up with others when I experience them as difficult. I choose not to allow myself to react to their current difficult nature even while my heart is racing and I want to scream. I choose not to hand over my power to that person or allow their behavior to control me.
Instead, I imagine as if they just threw me a rope in an effort to play tug-of-war with me. I get to decide if I pick up that rope and play their game or not. My goal is to notice the rope and think, “well, there’s that,” then redirect my attention and the conversation in a different direction.
This has not been easy for me. I have been at this particular practice for 12+ years and still struggle at times. Perhaps you may give it a go?
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/oskars-sylwan-Exgd9N8Q4hk-unsplash-scaled-e1644607172421.jpg15102048The Mindfulness Centerhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngThe Mindfulness Center2022-02-11 19:20:512022-02-11 19:20:51We Are Worthy Of Surrender
It’s not always easy or even possible to “choose happiness.”
With that said, when you surround yourself with people, environments, activities, and animals that you love it helps “lighten” your mood and “lift your spirits” so happiness doesn’t feel so far away.
Lately, I’m finding that that bringing Lemon Drop into the office seems to be just what people need to brighten their days. For me, his presence helps me get out of my own head and remember the carefree life of a dog.
After all, if you pay close attention, your dog will share with you the most important things in life: a good meal, playfulness, rest, curiosity, companionship, and the wonders of the great outdoors. When all else fails, taking the time to slow down and enjoy these daily rituals with them can help pave the way to happiness even in the darkest of times.
Remember, Dog spelled backward is God. Just sayin….
What are some ways you help yourself feel “lighter” emotionally?
Are you looking to experience more joy and peace in your day-to-day life? Are you seeking to be more present in your relationships? Do you ever want to “get out of your own head” and start living more for the moment?
If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions, then this 4 Week Guided Meditation Course is for you!
While utilizing affirmations and attempting to re-structure negative thoughts can be a great practice, sometimes we may feel that we need more to truly manifest what we want in our lives and get more space from negative and harmful thought patterns.
This course uses the power of meditation to help rewire our brain and create new neural pathways so that we can more readily access joy and peace and break out of patterns no longer serving us!
Meditation with others can also help you give and receive the energy from the collective if you’re feeling especially isolated during this time! This course may also be a great practice to help build resilience, peace, and strength before the holiday season is quickly upon us.
All 4 classes are $40 and each session lasts 45 minutes. These sessions will be virtual and held over Zoom Thursday, October 14th & 28th and Thursday, November 4th & 11th from 7-7:45 pm.
Class is structured such that there is an introduction to the mediation. Then I will facilitate a guided mediation for participants. Afterward, the group will process the mediation as a whole and share any insights, feelings, or experiences if they choose! This will also be an opportunity to add additional skills or use the accountability of the group environment to problem solve barriers to consistent mediation practice.
I will be utilizing practices from Eriksonian hypnosis, self-compassion, re-parenting the self, increasing resilience and nervous system regulation. Meditations will be focused on retraining our nervous system. This is to help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression that are a result of developmental trauma, or complex PTSD. This course is meant to help clients re-parent themselves. Participants will experience less emotional deregulation, and access positive, self-affirming, and self-compassionate thoughts more readily.
“How do I forgive? How can I let go? When will this feeling go away? How do I get over this?”
These are phrases I hear daily. These are phrases I’ve asked my own therapist.
The best advice I was given is to find compassion for the person or the behavior as well as for myself. I had no idea what this looked like. I wasn’t even really open to the idea at first. It seemed that if I was compassionate, I would be excusing the person and the behavior. It took me years, if not decades, to allow that compassion to slowly become more present in my life and feel it make a home in my heart. It was DEFINITELY not an easy process.
The more compassion grew inside of me, I finally understood why it is so important. I thought of all the years I spent (perhaps wasted) in anger, fear, and anxiety that hurt me much more than it hurt anyone else.
Be open to compassion. If not for someone else, at least for yourself.
When you are compassionate with yourself, you model for others how to treat you. When you are compassionate with others, you invite them to be compassionate with you.
You deserve it. You are worth it.
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/gus-moretta-BCyfpZE3aVE-unsplash-scaled.jpg17082560The Mindfulness Centerhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngThe Mindfulness Center2021-08-20 15:31:182021-08-20 15:31:18How To Forgive
Quietly, imperceptibly, almost without my having knowing it.
I relaxed.
Got comfortable with myself.
I began enjoying myself, accepting myself, accepting life.
Liking life.
I found joy.
Somewhere along your journey, it will happen to you…
Don’t worry about finding joy.
Because somewhere along your journey, joy will find you.”
-Melody Beattie “Journey to the Heart”
Are we there yet?
(I write this thinking of the laughing/crying emoji I’d love to post right after it!)
Have you arrived at this destination of joy? Is it an actual location, or rather a state of mind? Do we take residence in it or are we just here for a quick visit, perhaps a vacation from reality? Are these questions making you feel anxious or stressed, perhaps with the pressure of needing to accomplish this? Or perhaps you think and feel, “AMEN! Done!”
I am right here with you!
I’m riding the rollercoaster of life, just like you. I still wrestle with the “shoulds” that still reside in me from my family of origin and societal pressures. We are not perfect. We will never be perfect. Frankly, I’m done with trying to be perfect. I don’t have the energy for that anymore. And yet it still creeps in, in moments of stress, illness, quiet, like a little leak of air through a window. Just enough to catch my attention.
I allow myself to give it a touch of attention. I notice a frank conversation happening inside my head starting, “Ok, I’m feeling pressure to do the ‘right’ thing here.” And I tell myself gently, yet firmly, “There is no ‘right’ thing here.” And I respond gratefully, “Oh right, thanks for that reminder, I needed that.”
Then I ask myself, “How long do I want to give this attention? How much energy do I have to give this?”
The second answer gets me and I say, “Zero.” I refocus my attention away from the pressure of perfection and follow up with, “What is it you really need and/or want (to do, think, feel) right now?” Sensing that the best thing for me in this moment is some quiet, some reflection, some “me time.” I know I have options because I’ve been here before and I know what helps. I could read, take a bath, make some tea, get a glass of water, reflect, write, go for a walk, watch Netflix. I think, “Wow! Those are a lot of options!” And I wait a moment to see which one feels like the best option in this moment. I know I can always change my mind and try something else.
One place I find Joy is in the quiet whispers of my heart asking to be cared for, nurtured, and nourished. I know that no one knows me as well as I know myself and that I can nourish and nurture myself in many wonderful ways. This feels freeing to me. I’m not relying on someone else to notice I need something and come to my rescue and give me what I’m needing. I rely on my own strength to go ahead and give it to myself.
Oftentimes mid-life is about reevaluation.
We look back on the last forty (or fifty!) years and assess if we want to continue doing life the same way for the next forty-plus years.
The first forty-plus years have offered us a wonderful foundation of life lessons full of newness and loss. These first forty years have primed us for this moment of reevaluation. We may not have known that we had a choice in how we did those first forty years. Now we are old enough and have been adulting long enough to know what works for us and what doesn’t work for us. We know who we are and what feels best to us. And we’re beginning to not be afraid to speak our truth. This is exactly where you find Joy. In the speaking of your Truth. The freedom to own your wants and needs. The embracing of “Not giving a Shit” what people think of me. And it feels wonderful.
Our free book giveaway this month is Untamed by Glennon Doyle. It addresses this very theme of speaking one’s Truth and taking all the responsibility and ownership of what comes with that. It speaks for bravery and freedom. And reminds us, “We can do hard things!”
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/sasha-freemind-frq5Q6Ne9k4-unsplash-scaled.jpg17072560Megan Bartleyhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngMegan Bartley2021-06-04 16:36:272021-06-04 16:51:25Untamed Joy
The title of this book caught my attention recently while I was at the airport. Working with many people who have anxiety or feel stressed out I thought it could be an interesting read. I like things that make us question the status quo and may be a bit provocative. The subtitle drove home my decision to purchase it: “A counterintuitive approach to living a good life.” Even cooler!
I was curious about the author and what his credentials are so I looked on the back cover and discovered he was a well-followed blogger. Hmmm… Not your typical (potentially dry) self-help PhD? Not surprising with a title like this. My graduate studies had taught me to be leary about non-scientific based information, but I’m an out-of-the-box thinker, so I’m usually willing to let things speak for themself. As I read I realized Manson has no specific education or credential as a therapist or in the mental health field. What he does have is his own personal experiences, which he shares freely in the book (which is different than most PhD, self-help authors!). He’s likable and seemingly very open, which is a plus for me. Essentially what I found is a very direct and easy-to-understand and assimilate way to communicate mindfulness (without really talking about mindfulness!). Even cooler!
I have many clients who are not “readers” and I’m always on the lookout for books that may be interesting to the uninterested reader. This book fits the profile. I have recommended it to several people and they *loved* the title and were willing to give it a whirl upon my recommendation.
A few of the premises in the book that caught my attention:
We can never really avoid being in pain and discomfort (he uses the word suffering), so choose what you want to be in discomfort about.
Choose what you want to give a f*ck about rather than giving a f*ck about everything.
Your emotions are there for a very good reason – to give you feedback, to get your attention. So PAY ATTENTION to them!
Make sure you are aligning with your values and priorities. Are the people you surround yourself with people you strive to be like? Are the decisions you are making assisting you in being the best version of yourself?
Failure is to be expected! Welcome it. Learn from it! Perfectionism can keep us from living in reality… I mean really, at what point is “perfection” achieved?! Or are you always telling yourself you’re STILL not good enough.
It’s ok to say “No.” Again, choosing what you do and don’t want to participate in establishes appropriate boundaries.
I found it to be a very enjoyable, humorous, entertaining read, and am glad I read it.
Intrigued?! Give it a whirl for yourself!
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fuck-summary-1-638.jpg359638Megan Bartleyhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngMegan Bartley2021-05-07 09:30:082021-05-07 17:51:56The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Our expectations for ourselves are often far higher than our expectations for others. Why couldn’t we see into the future about how that marriage would end? Why did we say the wrong thing in that interview? Why can’t we find the motivation to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G….the list goes on.
It’s like someone told us that we are supposed to get everything right the first time and that we are off the rails if our life map involves various stops and starts.
The more people I meet, the more convinced I am that this is all an illusion. The truth is we all crash down only to rise up again. And again. So my message to you is this: The next time you hear that self-critical voice in your head, pause. Notice it. Grab on to grace. Hold it against your chest. Breathe it in. Listen. Let go of the judgment. And give yourself some rest.
You don’t have enough information to do everything right the first time. Give yourself some grace.
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/donald-giannatti-HWTXldFPVKM-unsplash.jpg13331000The Mindfulness Centerhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngThe Mindfulness Center2021-04-29 16:08:342021-04-29 16:08:34Setting The Bar Too High
Lately, we’ve been hearing a lot of terms like: “peak performance,” “level up,” and “elevate yourself” as it relates to being our best self. However, our best self is something that we should take time to think of. Only once we have a good idea of what our best self looks like can develop a proper road map to achieving that.
One tool that can be very effective in achieving our goals, can be to take an inventory of ourselves and assess mindfully how we are trending. We might think of trending as it relates to social media. However, here the term describes an assessment of ourselves.
In therapy or counseling, we often use scales to take a personal inventory.
For example, if you have been experiencing constant anxiety you may say that the anxiety is at an 8 out of 10; 10 being the worst. Your long-term goal may be to get anxiety down to a 2 or 3. However, that can’t happen unless you develop a plan and utilize anxiety-relieving tools.
Understanding how you are trending allows you to set measurable goals where you are able to go from an 8 to a 6 and so forth. If you take that progression then you are trending in the correct direction.
Often individuals have great long-term goals. Which could be to feel more peace, to be happier, or to be less stressed. What often gets in the way of those goals is being unaware of the direction we are trending. After all, all of us carry busy schedules and have many things to do. When we are overwhelmed or highly stressed our brains go into survival mode instead of naturally assessing how we are trending.
If you have a goal or an idea of what your best self is; are you trending away or toward that direction? If you are trending away, what might you do to help yourself begin to trend in the right direction? If you notice you are trending toward your goal what has been working? And as always be gentle with yourself in any direction you may be headed.
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/susan-q-yin-BiWM-utpVVc-unsplash.jpg6671000The Mindfulness Centerhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngThe Mindfulness Center2021-04-02 18:07:562021-04-02 18:07:56How Are You Trending?
As a part of Women’s History Month, I’m highlighting some awesome women-owned/run businesses I really like and admire. Today I’d like to introduce you to Louisville Community Acupuncture. Owners, Margaret and Mike, have made it their mission to offer affordable acupuncture to all. They moved to Louisville from Austin, Texas about a year before I did. What’s funny is that we did not know each other in Austin. My Austin acupuncturist told me to check them out when I got to Louisville so I did, and now we are great friends. It’s been fun to support each other in our businesses and watch each other grow, both personally and professionally.
I started going to acupuncture years ago for seasonal and environmental allergies. It amazed me at how effective it was and how I didn’t have to rely on over-the-counter medication any longer. I quickly realized you can treat just about everything with acupuncture – even anxiety and depression. In fact, I refer many of my clients who would prefer not to take medication to acupuncture to see if it might assist them as well. I now go to acupuncture once a month for self-care and a “tune-up.” I leave feeling wonderfully relaxed and calm.
Community acupuncture is unique in that you are in a room with others while getting your treatment. This helps keep costs down. Everyone’s got their own lazy boy recliner and is distanced 6ft apart. LCA has refined some of this for COVID protocol but it’s still the affordable sliding scale rate of $25-$45 (pay what feels best to you!). If you go, be sure to tell them Megan Bartley from Louisville Mindfulness Center sent you!
This month is women’s history month and I’d like to highlight some other excellent female entrepreneurs that I have known and supported over the years.
This week I want to feature Nicole Bartlett at the Louisville Salt Cave. She and I have collaborated throughout the years and she’s always a joy to connect with. Nicole and the Louisville Salt Cave are always up to cool stuff. They have invited me, on numerous occasions, to lead guided meditations in the cave and be a featured speaker in their speakers series.
As you can see by Louisville Salt Cave’s photo, their mission to help you “Go Inside to Create Your Outside” is quite on-point with the overall philosophy of Louisville Mindfulness Center. What is going on with us internally, shows up for us externally. If your external world is feeling chaotic and uncomfortable, there may be some things to focus on internally and vise versa.
There are TONS of benefits of halotherapy, which is just one of the many benefits of being in the Salt Cave. Just as you might feel differently standing at the ocean breathing in the salt air, so too can you experience that same effect in the cave. AND it offers relief for many physical ailments such as respiratory ailments, asthma, and allergies.
Nicole and her team have also been very mindful about the COVID restrictions and being 6-feet apart. Their Safety Protocol is front and center on their website. You can view it HERE.
If you’ve never been to a salt cave or in particular, the Louisville Salt Cave, it is a unique experience and one that I’m glad I’ve been able to experience! Go check them out! They are a great women-owned business to support!
https://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/131411231_2855238701427077_3261994282866977234_o.jpg10801080Megan Bartleyhttps://mindfulness-center.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/logo-small.pngMegan Bartley2021-03-05 15:45:442021-03-05 15:46:41Going Inside to Create Your Outside: Louisville Salt Cave
